hey people. i'm tired. not from insomnia, though. i slept pretty well last night. i just hate getting up in the mornings for work. sigh. when it gets light out, i'm a pretty light sleeper, so the slightest noise wakes me up.
so i like the nba conference championship series. there's a game every night, and they've been pretty good games. i'm going to miss the nba season when it ends, though, because that means there will be nothing to watch on tv. as much as i feel like i've been freed from television prison, i miss having shows to watch on weeknights.
i scheduled a massage for tomorrow. the way my tics are going, my neck and shoulders need a lot of repairing, so i'm going in once every two weeks. i know i'm going to be arthritic way early in my life, with all this snapping of my neck. ick, tourette's.
so i don't get how circumcised men masturbate. i mean, there's no foreskin to work with, so do they just run their hands over the head directly? doesn't that chafe after a while? or is that the reason why they use lube? *ponder* me, i'm blessed that my parents didn't choose to chop off my penishood. i feel special.
i'm sort of worried about the next time i have sex (if and when that ever happens). i don't think i'll last very long. even now, when i flush the pipes, if i'm watching porn while doing it, i can go only a few minutes without blowing my wad. and real sex is way more exciting than porn, so yeah, i'm afraid it'll be a shorting outing. i'll definitely need more practice with the girl to get my powers of control down.
yeah, powers of control. i remember getting close to climax when having sex, and i knew the girl wasn't done yet, so i would try to add big numbers in my head. i know the cliche is to think about baseball, but i never tried that. ah, good times.
ok. i know this is a short entry, but i'm spent. i just spent the last 25 minutes or so debugging this frustrating test that i wrote. bye!
hey people. i have a headache. my tics now include some smashing of my chin into my right shoulder, and the jarring is making my head hurt. man, i hope i don't give myself a concussion. :(
i really needed the long weekend. i can tell that it helped me relax a bit, as my tics yesterday weren't as bad as they were last week. but still, they're painful. sigh. tourette's blows.
so i'm kind of bummed about this summer. some of my friends are leaving the bay area. jay and margaret are packing up to move to alabama for a year, and who knows if they'll ever return here. (jay's doing a one-year stint for a facial plastics doctor.) and also, jan is also packing up to move to seattle where she and her husband will both be professors. i hate goodbye's.
i e-mailed k3 last night to wish her a happy belated birthday, and she wrote back. i was happy to see a short response today. it's been years since i've been in contact with her, mostly due to my fault by mentioning some private things about her in my old geocities journal. i am forever ashamed of committing such a mistake, and i hope that we can be friends now. she just turned 30, and she mentioned some big changes in her life. i wonder if that includes finding a man, which would make me very jealous. i still have feelings for her, i'm pretty sure.
i got my first ride in a pickup truck today. C's infiniti G35 is in the shop down in LA, so he drove up over the weekend in his old truck. i've never been in a truck before, so i didn't know what to expect. the ride was pretty smooth, and there was plenty of legroom. i don't know why i thought trucks were cramped, but this one wasn't.
can a lactating woman produce infinite amounts of breast milk, sort of like how we can keep producing saliva? it would suck if a woman could run out, because then, what would be baby eat?
you know what i miss? long conversations. i haven't had one in a very long time. sure, i get together with friends over meals and such, but the conversations there are never that deep. it's more social banter. i miss just talking to someone about anything and everything. every weekend, i call up some of my out-of-town friends, but most of them never answer. *sobs*
i had a very bad bout of insomnia last night. i got in bed around 9:30 or so, and i finally fell asleep about three hours later. when it hit midnight (when both sportscenters were done), i finally got up in a huff and went outside for a smoke. (ting was telling me that staying in bed was the worst thing to do.) and after that, i had calmed down enough to let sleep take over. man, i hope this doesn't keep happening to me.
so. suns. mavs. game 4. tonight. *cheer* go mavs! if they win tonight, they'll be up 3-1 and in control of the series. i am worried about them if they make the finals, though, because it looks like they'll be facing the heat. i don't think the mavs have an answer for shaq. (then again, who does?)
ok. that's it for today. it's almost time to go home. bye!
this is just for me; you know my obsessive nature in keeping track of lists.
semifinals:
stevie/becky/patrick/bobby
brenna/heather/david/sway
ayla/kinnik/will/gedeon
finals:
12: stevie wonder - melissa
11: 50's (manilow) - kevin
10: 21st century - lisa
9: country (rogers) - mandisa
8: queen - bucky
7: songbook (stewart) - ace
6 : love songs (bocelli) - kellie
5: birthyear/top 10 - paris
4: elvis - chris
3: 3 choices - elliott
2: 3 songs - katharine
go taylor! :)
hey people. sorry i was MIA on thursday and friday. i was totally swamped at work and stressing out.
