so those of you who see me frequently know that i'm always wearing the same two zip-up sweatshirts. i have this navy blue one from abercrombie, and there's the other brown paul frank one. well, those two are getting super-tattered, especially around the cuffs. so today, i dug out a cream-heather A&F one and wore that one to work. the problem is, it's stained all over (although so are my other old ones), but this one is very light-colored, so you can really see the blemishes. ugh. i can never wear light-colored clothes, especially as outerwear. i've tried washing this sweatshirt, but the stains won't come out. man, i look like a slob.

i've got a headache from basketball dehydration. i get these quite often, even though i drink a whole bottle of gatorade while playing. today, we played four games (two to 7 and two to 11). i ran quite a lot, as demonstrated by the amount of sweat that came out of my pores. it was fun, but man, this headache is pretty painful. and it doesn't help that every time i tic, the violence of the impact makes the throbbing worse.

i think i'm getting sick, too. my nose has been sniffling today, and i think it's because i walked around the office without my sweatshirt right after basketball, so my pores were all open in the air conditioning. right now, snot is pouring freely from my nose. ugh. i hope i don't wake up tomorrow with a full-blown cold. *crossed fingers*

so what i didn't report earlier this week is that i ordered some new porn. hehe. i got some tekoki videos. i was all excited about it, especially when it came in the mail yesterday. however, it turned out to be very BORING. i mean, it was exactly what you would expect: a girl on her knees, giving the guy a handjob for like 10 minutes. i guess i got what i ordered, huh? i guess what i wanted it to be was normal sex, with a nice explosive handjob at the end. hm. i guess that's a little too specific. oh well, that's money down the drain.

so after basketball today, my old boss stopped by with a guest. it turned out to be a guy that i used to work with. he and i joined the company on the same day back in july 1997, and we were in the same team for the first two projects. we didn't get along so well; it would be an understatement to say that i had a personality conflict with him. anyways, i greeted him cordially and shook his hand. i mean, i haven't worked with this guy since the late 90's, so the animosity has faded. lately, i don't really hate anybody anymore; i don't hang out regularly with people i dislike, and those that i used to abhor, i only see in little doses, so that's fine with me.

some of my coworkers are surprised that i change for basketball in my cube. i'm like, "what's the big deal?" all i do is take off my jeans and slip into a pair of shorts. it's not like i get naked or take off my top or anything. i wear boxers, too, not briefs. even back when i was in college and played taiko, i would change in front of everyone, too.

last night, when i was sleeping, i had a weird discovery. in my dreams, i remembered the lyrics to that miley cyrus song. (and i'm pretty sure i got them right, like, i didn't just make them up or anything.) the strange thing is, when i'm conscious, i can't remember those lyrics. interesting, huh, how our memory is better in dream world than the real world. i think _mythbusters_ did this experiment once where they demonstrated that our memory can be enhanced under hypnosis; i wonder if this dream thing is a similar process.

man, my head hurts.

i'm 20 minutes away from getting a massage. i'm really looking forward to it, although i'm not sure if my headache will ruin the whole experience. i've been carrying a lot of tension in my neck and shoulders, so i definitely need some work in those regions.

ok, that's it for today. time to leave soon. gotta check up on some simulations before i go.

man, i got destroyed by mongolian bbq today. my bowl of food was bigger than ever, and it was a struggle finishing it. after i got back to the office, i passed out for a good 30-40 minutes in my cube. the cool thing was bumping into tiffany, the hr girl at gfn who came after *the* hr girl. she recognized me while i was getting my food, and i said hi and gave her a hug. she's a bubbly personality. and she even dated with charles woodson! (he's a heisman trophy winner, i think, who played for michigan and later on for the raiders.)

anyways, no more mongolian bbq for me. i just cannot deal with the food coma aftermath. btw, i didn't try the rice/cooking wine because i was skeptical of how it would change the taste, so i just stuck with my usual recipe, which was fabulous as always.

