hey people. i'm still mopey today. yeah, it's the k3 thing. this whole deal has caught me quite off guard. i mean, i thought i was well over her, but ever since saturday night, i've been missing (and wanting) her pretty badly. damn you, sarah! i reiterate that music has some very powerful qualities. i guess you could say that she was the one who got away. if you followed my old geocities journal back in october of 2001, you'll know that i fucked up our friendship after our NYC trip. and who knows what could have happened between us, but it's all pretty much moot now. *sigh* but i have to tell you, if i found out that she's engaged or married now, i'd be pretty devastated. and that goes to show you that i am really not over her.
anyways, on to other things. i took a dump this afternoon on the first floor, and i noticed that the door to the stall next to me was closed. however, i looked down, and i saw no feet on the ground. yet, i heard farting and shitting noises, and i noticed that there was the shadow of a pair of clasped hands on the ground. so wtf? how could there be NO FEET? was the guy sitting cross-legged on the toilet? really? there was no way he was a paraplegic, because i was the one in the handicapped stall, and there was no room for a wheelchair in his small stall. hm. i am completely and utterly perplexed by this. ???
i finished coding today. yes, even with my mind distracted by my crippled emotional state, i was able to focus for a few hours and get my work done. which is quite remarkable, i have to say. it was actually sort of nice to escape from my "issues" for a while and get down and dirty to do some verilog coding. so anyways, now i have to get the code to compile and start the verification. that's the part that i'm not so interested in doing. there are many stages of being a VLSI engineer, and the only fun parts of the process (to me, anyway) are the architecture and coding phases. well, you gotta do that you gotta do.
well, my mom is going to stay with me for THREE weeks: mid-august to the first week of september. she originally wanted to stay a whole month, but i counter-offered with two weeks, and we compromised to three weeks. uh oh. what the hell am i going to do? she only stayed with me for one week a few months ago, and i almost exploded/died. how the hell am i going to handle three weeks? i mean, on the 2nd or 3rd day, things got so bad that i had to escape to paul's house for a few hours. man. it's going to be rough. yes, i love my mom, but i can only take her in small doses. and living with her is a whole other matter. needless to say, i am dreading it like the plague.
before getting dinner last night, i watched a part of _sin city_ on MTV. i waited until the carla gugino topless scene before i left for taco bell. of course, they cut it out, which i was bummed (but not surprised) to find out. man, she has some nice juicy tasty breasts (and a ripe munchable ass to boot). before i saw this movie, i had seen her in other shows, but i had no idea she could be so sexy. sometimes you have you idea who has a nice body underneath all those clothes.
i'm IM'ing amyM right now (the one who lives in HK). luckily, she's an early riser, so i get to talk to her while i'm still at work. :) she just reminded me of this thing that k1 wrote me in a letter after we broke up. she signed off her letter saying: "from a secret admirer who should have never kissed you." that blew me up. i was SO pissed off about that line, because that basically meant that she regretted going out with me. and i am (or, at least, i try to be) a big "no regrets" kind of guy. and going out with k1 was one of the greatest things to happen in my life. i just won't let anybody take that away from me.
i will never understand some of my coworkers. some of them don't flush the toilet/urinal after they use it, some of them don't wash their hands after taking a shit/piss, and now, after i just took a piss, some of them don't turn off the faucet after washing their hands. WTF?! how brainless and rude and wasteful of them. it just steams me.
poor R. remember him from basketball last thursday and how i helped him to his car after his injury? it turns out that he has a dislocated ankle and a torn ligament somewhere. man. how horrible is that? i visited him in his cubicle today, and he's in a lot of pain. and on crutches. he'll be out of commission for at least a few months, no doubt. it makes me scared to play basketball, honestly speaking. or at least i'll be hesitant to drive into the lane, and instead stay outside and just shoot. man, what a vicious sport.
ok, i've been IM'ing amy for almost an hour now. i love her. she's so fun to talk to. i hope that she'll still be around when biz school starts next month. anyways, i'm off for a smoke now. bye!
friday night, since all of the bowling gang had gone to tahoe for camping, my usual dinner companions were gone. so i had dinner with D at corner place. i wanted to drag him to see _step brothers_, but he would have none of it. our last will ferrell movie was _semi-pro_, and that was pretty bad, so he was unwilling to see another one of his movies, hehe.
saturday, i had the same problem finding people to eat lunch with, but luckily, jeffrey and his wife were making lasagna, so he invited me over. i got to see his place in palo alto, right next to 101 (off of oregon expressway). we did a shot of milagro tequila, which was surprisingly smooth. i had an empty stomach, so it made me just a little lightheaded, and jeffrey, being a lightweight, was moreso affected. the lasagna was good, and we watched two episodes of bobby flay's _throwdown_ (chili relleno and texas-style chili) before i left.
then, it was off to jay and margaret's place for their baby shower. ah, it was nice to see the stanford gang again. we played games: (guess the microwaved chocolate bar "poo" in the diaper: i only got the reese's peanut butter cup, and ting got 4/5, rolo's was very difficult, and guess the unlabelled baby food: jack was the only to guess "beef and vegetables", guess when the baby's due date, etc.). there was a cake (which i took a picture of with my phone, maybe i'll upload it later), and we were supposed to guess what the shape of it was, and those who were parents instantly got that it was a onesy, but i was befuddled and eventually asked if it was the shape of a uterus: WRONG, haha.
overall, it was a good time, and i left around 9:30. and when i got home, i started checking my e-mail, and i went to my iTunes and started playing some sarah mclachlan, and that's when some of my long lost emotions for k3 started coming back, especially when i played sarah's "full of grace" song. it was really weird. that's when i wrote the previous blog post. i even knew what track number "full of grace" was (track #9 on sarah's _surfacing_ album), because i have vivid memories of k3 popping in the cd and fast-forwarding to 9 on my car's stereo. it was like i was transported back in time to when i was in love with her again. after i published my blog post, i wrote her an e-mail wishing her well (she's in china teaching HIV medicine, coming back in september), before i went to bed, i went to my answering machine and played back the only saved voice message: a message from k3 from back in 2001, when she thanked me for sending her a tare panda that i bought from japan. it was very weird hearing her voice again.
jack's hypothesis the next day is that the baby shower made me emotionally weak and yearn for a relationship. thusly, he called me a girl. hehe.
anyways, sunday, i had lunch with jimmy and sabrina at the wahoo's fish taco in santana row. after i ate my usual spicy chicken quesadilla, i got a stomachache, so i took a dump in the restroom. it was mostly liquid. then, i headed over to their new house, which was under MASSIVE renovation. they were extending the entire front of their house by several feet, which is no small feat.
then, i went home, watched part of the red sox/yankees game (the red sox won. yay!), took a nap, talked to dave and carolyn for 25 minutes, and watched some more tv. i grabbed some taco bell (only 2 items this time) for dinner, and then met up with some of the camping folk at tap ex for a nightcap. and that was it.