thursday night, peter was in town, so four of us hit up hunan chili (on castro) for dinner. the food there in the past was good, but this time, we made the mistake of ordering three dishes, all of which were breaded and deep-fried. we felt sick afterwards.
friday night, we went to maruichi for some ramen. they have a noodle-making machine in the front, and you can see the process they perform to turn a big spool of tough into ramen noodles. pretty neat.
saturday, i had dim sum at dynasty with some other friends. it was cheap (<$15), but then again, we didn't order that much food. afterwards, we hit up ten ren, and then three of us went to mercado to watch the latest x-men movie. it was ok, i guess. i've always loved the x-men stuff, so i guess i have a positive bias. but still, the movie wasn't as good as the first two. afterwards, i just went home and watched the heat/pistons game.
sunday, i headed over to alan and ting's house for a bbq. jay and margaret were also in attendance. i had a double burger (with double cheese, too!), and i was immediately full. i tried to tackle a hot dog on top of that, and i wound up tossing part of the rather large bun. we went to a nearby park after that, and the dog owners let their puppies run wild. puppies are cute.
monday, i went over to nelson's for another bbq. i spent most of my time watching the miami/pistons game. man, miami is up 3-1! i'm sort of rooting for detroit to win now, because i don't think my mavericks can deal with shaq or wade. oh well. but anyways, there was ample amounts of food, and it was pretty tasty.
that's about it. i pretty much did only one thing each day, and spent the rest of the time resting and watching basketball. i could feel my stress level decreasing, but then again, i'm at work again today. if only i could have had my 4-day weekend.
hey people. i keep getting confused whether today is tuesday or wednesday. it's wednesday, right? it feels like it's earlier in the week. but luckily, it's hump day already! i'm thinking about taking friday off so i can get a good, relaxing 4-day weekend.
for lunch today, we went to milpitas and tried the new place in milpitas square. i think it's where the old tung kee noodle was, but i'm not sure. but anyways, their advertised specialty was potstickers. i tried one, and it was burnt. not very good. i also got their steamed dumplings, and they were so-so. there wasn't much flavor, so i had to use some hot sauce.
i really hated the two singles from last night's american idol. katharine mcphee's was just downright boring and cheesy, and taylor hick's song was boring as well. and both of them used the "sing with the black church choir chorus" schtick, and that was pretty lame. i'll be happy for whoever wins, though. i really like both of them, but for different reasons.
tonight's finale is going to be boring. they've scheduled TWO hours for something that can be done in much less time. how are they going to fill in all that time? *ponder*
tell me if this is weird. i am hoping to get some zits so i can pop them. isn't that a weird wish? i don't get zits that often, and when i do, i relish popping them. i like the deep ones that don't give until you squeeze *really* hard, and they explode with all this white pussy stuff and blood afterwards.
yesterday, i got a haircut, and i discovered a great new thing: getting a shampoo after the cut. at first, i decided to do it so i didn't have to worry about loose hair falling out all over the place, but then, i realized that it feels really really good to have someone run their fingers through your hair and on your scalp. good stuff!
what is with all this hoopla about beard papa? are their cream puffs that good? do they serve anything else? it seems like a lot of trouble to go all the way up to the city to try a dessert.
ok, i'm gonna wrap it up here. i'm out of stuff to say, and there's some debugging work i have to do. bye!
i'm bored. and i'm burping up the spicy pork that i had for lunch at a korean place. yum, spicy pork. these days, i try not to eat too much beef (except when it comes to burgers). so i guess i've lost the taste for cow meat. i remember, i used to love bul ko gi, but lately, i just don't have an appetite for it.
so go mavs! nelson, paul and i met up at st. john's last night for half off cheesesteaks, but i was heavily distracted by the spurs/mavs game. i kept on leaving the table to go watch the game, and i want to apologize to them for not being a good conversationalist. however, i do want to congratulate paul and leeya for getting engaged. CONGRATULATIONS! it's about time!
i think i'm going to get a haircut after i leave work. it's been over a month, and i'm getting poofy.
one of my coworkers drives from here (in sunnyvale) all the way up to the city (on a weekday, no less) for a haircut. man, that's pretty dedicated, isn't it? it's like a 3 hour lunch break! me, i've been going to the same supercuts in palo alto that i've been going to since i started college in 1992.