i've always wanted to be a pen twirler. i know it's a geeky skill to have, but i always thought it was cool. i tried it once, but it was just impossible. i guess it takes a lot of practice. i wonder, though; did all pen twirlers go through hours of practice before getting it right? two of the engineers in my team can do it, and i get mesmerized watching them.

so a random girl facebook'ed me today. before adding her as a friend, i wrote her a quick message asking her how she knew me or if she was a blog reader. she said she was just looking for friends, so i was like, why not. anyways, i'm still waiting for some of you readers/lurkers out there to add me on facebook. come on! go ahead, do it! :)

so one of the games (_xenogears_, an RPG by squaresoft) i sold to my friend (who owns a videogame store) raked in $95. wow! what a killing! i had no idea xenogears was that valuable. my friend complimented me on my taste of videogames back then, but i couldn't take the credit. you see, back then, i subscribed to _next generation_, this videogame magazine, and i only bought games that got rated well, so that's why i only owned good games. i was more of a collecter rather than player; i would buy games, play them for like an hour, get frustrated at the learning curve, and then drop them. oh well. at least now i'm getting use out of them. (or rather, mikeT is getting use out of the store credit that i'm giving him.)

so i asked my aunt about ann/anne, the girl i knew way back when with the ridiculously sexy voice. my aunt didn't remember her parents, but she deduced one possible friend, and gave me her name. so i contacted the mom today (through her realty website), and i'm crossing my fingers that i got the right person. if this doesn't work out, then i guess i'm shit out of luck. let's hope for the best.

i remember how i found jessica, this other old friend of mine who i lost touch with for like 8 years. i knew her dad was a chiropractor back in dallas, so i looked up his last name and "chiropractor" on google and actually called up his practice. i got him on the phone, and i stammered out "h-h-hi... i'm an old friend of your daughter, and i'd like to contact her." i'm glad that he didn't think i was some stalker or madman, and he was kind enough to give jessica my phone number. but damn, jess is being a punk these days; i haven't talked to her in ages, aside from a brief text message over christmas break.

ick. i just burped up (and swallowed down) some of my lunch. it tasted like lay's bbq potato chips.

i am wondering if i should even attempt going to dim sum on sunday. fyi, this sunday is mother's day. last year, grace, john and i tried going to dim sum on father's day, and dynasty was packed beyond belief. in fact, they even had tables outside of the restaurant, in the atrium where the escalators were. nuts! and the wait must have been something like an hour or even longer. hm. i do crave dim sum, though. (the reason why i can't go on saturday is because i plan on being an extra for adam and rae's film.)

my friend S called me up on monday night. she's one of the few people who's open enough to tell me that she gets brazilian waxes. she even measured her landing strip and gave me the dimensions. (i forget the numbers now.) anyways, i love shaved pubes on women. it's probably from watching too much porn, but i do think it looks so clean and elegant and aerodynamic. one time, my ex shaved hers, and i got a boner just by thinking about it. too bad, we broke up soon after it happened, or else i could have enjoyed it more.

i can't recall when i first got my pubes. i don't remember what age i was, or what it looked like when they first came in, or whether it itched or not. it's like i went from being shorn to having a full-blown afro in my crotch. same thing goes for my armpit hair (i don't have much there, though).

ok, i think i'm leaving half an hour early today. the guy i'm working with went to see his chiropractor, so not much i can do here.

my boss and i went over my review today. nothing extraordinary or unexpected happened, but he did ask me if i wanted to manage someone, like a new college grad. i was a wee bit pensive on this question. i've never wanted to do anything related to management, mainly because i think it's rather boring (meetings, powerpoint presentations, etc.). but i do have this sort of paternal/fraternal instinct, for example, taking D under my wing and befriending him and giving him advice sometimes. (and i also gave advice to other new college grads that had left, like J and C.) so i thought about this question from my boss for a while, and i told him maybe, in the future, i'd think about doing it.

