wassup, people. not much going on today. i'm still getting headaches, and it's really bothering me now. i just took some tylenol (washed down with some dr pepper), so i'm waiting for it to take effect.
i don't have any subject matter today, so let's talk about the chase. i love the chase. actually, let me change that. i both love and hate the chase. it's a tortuous road, a roller coaster of emotion, and i get off on the pain that it causes me. and in the end, if i get the girl, then i look back and smile and say, "damn, that was good." (and if i don't get the girl, then i wallow for a while, listen to a ton of sarah mclachlan, and it takes a while before i finally laugh about it all.)
some people (like mikeT) would totally disagree with me. but i like working, even struggling, for love. it makes the end result more gratifying, like i actually went through this gauntlet and achieved something, you know? take k1, for example. we both went through this 3-month courtship (from halloween night to the following mid-february) where we both liked each other to the night that we finally got together (thanks to some alcohol, hehe :). things got so pent up within our hearts that when we finally hooked up, all this passion burst into flames, thus starting our fiery relationship. (but then again, we were young and immature, and we just couldn't keep that fire going, and we fizzled out after over a year.)
but yeah, those 3 months nearly killed me. i went through so many mood swings, listened to so much nine inch nails ("something i can never have" was the song), and i called the prospect of her "the big thing." but when we finally got together, let me tell you, it was pretty fucking amazing. like fireworks exploding, cannons going off.
and then there was k2. the chase for her took about 2 months. but chasing her was a lot more laid back because unlike k1, who lived in my dorm (right down the hall in fact) and who i saw every day, k2 and i saw each other much less frequently. we would set up meetings every few nights at random locations to have cigarette breaks (i taught her how to smoke). but the twist here was that she was actually sort of dating this other guy, so that added some drama for me. in the end, i guess you could say that i "stole" her away from the other dude.
the main difference between the two girls was that i became good friends with k1 first, whereas k2 and i just sort of went out and did stuff together (i.e. smoke) right off the bat. and as you know, it can get pretty complicated when you decide you want to date a friend. there's that whole ambiguity of "does she want to be more than friends?" as well as "do i want to risk ruining the friendship?"
but anyways, now that i'm older, i'm not sure how i feel about the chase. in the past few years, i've dated here and there, and most of them have been one and outs. and in those cases, most of them have not involved any chase at all; i just asked the girl if the wanted to go out, and they said yes. and one major exception was k4, who i was gaga over, but who eventually turned out to be a bust after we went out a handful of times. i think that at in my stage in life, i'm just tired of it; i don't feel like i have time nor the patience to pursue someone for an extended period of life unless they're really worth it.
but yeah, something about the chase still seems magical...