i feel bad. my boss got mad at me today. he was frustrated that our testing was in bad shape, and he was upset that i wasn't helping out. the thing is, though, that the guy who was doing the testing didn't ask me for help, so my boss was acting mainly out of desperation and frustration. still, i got upset that he sort of yelled at me. i don't like underperforming, although really, it wasn't my fault that i did anything wrong. :(
it's been a long day. i was sort of idling during lunch, waiting for D to get out of a meeting, but even at 2pm, he didn't get out, so i just went to mcd's by myself. i got a mcChicken and a filet o' fish. two deep-fried items. i felt sick after eating them, so that didn't help my mood at all. after that, i started debugging my AC tests, and it was very painful. so all in all, i've had sort of a shitty day. i can't wait to get out of here and just go home and sulk. a phone call from a friend would be nice. maybe i'll call up emi or amyM.
man, david cook was awesome last night (on _american idol_). i texted jay saying how good he was, and jay wrote back saying he watched his performance four times. (ah, to have tivo.) during a commercial break of _hell's kitchen_, i tried voting for him, but the line was jammed. damn. that must mean a lot people were voting for him. so in the meantime, i voted for kristy lee cook three times. i think she's going to get booted off tonight. *sigh* it's her time to go, but damn, she's got the perfect face. hottie!
a lot of people here at work have bad digestive systems. often, when i'm in the bathroom, i can hear other coworkers with crackly, bubbly dumps. it makes me feel a little bit better because i realize i'm not the only one with GI problems, but then again, i feel bad because i fear for their general health. one of my very old coworkers (at my first company right out of college) had serious health problems, and he had to be limited to a very strict diet because of his GI issues.
i dropped below 170lbs yesterday (morning weight, naked). yay! i've been eating less, although i have failed in my consumption of one dr pepper per day. i've noticed that my gut has gotten a little smaller, too, so that's good news. let's see if i can keep this up. i usually gain back a little weight on weekends because i have two solid meals during those days.
i was telling zz last night that i like to document history. like, keeping journals and stuff. i first started keeping a journal my freshman year in college. it was spurred by the fact that i started liking k1, and i wanted to write down all the feelings and things that i was going through. so i started writing in microsoft word every night, and the sum total of the journal that year was more than a megabyte. subsequent years, i kept written journals, and then i stopped for a few years.
i used to have archives of all the e-mails i sent and received throughout college, and i stored them all on this website that offered free storage. unfortunately, they started asking me to pay, so i downloaded them onto my work computer at V. unfortunately, the day i got laid off, i forgot to make a copy of them, so i lost them all. :( so all i have now is a hardcopy of my freshman year's e-mails, in two thick binders (one for received, one for sent). it'll be a trip when i sit down and sift through them someday.
but yeah, i like documenting. when i first met one of my ex's, before we started dating, we would meet at midnight at random places on campus, and i taught her how to smoke cigarettes. so once we started going out, i got a map of stanford campus, and i marked the map with the locations and dates of all the places where we first met up for those smoking "dates." i thought that was cool. i like doing things like that.
i hate the fact that there are parts of my life that i don't remember. i wish i had kept a journal my entire life, so i can remember what i did and what i was thinking all these years. that's one of the biggest reasons why i blog now.
when you dream, do you have certain recurring locations that only exist in your dream world? i do. it's pretty neat. like, i have dream-only versions of harvard campus, the company faroudja (how random is that? i've never even worked there or been inside their building), some outskirts of stanford, the city of boston, and other places. it's amazing what the mind can concoct.
ok, it's time for me to go. i just want to veg out tonight.