hehe. nelson's been waiting to buy cure tickets for the both of us. i guess the way it's been working, the ticket service has been selling them along the sides of hp pavilion, and only now, it's starting to sell them for the middle (far side). man, i don't know if i can sit still for three hours. i mean, it's a great value for my money, but... three hours? i think i'll probably wind up falling asleep. i just hope the band will play songs that i recognize (the only two albums that i know really well are _disintegration_ and _wish_) and not obscure stuff.

some of the engineers here smell really bad. i'm not going to name a race, but you probably know which one i'm talking about. i don't know why they have such an odor. i just went to take a leak, and i went to a urinal recently vacated by a dude. the stench was almost unbearable. i almost switched to the other urinal, but the way i figured, it was only a few seconds of pain, so i just sucked it up and went anyway. foul!

so my coworker D was supposed to go to our branch in israel, but the problem is, he has a taiwan passport, which has expired. and taiwan won't renew his passport, because the country wants him to go back and fulfill his military duties. so basically, the poor guy can't travel anywhere outside of the states now. his only hope is to get a US citizenship, which he's now applying for. man, the things we take for granted.

lately, my morning diarrhea has produced so much stuff that i have to flush twice. i guess the problem is that the stuff has a lot of gas in it, so there are a lot of floaters that don't go down with the first flush. man. and the thing is, i wait until the toilet refills before i get in my car (i've had problems with the toilet not completely stopping the refill process), so it adds an extra minute or two to my morning routine. what causes some turds to float and others to sink?

do you guys memorize your credit card numbers? i do (well, at least one of my credit cards), and i find it to be very handy. like, whenever i order a pizza, or whenever stanford calls me up asking me to donate money, i like the fact that i don't have to pull out my wallet and read out the number. i know, it doesn't save that much time, but still. with the advent of technology, i find that we rarely memorize anything these days (phone numbers, e-mail addresses, web URL's).

my hair has somehow change directions. the patch in the front used to stick straight up (that horrible triangular mohawk thing i used to have), but now, it just flops forward onto my forehead. and i'm not sure why it's doing that now. i don't use gel anymore (except for special occasions when i need to look good), so i don't do anything different with my hair. hm. it's quite a different look, though, because less of my forehead is exposed.

yes, i realize that that cam pic on my blog is over 4 years old. i will put up a new picture someday. in the meantime, you can find me on facebook if you want. i really like my facebook profile pic. (thanks to adam for taking that picture at tim's bbq.)

have you ever been a victim of relative-attractiveness? what i mean is, you're at a function, and you find a mediocre-looking girl attractive simply because all the other girls there are super fugly. that's happened to me before, and i didn't know it happened until i met that girl one-on-one. i was like, "woah there!" so be careful when gauging someone.

basketball was super tough on me today. i think it's because it was relatively warm in the gym, and hence, rather draining. i was completely wiped out when i got back to the office. luckily, that mean guy from last week wasn't there, so we played our games peacefully without any disturbances. i woke up too late to grab breakfast, so i just got a filet o' fish before i went to work. yum, tartar sauce.

ok, well, that's it for me today. i'm drinking my second can of V-8; i figure i should get more vegetable matter in my system, so i think i'm going to make this a regular routine.

i texted a friend from the crapper today at work. i was taking a dump, and i felt unsatisfied, so i sat there, waiting for the next round of shit to come. so, during that wait, i pulled out my phone and texted a message (about the dallas stars) to my friend J. he responded very quickly, while i was still sitting in the stall. i hope he wasn't offended. (i led off the message telling him i was on the loo.)

last week, i had a few pisses where it really hurt. my inner schlong head stung with pain, so much so that i winced and flinched and cut off the stream. i don't know what it was, maybe a cut inside my urethra or some small stones in my urine? anyways, it hurt quite a bit, and i hope it doesn't happen again.