i had a fantasy last night about a sex swing. i only have one porn clip of a swing being used, so i resort to imagination when i visualize them. it's pretty hot stuff! the girl in the swing, legs spread wide open with her ankles in some loops on either side, and the guy going in and out and watching the genital contact. yeah, i can bust a chub really hard on that imagery.
i'm very disappointed to see that xmen3 got a lot of bad reviews. it's rated only 40% on rottentomatoes.com. sigh. i had high expectations, but i think i'll go see it anyways, if i can ever find a movie buddy. so far, i've been meaning to see mi3 and da vinci code, but no one has wanted to see it with me.
have you guys ever seen a movie alone? i've done it maybe 2-3 times in my life. it feels weird, sort of sad in a way.
so tonight and tomorrow night mark the end of american idol 5. it's been a good year, i think. i like both taylor and katharine a lot, so i'm definitely interested to see who's going to win it all. katharine's got booty! i'd definitely hit that, especially since she's got a really good face on top as well.
on the show, they always show the contestant's family and friends in the audience. how that that work? do they just quit their job for a couple of weeks and stay in LA for extended periods? or do they keep flying in and out on tuesdays and wednesdays? *ponder*
anyways, that's i got for today. see you later!
hey folks. how are you people doing? i have a pube growing an inch below my bellybutton. is that odd to you?
i had a dream about G the other night. she was sort of my rebound after k1, the summer after my sophomore year. i liked her earlier, though, back when we were in chinese camp years before. ah, summer flings. we watched a lot of movies, hung out a bunch, and all that time spent together meant that we just wound up getting together.
oh well. she's happily married now, with two kids (i think), and get this: she's married to another guy named "dardy." what's the odds of that happening? my theory is that she really wanted me, but had to settle for another guy with my name. ha!
the reason why i broke things off was that we went to colleges on opposite ends of the states: me in california, and she in boston. and i was going to spend the next summer in japan, so there was just no way we could handle the long distance after only two real weeks of being together. sigh. has long distance ever worked? i only know of one that has (waves to dishi).
sleep has been amazingly good these past couple of nights. i've opened all the windows in my room, so by the time i go to bed, it's a little chilly. and i get to snuggle underneath my layers of blankets, hugging my cool pillow. it's all very good stuff.
i'm a little jittery today. my mavericks are playing the spurs in san antonio for the right to go to the western conference finals. (we're talking about basketball here, for you non-sports fans.) the mavs were up 3-1 in the best of 7 series, and i'd hate to see them blow that lead, which usually proves to be insurmountable.
i've been dreading eating meals lately because of my tics. usually, i can only force in a small bite before unleashing a storm of tics. either that, or i have to sit back in my chair and put both my hands on my head or my neck. it's tough. last night, i had some seaweed in my mouth, and i ticced and launched a piece of the stuff onto alan's face. i was very embarrassed.
my hands are cold. what causes bad circulation? last thursday, i went to get a massage, and the woman had cold hands as well. it didn't feel very good, but luckily her hands warmed up after all the friction and contact with my body.
i need a movie buddy. i haven't seen MI3 or da vinci code yet. alan and ting often see movies without telling me (so i can't tag along), and i'm beginning to lose touch with all the stuff that's out there. i used to watch movies like once every week, but now, it's more like once a month. i am really looking forward to xmen, though. famke janssen is hot!
ok. i just got an IM request. gonna go chat a bit before i go home. bye!
didn't do a whole lot this weekend. i did manage to see alan all three days of the weekend. friday night, i had burritos with him at la bamba (i got the quesadilla). ting doesn't like mexican food, so i think alan likes to get it when she's not there.
saturday, i watched the preakness stakes after getting out of bed at 1:40pm. poor barbaro. i was rooting for him to win (we haven't had a triple crown winner in forever), but he broke his ankle in two places. they called the injury life-threatening, so i was really worried. i'm not really big into horse races, but the triple crown events really fascinate me. all the buildup and hoopla for something that lasts like 2 minutes!
for dinner, i met with alan and ting at grand indian buffet (sneha). i was starving since i didn't eat lunch, so i had 1.5 plates of food, plus dessert. alan and ting always eat to the point where they're sick, and then they curse the fact that they chose to eat an indian buffet. i find that funny.
sunday, i got out of bed at 1, and watched the cavaliers lose game 7 to the pistons. i was rooting for lebron, but i think he needs some better players on his team so he doesn't have to do it all.
