i'm writing this early today because i'm leaving early to brave rush hour traffic to watch the warriors/sonics game. jack got 3rd row tickets! yeah, the sonics suck, but with the parity in the NBA, you never know which team will get hot and make it a close contest. i'm riding BART on my own, so i'm a little nervous. hopefully it'll be an uneventful trip up to oakland. oakland scares me. i made sure i'm not wearing any gang colors, although my sweatshirt is (navy) blue.
basketball was bad today. i missed all but one of my jumpers. i was just cold from the perimeter. but still, i got there ahead of time in hopes of joining the early games, but the guys from the company N didn't show up, so we wound up waiting a long time for enough people to start a game. still, i got some good exercise, and now i have a dehydration headache. it's gonna be a late night for me; after i get back from the warriors game, i'm gonna watch the tape of tonight's _american idol_. can't miss it! (OCD, you know)
man, last night's _the moment of truth_ was really fucked up. the contestant was this girl, lauren, and she basically destroyed her marriage for money. she admitted to being in love with someone else on her wedding day, to believing that she should be married to her ex-boyfriend, and to having had sex with other men besides her husband. and to top it all off, she fucked up on her last question and lost the $100K that she had won, so she did it all for naught. crazy! of course, i lapped it all up in voyeuristic glee.
so antidepressants. basically, after my suicidal spell, i got put on effexor XR (extended release). once the drug kicked in, i was just really happy, so happy that i couldn't even sleep because i was excited about the next day. it was ridiculous. however, i didn't stay on it for long because one of the side effects made me unable to have an orgasm, which really bothered me. but yeah, drugs are amazing things. especially the ones that alter brain chemistry.
today is alexandra's (of technicolor.org fame) birthday. i really miss her blog. she was a brilliant writer, but she hasn't blogged any substantial in well over a year. she's in college now, so i can't blame her for leaving her blog by the wayside. college changes you because there's so much other (more important) stuff going on. when i first started school, i had two penpals and a girl that i liked back home, but i soon forgot about them when i delved into college life. i guess it was just inevitable. i wish the best for alex, and i can only hope she's doing great things with her wonderful imagination and gift for writing.
i got a google hit from a phrase that went something like "pearl necklace insertion in ass." haha! it reminds me of benwa balls or whatever they're called. do those really feel that good? i've never inserted anything in my ass before. one of my ex's tried to put her finger in my ass, and i stopped her because i thought it was dirty. but in another romp session, i did the same to her, and i went way into her sphincter, and she really enjoyed it. i mean, i went in so deep that i think i felt a piece of a turd up there. i kind of got grossed out. i dunno. anal sex play just doesn't turn me on. but i hear that there are a ton of nerve endings in the anus, so maybe i should keep an open mind about that. but if that's true, then how come taking dumps doesn't feel spectacular?
i found a pube on my desk today while i was eating lunch in my cubicle. i figure it's gotta be mine (although it's a little short), but the question is, how did it get there? i don't scratch my pubic region at work, so now i'm a little perplexed. hm.
have you ever watched a sex scene in a movie with your parents? isn't it uncomfortable? when i was a kid, i remember running away whenever the topic of sex came up on the television. like, i would literally run away and hide behind the couch. i wonder what my parents thought of that. one interesting thing, though: one time, i was walking through the game room, and my dad was showing my mom a scene from _body double_, and he told me to stop in my tracks and not look at the tv. i have never seen that movie, so all this time, i've been curious as to what was on the television. i have heard that the movie has some adult content.
i'm not sure how i will educate my own kids about sex. i know that they'll learn stuff in school and from their friends. (for example, i learned about intercourse from my friends, and i first saw a naked girl in a magazine during a sleepover.) but how will i react if i find porn on my kid's computer? (my mom caught me looking at porn once, and she made me delete all the files. i promptly un-deleted the stuff using norton utilities. ah, norton utilities.) what will i tell them when they start dating? if i caught them in bed with their significant other? man, parenting brings up a ton of questions.
in some ways, it's good that i only started dating and having sex in college. that way, i avoided all the tangles and snags with my parents. i can't imagine what the hell my parents would have done if they had caught me doing "stuff" in high school. i vaguely remember my dad telling me he wanted to have a "talk" to me when i was in college one summer, but he never sat me down to do it. i guess he just decided that i would figure it out on my own. and after i graduated and turned 21, they just completely let go, which i am very grateful for. still, though, my mom gets a little judgmental when i tell her that i'm staying over at a girl's place when i visit her. (not a girlfriend, but a female friend when i'm travelling or something like that.)
i'm getting excited for jimmy and sabrina's wedding in mid-march. the only potential snag is that it might coincide with a stanford men's basketball game in the tournament, assuming we make it that far. but yeah, part-ay! it's on a sunday, though, so i can't push it too hard. and another thing, i hope it doesn't rain. but yeah, good times to be had.
ok, i'm leaving in a short bit. go warriors!