guys, did you know girls can start and stop their streams on demand, almost instantaneously? i had no clue about that until i ran an experiment with an ex. i would give her "start" and "stop" commands, and she was able to respond to them within split seconds. for guys, starting a stream takes a while; it takes quite some times to start the flow, letting it go from the bladder, through the urethra and out. and i've noticed that i'm particularly slow relative to other guys; often, when i hit the urinal at the same time as another dude, i wind up standing there with nothing happening longer than the guy next to me.

re: wiping my ass. yeah, i'm afraid of looking at the toilet paper. i get grossed out by having my shit out in the open, so close to me. maybe subconsciously, i'm afraid that i'll smell it and get some on my face or hands or something. or worse, i'll eat it. eww! so yeah, i just wipe my ass twice (hard) and flush. believe me, it was worse before, because i used to just wipe once before some people on my blog gave me shit for it. but so far after switching to the double-wipe method, i haven't noticed any skidmarks on my boxers, so i think it's a decent system. thank goodness for ass cracks!

amy's back from colombia! she just called me. i'm really hoping that she'll come out to the bay area before she heads to hong kong for business school. i haven't seen her in five years. maybe i'll go back to dallas while she's there this summer, and we can hang out. we'll see. seeing her is one of my major goals this year.

so D and i were all set to go to mongolian bbq today, but then, we decided that it was too expensive, so i threw out yoshinoya as an alternative. it's only half the price of mongolian, so we ended up there instead. what i get there is their "spicy combo, extra sauce." it's good shit, and only $5. still, though, one of these days, i've got to get my mongolian fix.

so one of my ex-coworkers tony, as i found out, is about to strike it rich. he left my company and joined a taiwanese startup that's apparently stealing all of our low-end customers. and his company is going public soon. *RAAR* of course, he works like a dog, and when i saw him last year in taiwan, he told me about his 3-4am workweeks. would you work like that for a couple million bucks? i would say yes, but i know that with my fragile mental condition, i might not survive it. but yeah, i'm jealous of him.

so i got the ball rolling on the quest to search for this one girl i knew back in my late high school days. i e-mailed my aunt in dallas, asking her for her help in finding A, who's the daughter of a friend of her husband. she has one of the sexiest voices ever. i remember feeling weak talking to her over the phone, that's how sexy she sounded. of course, i haven't heard from her in like 15 years, so my hopes of finding her aren't that high. we shall see.

i really enjoy finding long lost friends. like jessica (hadn't talked to her in 9 years), pritam (10+ years), zz (10+ years), etc. i hate the idea that there are some people who i used to talk to that i can never contact again, like a door closing on me permanently. i've even found some old teachers of mine, and i'm always flattered that they (well, most of them) remember me. but yeah, searching (and finding) old friends is really gratifying.

this morning, i had a gruesome dream where i was biting my nails, and i kept going and chewed through the bone in my left pinky. it was really gross, and i started panicking in my dream. it didn't really hurt, but i freaked out because i didn't know how to heal my finger. then i woke up. i checked my finger, and it was intact again. *phew*

the stopclock on my beloved yellow tag heuer watch broke this weekend. the minute hand is now pointing at 44 minutes instead of 0. *cries* you don't get it. i LOVE this watch. it's yellow! i've had it for around 8 years now, and it's one of my most prized possessions. (plus, i got a 30% off deal at a chinese jewelry store, so that made it even sweeter.) now i'm debating whether i should go watchless for like a month and pay the $$$ and get it fixed. the jewelry store will most likely send it to switzerland for repairs.

ok, it's 7pm. time to go.

friday night, alan was really hungry, so we went to hometown buffet. that's right, hometown buffet. i had never been there before, but i had a bad feeling about the place already. (i never do well at american buffet places.) and i was right; the food was really bad. alan and ting always swear they'll never go back there after eating there, and once again, they did the same. after dinner, they were too tired to do anything, so i just went home, watched tv, and called my mom.

i set the alarm for 10am on saturday morning, and i was really excited for the day to begin. first up was brunch at sushi house with sonya. five of us got together there, and we had a good time catching up with sonya. she lives on boston now, and she doesn't do much outdoor stuff (while she lived out here, she did triathlons, for example), so she wasn't as tan as she used to be.