we headed off to jack and amy's place to see their newborn (well, like 1.5 month-old) baby daughter, amanda. it's amazing that they're just a little older than i am, and they already have two kids. wow. i have no idea when i'll ever have kids.
after about an hour visit, we headed off to oedo japanese restaurant for alan's birthday dinner. i thought the sushi i got was pretty mediocre (they put in too much cucumber), but everyone else seemed to enjoy their meal.
the bummer of the weekend was that it rained. however, i'm not sure it would have made a different in what i would have done, though. i spent most of my non-eating time lying on the couch. yeah, i'm a couch potato, but the way i see it is that i have to be one because i tic too much while i'm upright. sigh. tourette's really sucks.
hey people. it's been a frantic day. today was slated as the RTL freeze, the day that we're supposed to be done with our code. there was a lot of debugging to do, but i am mildly confident that my stuff will work. *crosses fingers*
it's raining outside. bummer. since when did it rain in may in the bay area? i was planning on doing some hiking or some outdoor activity, but now those plans look like they're not going to happen.
jay's flying to LA today to run in a marathon (tomorrow?). i am very impressed with him. i don't think i could ever pull that off, even if i trained. running has always been a pain in the ass. back at gfn, i used to run with my coworkers, and we'd run 1.5 miles on a 10min/mile pace. i felt like shit afterwards. i can't imaging running 26.2 miles. they say it's mostly mental, but i beg to differ; i'm just not built to run.
i forgot to rinse my ass yesterday. i always soap it up nice, but sometimes i have a mental lapse and forget to rinse. so what i get is soapy, stinky ass suds. and yeah, i was too lazy to go back in the shower.
i'm impressed that you don't have to wipe most dogs' asses after they take a dump. according to ting, their puppy "pinches off nicely." i mean, when dogs sit, their asshole comes in contact with the ground, right? good thing that they don't leave residue behind.
so have any of you women readers out there achieved the g-spot orgasm? how does it feel (differently from a normal orgasm)? one of my ex's used to be able to do it, and man, it was a sight to behold. she'd ooze out all this liquid that smelled like piss, and that would wind up soaking my pubes. pretty amazing stuff, if you ask me.
one of my coworkers left the company today. he's relocating back to canada. i will remember him as the biggest eater of all of us. you should see him at all-you-can-eat places like mongolian bbq or our free company lunches. he literally goes through a *mountain* of food! he's a good guy, and even though i never worked with him directly, i will miss him.
i get scared sometimes that one of my teammates will leave the company. each of them possesses such a large amount of knowledge in our subsystem that if any of them left, there'd be a huge amount of information and know-how lost. and you know that i (or someone else) would have to take their part of the project over, and that would be very painful. i know that with the high turnaround in companies in silicon valley, this is inevitable, but it would still be a pain in the ass nonetheless.
ok. it's 5:40. i'm tired. it's been a long week. have a good weekend folks!
hey people. this one's gonna be short, i think. i've been a debugging maniac this afternoon, and i still can't figure out what's going wrong. as much as i usually love debugging (i.e. finding faults with other people's code, hehe), it's a real grind sometimes. sigh. sometimes i really hate my job.
so it's down to kat and taylor in AI, huh? who would have ever thought that taylor hicks would make it to the finals. i mean, his voice isn't anything special, and he doesn't have the range that katharine possesses, but i guess he *is* entertaining to watch, especially on uptempo songs. i was really surprised by the breakdown of tuesday night's voting: 33.06%, 33.26%, and 33.68%. that's pretty fucking close!
i'm getting a massage today at 5:30. i think i'm going to get them once every two weeks while my tics are in bad shape. i can't turn my head without pain, and sometimes my neck crunches as well. it can't be good for me. i need relief, man!
i like the fact that lebron james bites his nails. it makes him seem human. i mean, in basketball terms, he is otherworldly, but with that little fault, he seems accessible to nailbiters like me.
ok. i gotta go do some more debugging.
hey people. man, this afternoon was occupied by a debugging effort like i've never experienced. i had to debug this arithmetic block in my design, and boy howdy! it was pretty brutal.
my coworker W just showed me a magic trick. i'm mesmerized by magic. i always want to ask how people do their tricks, but of course, they never tell me, so i'm left there sitting in wonderment. i loved that show several years ago where this magician broke the silence on many age-old tricks and revealed how they were done.
