man, i just got out of a 2-hour divisional meeting. *snores* at the end of it, they handed out awards to the engineers who performed beyond expectations. as usual, i didn't get one. *laughs* it's by choice, though. i'm ok with the fact that i'm not longer a "stellar" engineer. i do my job, no more, no less. i'm not going to bust my ass and have another nervous breakdown, like what happened to me years back.
what's the award, you ask? it's a coupon for a dinner, reimbursable for up to $150. man, times have changed. back at vivace, during the dot com boom, the employee award was $1000, after tax. not THAT's something that i would work for! and back then, an employee referral at V was $10K, after tax, too. holy shit!
today was a landmark of sorts. i completed my second new year's resolution of 2007. i got up early, got myself psyched up (with a cigarette, of course), and did it. it didn't go as planned, but i'm not terribly bummed out, which is a good thing. i finally got it off my chest, and now i can move on with my life. it's been hanging over my head for over nine months (since 9/23/06, in fact), so i'm glad it's finally over. yes, i am being vague on purpose. and thanks to alan and peter for the cheerleading.
one of the things i'm most amazed about is how my sphincter can tell the difference between gas and solid (or in my case these days, pseudo-solid). like, when i wake up in the morning, i know i have semi-liquid dumps right at the gate, yet i sometimes am able to squeeze out a fart without shitting all over myself. i find that to be absolutely fantabulous. how does it know? how does it do that? the ass never ceases to amaze me.
one of the best and worst things is to be romantically interested in a friend. if it works, it's one of the most wonderful things in the world, but if it doesn't, it can be torture. have you guys ever read the ladder theory? it sucks, to be put on the friends ladder, unable to make the crossing. but yeah, it's a tough situation. i've been put on the friends ladder before, and it took me a while for me to get over the heartache it caused. like i said, i listened to a lot of sarah mclachlan. that song "do what you have to do" is just great wallowing music. :)
remember when i said that i don't like mixing circles of friends? that was brought up because i was thinking about throwing another party at my place (and yes, of course, i would make jell-o shots). however, i would probably invite four groups of people: the bowling gang, the taiko peeps, my stanford crowd, and my online friends. however, i am fairly certain that those four groups of people would probably not mix at all (except for a few). ah, a host's nightmare! maybe some would say that i shouldn't give a shit and just have a good time myself, but i don't like seeing clumps of people scattered about, not mingling at all.
ok, time to go have my final work smoke of the day. man, these headaches are killing me. but anyways, have a GREAT weekend!