after brunch, we piled into my car and went to downtown palo alto in search of red mango. we found it, and the door was open, but one of the guys inside yelled at me that they weren't open yet. :( i had dishi go in and ask when they were going to open, and they told him some time next week. so we went to fraiche to get our yogurt fix.

after that, we parted ways, and i went home and took an hour nap. and then, i watched the kentucky derby. big brown was amazing. i turned my tv off right after the finish, so i didn't know about the euthanizing of eight belles. how sad. :(

i called up some friends to see if they wanted to watch _harold and kumar_ with me, but no one wanted to, so i just went and saw it by myself. it was funny in parts, and i appreciated the female nudity, but it wasn't as good as the first one.

after the movie, i rushed over to menlo park to have the gombei dinner with some taiko peeps. it was sort of a fiasco because we had a party of 7, but only 4 showed up. also, the curry was watery and diluted, and it didn't taste very good. oh well.

after dinner, it was time for the stanford taiko spring concert. the songs were in much better shape than last week, but there were THREE dropped bachi (drum sticks). how horrible. i buried my face in my hands when it happened each time, and the last one (during the finale piece) was just tragic. the guy kept playing until the end, and it was so noticeable that he was playing with only one bachi. ugh.

i stuck around for the reception for a little bit, and then i jetted off to paul's place for paul and mikeC's birthday party. some people had already left by the time i got there (around 11pm), and when i arrived, people decided to do a tequila shot. i guess they were waiting for me to drink. so we had a shot of patron silver. i wanted to drink some more, but i guess one shot was enough for everybody. people played mario kart, a gift from leeya to paul, and paul put on last year's victoria's secret fashion show, which quieted the guys (who must have been mesmerized by the scantily clad women) and perked up the girls (who proceeded to gawk at the girl's emaciated bodies). and then most of us left afterwards.

sunday, i set my alarm for 10am, but got out of bed around 10:45. i called up hr girl, and we met at hong kong flower lounge in millbrae at 12:15. the line was ridiculous, but by the time she actually arrived, we got a table relatively quickly. it was great to see her; the last time we saw each other was like two years ago. she said i lost weight, and i thought she still looked hot. we had a good time catching up, and i went through her wedding pictures. man, she has a great booty, as accentuated by her skin-tight wedding dress.

after i got home, i turned on the lakers/jazz game, but i passed out for two hours and didn't see the ending. then, i just watched some movies on tv until dinner. one of them was _the mask of zorro_. you know, i think catherine zeta jones is empirically beautiful, but i am just not attracted to her.

for dinner, greg, nelson and mikeC met up at los charros, where i introduced greg to their super carnitas wet burrito. at the same time, the dallas stars and the san jose sharks were playing game 6 (greg's a fan of the sharks), so when we left, they were in overtime, and greg and i rushed back to our respective homes and watched. it was nuts. they played FOUR overtime periods. after the third one, i called up greg, and i complained to him that i was bored, and i was going to bed. while brushing my teeth, i heard that the sharks were in a penalty, so i figured that the stars might score a power play goal, and they did. *phew* and the game was over. i hope greg's not too bummed.

and that was it. saturday was awesome. and i'm really happy that i saw two old friends that i haven't met up with in a long time.

damn. i really wanted to see _made of honor_ get good reviews, but so far, it got 1.5/4 stars in the mercury news and 12% on rottentomatoes.com. ouch. when i saw the previews, it look kind of charming, even though it was pretty much the exact same plot as _my best friend's wedding_, only with the gender roles reversed. but i really enjoyed MBFW, so i figured i'd like this movie, too.

i've dated my best friend before. it was awesome. we were best friends before we hooked up, so it was actually kind of torturous, that whole period where we both really liked each other but didn't if the other one reciprocated the emotion. but when we finally got together, it was amazing. i don't know if that'll ever happen to me again. (but maybe it's a good thing, because it puts a lot of pressure on the relationship.)