i wasn't going to eat all of yesterday, but on the drive home from work, i broke down and got a subway sandwich. i got their chicken parmigiana, and even though the chicken is pre-made, it was still good. i guess i'm a sucker for marinara sauce... use it as a dip, and anything (practically) tastes good.
so i saw my psych today. he didn't suggest anything besides increasing my daily depakote dosage by another 250mg. i have doubts that this will do anything. if depakote is a sedative, but i guess it'll just make me sleepier. dammit! i want relief from my tics!
ok, i guess i was misunderstood yesterday. i wasn't saying that all women age faster. just some of my female friends. i still have female friends that look like 25 or so, so i didn't want to make a blanket generalization. and yes, i've aged too. i've got a belly, and i have a lot of white hairs. sigh.
i really liked katharine mcphee's rendition of "somewhere over the rainbow" last night. it was tender, and it showed off her voice beautifully. i am hoping for a taylor/kat showdown in the finals. but to tell you the truth, i probably wouldn't by an album by either one of them. i promised two seasons ago that i'd buy an album by john stevens, and he has one out, but i haven't gotten it yet. *shrug*
i'm surprised that in all 5 season of american idiol, none of the finals has dropped out due to some illness that's affected their voice. i mean, what if you have a sore throat or something? bronchitis? hm.
go mavs! game 5 is tonight.
since i didn't take a dump yesterday, i took a pretty big one today. afterwards, i didn't feel satisfied, so i just kept on pushing. a smaller turd came out, and then a tiny pea-sized one. it's amazing how much pushing was required for that last piece. i might have popped a vein!
have you ever found anything in your dump? like a recognizable object? alan and ting examine their puppy rylie's turds, and they sometimes find stuff in there! one time, i think alan said he found a piece of carpet in the turd. interesting. i guess a puppy's GI tract is short enough that some things don't get totally broken down before they're excreted.
during winter, i usually watch tv under the covers in my bedroom. lately, it's been so hot in there that i am actually above the covers. so i'm just hanging out naked, watching tv. it feels good. there's just something that's inherently good about being naked out there. great stuff!
ok. headed down for a smoking break. have fun people!
man. what a grueling day of debugging. i have one test passing, but the other one is a doozy. i'm not sure if i'm right, or if the model is right. it's a tossup either way. sigh.
i've noticed that some of my friends aren't aging that well. i'm talking more about the women. two of the women i've had crushes on in the past don't look so good anymore. i'm not sure what's different, but they just don't look cute or attractive like they did back in the day. ah, fleeting youth.
i played basketball today, but only one game. my left knee was feeling a bit weird, and during some strides up and down the court, it hurt a bit. i did manage to drain two jumpers, though, which is more production than most of my other outings.
/15 minutes later, sitting at the computer/
well, i'm out of things to say. just gonna go home. i'll try hard tomorrow, i promise!
howdy people. not much going on today. i found a bug in my code, and it didn't feel good. i guess my confidence (in my code) went down a bit, and we have to freeze the code by this friday. i sure hope there aren't more bugs...
three of us went to mongolian bbq today. there wasn't much of a crowd at all, compared to the days when it was packed. i wonder why their business isn't doing well; it's the same stuff, so why is it less popular now? although today, i went after a guy who put in a load of ginger, so my bowl tasted a big gingery. i hate that stuff! ginger and cilantro are the two things that i can't stand.
after not going #2 over the weekend (again), i had a huge dump this morning. the log went straight into the toilet hole, so i couldn't tell how long it was. it was really thick, though, and it took a few heaves to get it out. i like nice, solid dumps like that, but i just can't risk taking them at home because it'll clog up the pipes.
did anyone experience a power outage today? i got to work, and my computer was off to some reason. so i turned it on, did some work, and suddenly the whole office went dark. thank goodness i wasn't blogging or doing some code changes, or else i would have lost my work.
is it weird that when i watch porn, i prefer guys with big, long, straight shlongs? i mean, i should be paying attention to the girl, right? hm. but i just can't get excited if the guy is small or has a crooked/mishapen shaft. it's not like i identify with guys who have large packages, as mine is pretty normal in size. *ponder*
it's sunny and hot out there. i don't like it. the sunny part is fine, but the heat just saps the energy out of me. and lately, it's been hard to fall asleep because my upstairs bedroom is so hot. i can feel the temperature change when i walk up the stairs, and it sucks. i've switched to two layers of blankets (instead of three), and it's probably a permanent change until autumn comes around.
