actually, eating on the toilet wasn't so bad. no, the food didn't taste like shit, and i don't recall it smelling like shit either. it was sort of peaceful; it was just me by myself, in the stall, enjoying a meal in solitude. very relaxing. luckily, i didn't sit there too long so my legs didn't fall asleep. i used to read entire beverly cleary books on the john, and my legs would go numb, and i had problems trying to stand up afterwards. ha!
but anyways, if i remember correctly, i think i had to go to the bathroom because i was lactose intolerant at the time. the summer before my sophomore year, i didn't have any milk. so when i started eating cereal again when school started, i got the runs. yes, i built the tolerance back up. it was painful, but over time, i was able to do it. and that was when i used to drink whole milk. ah, whole milk. taste good! have you ever had "extra rich" milk? that stuff tastes even better, but the problem with it is that it goes bad in like a week.
so you can't catch STD's by swallowing a mouthful of spunk? i would figure that was a direct transfer of bodily fluids, no? to be honest, i never really understood the sexual allure of popping all over a girl's face. where's the turn on in that? is it the demeaning quality? *ponder*
i had a massive firehose of diarrhea today. after lunch, my stomach felt queasy, so i went to the bathroom. and my ass just opened up and let out a steady stream of gunk for like 8 straight seconds. it looked *really* disgusting, like someone dumped a big bucketful of mud into the toilet. if it had been at home, i bet it would have taken at least three flushes to get all the way down, leaving multiple skidmarks. *eww* luckily, the toilets at work are very powerful. i don't understand what caused it; all i had yesterday to eat was a sausage breakfast jack and a subway sandwich.
i spent a good 10-15 minutes research the rumors of pinkberry opening up a shop at the stanford mall. so far, it's inconclusive. i haven't been to the stanford shopping center in well over a year, but i would definitely go there more often if there was a pinkberry there. but then again, yogurt fantasy is way closer (1.3 miles away as opposed to 6+ miles), and it's a sufficient replacement, so maybe not. man, i am so addicted to frozen yogurt/mochi!
i had an apple fritter from starbucks the other night. i love apple fritters. i used to get them in college at tresidder union, but i could only eat half of them. there was so much frosting on them that i would get a sugar high headache. i bet this stuff is so bad for you; they're basically fried dough, right?
man. another two hours of _american idol_ tonight. last night's episode (top 12 guys) was rather boring. some of the guys were completely forgettable. i really don't understand why the judges love david archuleta. he's just an average singer, and i don't think he has any charisma. yet, the judges are totally jizzing over him. the only performance that i thought was any good was that bandana-headed rocker robbie guy. i hope the girls put on a better show tonight. i am slated to go to the warriors/sonics game next tuesday (3rd row tickets!), so i'm going to record the show and watch it after i come back. it's gonna be a late night for me.
i have a weird suspicion that someone came into my house. i noticed that two things got moved: two magazines in my kitchen, and my stack of toilet paper in the downstairs bathroom. it's really spooky and scary. like, i was sitting there, taking a shit, and i noticed that the toilet paper wasn't where i left it. so who the hell moved it? i'm going to e-mail my property manager and see if it was her. if it wasn't, then i'm going to get really worried.
i got to work a little early today to snag a garlic bagel, but there was only half of one left, the bottom half. *RAAR* who the hell cuts a bagel in half and only takes the top half? that's just rude and mean. i was bummed out as well as pissed off. so i just ate a plain bagel with cream cheese (as i learned last week, i gotta have cream cheese). no guava burps for me.
i really hope it doesn't rain saturday night, during my company's boat party. i'm looking forward to getting out on the deck and enjoying the view, and of course, i'm looking forward to smoking outside as well. man, this will be my very first voluntary company function; i hope it's enjoyable. i'll try not to get drunk, but if it's boring, i can't promise you anything. maybe i'll meet T, the wife of one my coworkers here; she was one of the women who was on the italy leg of my european vacation back in 2004. no, i am not bringing a date; i would not subject her to boring company chitchat.
i am not hungry yet. i think i should eat less, i.e. go on a diet. i'm hitting 175 (naked weight), and my poodge is starting to bug me. when i was in college, i had really well-defined abs, probably because i had no body fat, not because i was buff or anything. but now, i have a gut. ick. shit, i gotta see which suit i should wear got jimmy and sabrina's wedding next month; i bet i can't fit into my college suit anymore. and my other suit was bought when i was really fat, so i'm somewhere in the middle now.
ok, 6:30. time to go home. let's hope the girls sing better than the guys tonight!