i've got a busy day tomorrow. brunch with sonya (who i haven't seen in years), a possible red mango expedition in the afternoon, a gombei outing for dinner, a taiko concert at 8 at stanford (you should come; it's at dinkelspiel auditorium), and paul and mikeC's birthday party afterwards. i'm gonna be exhausted, i think. yet, i am really looking forward to all those events. it's gonna be fun. and sunday, i think hr girl and i are finally going to be able to meet up; i haven't seen her in like two years!

i might have shit in my pants today. i'm not sure. i farted in my cube, and then i felt something weird between my ass cheeks. i did some more work in my cube, and when i shifted my butt in my seat, i felt some more strangeness. so i finally rushed over into the bathroom, got in a stall, and wiped my ass. i didn't look at the toilet paper, though, so i don't actually know if i leaked anything out.

i've realized that i have more responsibilities at work that i can handle. since a lot of people left, i'm taking care of a lot of old blocks and legacy knowledge. some apps people came by with questions, and i didn't have a clue how to answer them. and then, i got slapped with some debugging requests for a block that i'm taking care of, but i don't know how it works. this kind of stuff really makes me feel inadequate and helpless. i need to bone up and study all these things that i've inherited; it's definitely one thing i need to get a grasp of to improve my importance in this company.

so last night, i saw the nambla episode of _south park_. wow. nambla. i've known about their existence before, but today, i went to their website and read a little bit of their literature. they're really serious about having sex with boys! i couldn't believe it. how can they claim that these relationships are consentual? little kids don't understand what the hell they're doing! that's pretty messed up.

i don't remember what it is that i wanted to do to the girls i liked before i knew what sex was. maybe it was just hugging and kissing? *ponder* i mean, my first crush was when i was like 4 years old, on this girl named kathy. she had a twin sister named kay, but i definitely thought kathy was cuter. what's really funny and odd is that much later on in my life, i saw a picture of the two of them, and they looked identical to me. so yeah, i started liking girls really early on; i never thought they had cooties or anything. but i never wanted to "do" them until i knew about sex, so i forget what sort of physical things i wanted to do.

in sixth grade, i made a computerized database (programmed in BASIC) of all the couples and rumored couples and wishlist couples (like me and the girl i liked). it didn't just list names; it also had some crude comments, like "bill wants to have a dick connection with mary." i made it password protected and everything, and i only showed it to my closest friends. somehow, word got out about it, and i became famous in school for having this "secret couples list." hehe. it was like major gossip and everything.

my crush in late elementary school was this girl named brooke. it started in 4th grade and continued all the way through until i graduated 6th grade. she wore these glasses that magnified her eyes to a ridiculous degree. so yeah, my eyeglass fetish started with her, and it goes strong to this very day, haha. i remember in 4th grade, we all gave each other valentine's cards, and i wrote with painstakingly perfect handwriting "to: brook" on her card. yes, i spelled her name wrong. how fucking embarrassing. i must not have been very popular in elementary school, because i got a lot of cards that had "i don't mean this" scribbled next to the "i'm gushing over you!" or "my heart is bubbling!" or other generic valentine greeting.

ah, valentine's. i hate v-day. never was a fan of the holiday. i don't know why women put so much pressure on their men on 2/14. it's just a random date in the year, you know? just because i said i didn't think this day was special and i wasn't going to do anything special, i've had a razor thrown at me (while i was naked and vulnerable), and i've had the girl chew me out (loudly) in the middle of a quiet restaurant. ugh.

i think it's time to cut my toenails. yesterday, when i took off my shoe, i noticed a red blotch on my sock. i didn't think too much of it until i took off that sock, and i realized that blotch was a blood stain. apparently, my toenail had cut a hole in the neighboring toe, which i found curious because i didn't feel it when it happened. hm. well, yeah. time to trim those suckers down.

ok. time to get ready to leave. a few e-mails to write, and i'm off. a (hopefully) fun weekend awaits!