i found naked pictures of paz vega on google the other day. she's pretty hot. i added her to my nubiles list a few years ago, and i stand by my decision. fyi, she shows off her body a lot in the movie _sex and lucia_ (go figure). that movie also showcases one of the largest erect penises that i have ever seen, porn or elsewhere.
all righty-o. i'm out of things to say. gonna work a little more and go home.
let's see here... friday night, 3 of us met a king of krung siam and had thai food. mikeC got the mango chicken, and although i was expecting a sweet dish (i don't like sweet dinner entrees), the sauce was surprisingly good! afterwards, we met up with paul at tapioca express to chill out and chat a bit.
saturday, nelson and i grabbed brunch at our usual place: original pancake house in cupertino. cholula hot sauce on eggs is quite tasty! after that, i went home and took a nap and watched some of the NBA playoffs.
for dinner, i met up with jay and margaret. they're selling their home, so their house was spotless and pristine. we went to the fish market, where i got these dungeness crabcakes (i know, it's an appetizer) for my main entree. they were good, but quite pricey. in fact, everything at the fish market is expensive; i guess that's the price you pay for fresh fish, huh? after that, we went home and watched the end of the mavs/spurs (go mavs!) game 3 and some past american idol performances from this season.
sunday, i got out of bed upstairs and immediately went to lie down in the living room to watch some basketball. i stayed there until dinner, where 5 of us went to this vietnamese place near montague and capitol. afterwards, we went to tapex next door. i ordered this barley milk tea (thinking it would be as good as the one at tea era), but it was gritty and shit. gross.
and that was it. overall, a pretty tame weekend, but i needed the rest.
hey people. it's been a long week, and i'm glad it's friday. next week doesn't look that much better, though; we have a deadline next friday, and i've got a lot of shit to do before that happens.
remind me to never order a whiskey at red robin. that's where alan, ting and i went last night for dinner. the drink cost $5, and they barely gave me a shot of the stuff. i was hoping that it would take the edge of things and give me an empty stomach buzz, but it didn't work. sigh.
during the dinner conversation, ting brought up how hard it must be to suddenly break up after years and years of dating someone. yeah, i suppose it must be tough to have someone who's been in your life to suddenly disappear. it must feel pretty empty for a while. i remember when a friend of mine became single, and the look of bewilderment on his face when he realized that he had to start dating again.
i don't remember what exactly my dream last night was about, but i do remember two things that it involved: a king size snickers bar and a blowtorch. random, i know.
my friend J is going to run a marathon next week (i think it's next week). i can't ever imagine myself running 26.2 miles. i can't even run 1.5 miles! that's the distance that i used to run when i was back at gfn. by the end of it, my legs would be burning, and i would be wheezing.
did you know that when you run a marathon, you have to protect your nipples? all that friction from the shirt can turn your nips into a bloody mess, as an acquaintance of mine painfully found out. so you either have to lubricate your chest, or put on these things they call "nip-guards." ha!
i had a gf once that liked it when i bit her nipples hard. i dunno. it must feel totally different than from when i squeeze my own nipples. to me, it hurts! but she loved it. she said it was sort of like pain, but in a good way. *shrug* i don't understand.
there are many sensations that women feel that i don't get to experience. stuff like nipple-biting, orgasms, oral sex, vaginal sex, and giving birth. that last one, though, makes me glad i am a man, because delivering a baby looks like it would fucking hurt. i am tempted to pose that question to my female friends who've had babies, but i'm scared to ask.
what intrigued me about my girl friends who've had babies is that they never seemed to be afraid of giving birth. if i were them, i'd be petrified. why? because i'm a total wuss when it comes to pain. and knowing that one day soon i'd be pushing out a huge object out of my vagina would be on my mind constantly. (yes, i am neurotic and dwell on things too much.)
ok. that's it for today. it's time for a smoke. have a great weekend everyone!
howdy folks. man, american idol last night was a shocker. i thought katharine mcphee would get booted off, not chris daughtry. chris is one of the favorites! i was hoping for elliott to go, though. i'm not a fan of his singing, and his fast vibrato is really annoying.
so mia posted an entry a few days ago about compatible sleepers. you know what's funny, i still sleep in bed as if i had a girlfriend. i sleep on my own side (on the right), and i don't invade the left side even if i'm tossing and turning in bed.
