so last night, i tried not taking seroquel, which i use as a sleep aid medicine. when i take it, i fall asleep within like 15 minutes of hitting the sack. however, last night, i was wide awake through a full hour of _sportscenter_, and half an hour of the subsequent _final score_ on csn. it was ridiculous. so finally, at 12:30am, i got up and took my usual 100mg of seroquel, and within 20 minutes, i conked out. shit. am i really dependent on this drug? i'm going to continue taking it until the weather gets cooler, and then i'm going to see if i can fall asleep without this drug. ugh. i hate the idea that i'm dependent on a med. or maybe i do have chronic insomnia.
i talked to my mom last night for 20 minutes. there were times i had to tune her out; the worst was when she told me that she had been praying for me to find a nice church girl to get married to. she said that no two people were perfectly compatible, but if they were in a relationship in the eyes of god, then they could pray together and be more "harmonious." ugh. a religious girl is specifically somebody that i *don't* want to be with, so this is all very frustrating and uncomfortable for me to hear from my mom.
did anybody watch the katee and joshua's bollywood dance from _sytycd_ last night? i thought it was pretty rad. my college friend kate's mom was actually katee's teacher in junior high or high school (katee grew up in san jose), so that's sort of neat. anyways, i'm hoping comfort goes tonight; her time is up on this show, and i wouldn't care to see her on the tour. as for the guys, i don't really like smiley thayne.
so i tried wiping backwards again today. and once again, my hand froze initially, but this time, i lightened up my grip and was able to move my hand back very lightly. hm. i'm not sure how successful this change is going to be. i should just be glad that i'm not a girl and wipe forwards and not worry about getting a severe vaginal infection. i mean, i've gotten blowjobs before and never had the girl complain about smelling anything funky near my chode. (but then again, i've never gotten deep-throated, so the girl's mouth never got near that area.)
work is getting a little crazy. there's all these issues and customer demands popping up that we don't support, and i'm getting a frazzled. i'm basically the only one supporting our old designs, and i know my boss is counting on me to do a lot of the code changes. ugh. i don't like the position i'm in. i mean, i know i'm important, but it's a lot of pressure. like today, during our weekly meeting, my boss said, "thank goodness we have dardy." hm. if i were evil, i'd threaten to leave and demand a huge salary increase to stay. but of course, i don't have the balls to do that.
one of my cubicle neighbors makes smoothies for breakfast. however, these aren't the regular tasty fruity smoothies; i asked him today what his ingredients were, and he said: tomatoes, cucumbers, and beets. !! that sounds disgusting. he said it wasn't that bad, but i can't imagine it tasting any good. especially the beets part. i've only had beets once, and i didn't like them. i heard that they give you pink urine.
at work, i'm on the third floor. sometimes, i can feel the ground shake for like 1-2 seconds. are these mini-earthquakes? i can't imagine what else would cause the entire floor to bounce around like that. it's sort of freaky. i can feel them especially when i take my post-lunch food coma naps. speaking of those, i had a pad kee mao at dusita today (which i was disappointed with), and all those noodles made me very sleepy yet again. so of course, i came back to the office all drowsy and stuff. yes, like i said, one of these days, i'm going to have a steak and nothing else and see if a protein-only lunch will keep me from getting food coma.
so i am wondering, backstage during events that require a lot of quick costume changes (like _sytycd_, or victoria's secret fashion shows), do the dancers and models get to see each other naked? i wouldn't be surprised about the lingerie shows, but for something like _sytycd_, some of the girls' outfits are pretty risque. and on elimination nights, they are in costume during the opening number, and then, after only a few minutes, the first few couples come out in completely different outfits. i would be surprised if each dancer had his or her own private dressing room.
with the rising price of gas, more and more of my coworkers are riding bicycles and motorcycles to work. today, the verification manager came into my cube to ask me some questions, and i noticed that his laptop had a browser window opened to a picture of a cool-looking chopper bike. it's like $25,000, which defeats the purpose of saving money on gas, but still, it looks cool. i told him that in order to look right while riding it, he needs to grow a moustache. :)
my skin scars easily. i hate it. like those two cuts that i got from basketball the other week have left semi-permanent marks on my arm and hand. i have to be very careful not to get injured. and i've been dealing with this really hard lump/zit on my forehead for the past two weeks, and now, it's finally shrinking (believe me, i tried to pop it, but it just wouldn't give). but it's become this dark blog on my forehead, and it's just so damn ugly. i bet it will stay there for at least a year. shit. (k1 thought it was poetic and symbolic that my physical scars took a long time to heal and disappear. ah, those were the days, when things had more meaning back then.)
ok. i'm itching for a smoke now. my boss just came by to bum a cigarette off of me. a lot of people at work do that; what am i, the supplier of the nicotine fix?
oh, by the way, one more thing. i took a leak yesterday at work when i had a half-boner (i have no idea why i was semi-aroused at the office), and my pee streak split in two; one part, the smaller stream, went vertically down, and the rest of it went straight. very odd. i don't usually take a leak when i've got a stiffy, so i was very intrigued. just thought i'd share that with y'all.