one thing about my sleep habits, though; i don't like the feel of my legs on top of each other, so i make this little fold in my blankets and put it between my legs. that might pose a problem if i had a girl in bed with me. *ponder*
i can't believe that i used to sleep with my gf's in college. back then, we had twin beds, and they were narrow! one time, i fell out of my bunk. it was about 5-6 feet up in the air, and i'm lucky i didn't break any bones. i just woke up on the ground and thought, "hm. where am i?" :)
i'm excited for the next X-men movie. i think that's my favorite comic book turned into a movie, not that i read any of the comic books. but my brother used to collect X-men cards, and i got to read little blurbs on the back about each of the characters. there are lots of characters! although, this time, there won't be lady deathstrike (played by kelly hu), so i'm sad. kelly hu is HOT!
one of my recently engaged friends is now unengaged. she broke the news today over IM, and i was a little shocked. then again, i never heard her say that she really loved the guy, so i guess this is all for the best. marriage is a serious thing! you gotta make you really want to be with the other person for the rest of your life. otherwise, it's a huge mistake.
i've never dated just for the sake of dating. that's why i am so picky about women; i'm not just looking for fun, and i'm looking for a life partner. sigh. i think that poses a problem for me because every i give up on a girl the moment i find something i don't like. and that's pretty unrealistic, isn't it? i mean, everyone has flaws, and nobody's perfect, so i should just chill out and go along for the ride. at least, that's the thinking.
i've been drinking a lot more soda recently. ever since they started stocking regular dr pepper, i've been having 2-3 cans of the stuff a day. back when they only had coke, i only had one soda a day, and i would drink more other stuff, like gatorade or soymilk. i wonder if all this sugar and caffeine is bad for me. i keep seeing ads on tv about adults developing type 2 diabetes. am i at risk here?
my coworker W is taking mandarin classes. this means that he has to get up earlier every weekday to drive to de anza college all the way from the east bay before going to work. i'm impressed with his determination. the drive towards self-betterment is something that i just don't have. thus the stagnant life.
i'm sort of looking forward to the end of all my tv shows. no more being shackled to the tv schedule. (and no, i'm not going to get tivo or anything. i don't watch enough tv to need that.)
anyways, it's time for my 5 o'clock cigarette break. see you all tomorrow.
hey people. didn't do much today. i did meet up with mike at shagun indian restaurant for lunch. it's near the san jose airport, and the food was decent. i didn't have much of an appetite (weird, considering i was starving last night), but i still ate a plate of food. their gulab jamun is a bit weird, though, kind of grainy and stuff. but either way, it was good to see mike resurface for a bit before diving back into his coding; he's been sequestering himself at home working madly.
again, my tics made me spill food on myself. so now i've got indian curry stains on my pristine white stussygear t-shirt. sigh. i'm such a slob.
you know what i find a turn-on? porn where the girl is on top, and her vaginal juices soak the guy's schlong. i love seeing the dude's shaft glistening while the girl is riding her man cowgirl style. schwing! too often, there's no juices, and that means that girl's not excited. so i like to know that the girl is really into the sex.
i finally caved and sold my sony stock today. i bought it three years ago, and i've been holding onto it despite the potential gains. just to let you know, i got a 95% return on my investment. it was only a few thousand dollars, but i'm glad that i stuck with it. i love sony. i am a sony whore. every piece of electronics that i have (even my alarm clock and land line phones) is made by them.
so now that i have $6K in extra cash, what should i invest in next? any tips from you stock traders out there? i'm all ears!
i think i shall partake in some naked time tonight. i'm gonna go home early, and just shed all my clothes and watch tv naked downstairs. it'll be refreshing!
despite my affinity towards not wearing clothes, i don't consider myself a nudist. or at least an out-in-the-public nudist. i think it'd get turned on too easily if i saw a bunch of hot naked women. i'd start fantasizing about having sex with them or something. to a true nudist, naked is just natural, and it doesn't have any sexual connotations. (at least, that's what i've heard.)
i need to push myself to exercise more. meaning, i need to keep playing basketball on tuesdays and thursdays. i stopped playing for a few months, and i wonder if it's no coincidence between not playing bball and my tics getting worse. exercise is a stress reliever. but the problem is, i just get so lazy sometimes. i need to motivate!
how do really obese people have sex?
and that shall be my parting thought for the day. bye!
so did anybody watch the david blaine special last night? did you see his hands and feet after being in that water tank for a week? they looked GROSS! sort of like brains: wrinkly and white. i hope he doesn't suffer any permanent damage.
they also showed some of his street magic tricks. i simply do not comprehend how he pulled off some of those stunts. even simple ones, like tying his shoe simply by wiggling his feet around. how *does* he do that? *ponder* i have no answers.
so today, i actually got up early enough to grab some breakfast before work. i went to mcd's and got a sausage/egg mcmuffin and a hash brown. yum. and i also played basketball today. it was hot and humid! i was heaving by the end of the games, and i actually made a few jumpers. they were playing man defense, and guy who was guarding me didn't respect my shot. so i got a few open shots, and i drained like three or four. *flex*
so after five years of writing online, amabelle has called it quits. i haven't maintained contact with her for many years now, but still, it's sad to see a blogger go. especially a blogger that you read every day. and now i won't be able to find out what she's up to. oh well.
i had a bad stomachache after basketball today. it went on for about an hour, and it was so bad that i had to go to the bathroom twice and cower in the stall, holding my head in my hands. for a while, i thought my appendix had burst or something. and after that, i got chest pains. man, i don't know what is going on with my body today.
this morning, while taking my medication, i had this monstrous tic. i was holding an open medicine container, so the pills went flying everywhere. it was very embarrassing, although no one saw it. i fucking hate my tourette's sometimes. and lately, i feel tics coming on when i am drinking something. usually, i can hold it off while i'm holding the beverage, but i just know that one of these days, i'm going to launch a liquid all over the place.
sometimes i hate earning paper money, i.e. stocks that go up. i never know when to sell, because i am a greedy bastard. right now, i have two stocks that have doubled, and i am very nervous. nervous that they'll plummet on some future news, but not nervous enough to sell them and cement my gains. any advice for you investors out there?
so who out there has seen mission impossible 3? is it worth watching? or is the plot a mess, and acting terrible, etc.?
anyways, that's it for today. time to wrap it up at the office and go home. bye!
hey people. not much going on with me on this sunny monday. the weather's great! sucks to have to be stuck in a cubicle all day long. thank goodness for my smoking breaks.
to answer an anonymous comment about sex, i think coming in a girl's mouth feels better than coming in her vagina. the difference is that the girl's doing all the work in the former case, so you can just sit back and enjoy all the sensations during your orgasm. and in the latter case, unless the girl is riding you cowgirl style, you're going all the work, and that takes away from the enjoyment. just my 2 cents on sex. but usually, i'll take an orgasm any way i can get it. :)
man, i miss sex.
last night, i had a dream where alan was mad at me. i woke up feeling completely sad. he's my best friend, and i'd hate to do anything that would make him upset. but after that, i fell back asleep and dreamt that i had to submit two reports for school, one written on a hoe and one written on a shovel. yeah, weird, i know. sometimes dreams just don't make any sense at all.
so tonight's the big night for david blaine. he's going to hold his breath underwater for a whopping NINE minutes! the lame thing, though, is that the world record is 8:58, so it's not like he's doing something completely groundbreaking. i thought he would break the record by like many minutes or something.
for the first time, my dump did not exceed my expectations. i didn't take a shit the entire weekend, so i was expecting something huge. i went to bathroom early in the morning, and at first, it felt big. i had to squeeze three times to get the whole thing out. but after i wiped and got up to take a look at it, it wasn't monstrous or anything, just about 7-8 inches long. i was disappointed.
i am envious of people who know how to fix things. you know, people who know how to work on cars or do home improvement things. like today, my coworker W was like, "yeah, i'm going to change the oil and install new air filters on my car during my lunch break" and i was like, "what, you know how to do that?" yeah, i'm pretty ignorant; i'm sure many tasks like that are quite intuitive or at least easy to learn. maybe i'm just lazy by choosing to be ignorant.
anyways, that's it for today. i'm going home soon. bye!
well, i didn't do a whole lot this weekend. i needed to rest because my tics were so bad, so i spent most of the time at home lying down watching sports.
but anyways, friday night, a group of us went to santana row to eat at sino (how do you pronounce that?). we celebrated paul and mikeC's birthdays with some really expensive chinese food. i didn't really have much of a lunch that day, so after my two jameson's, i was buzzing. it was the first buzz that i've had in a few years. it felt good, because alcohol takes the edge off of my tics, albeit just a little bit this time.
i bought the two birthday boys a shot of patron tequila, and after dinner, since mikeC was driving, we had to walk off his buzz. paul and leeya brought spike (their pug puppy) out, and all these random women kept saying how cute he was. talk about a chick magnet. anyways, we walked around for a while, and finally mikeC sobered up. i got home at midnight, well past my bedtime.
saturday, i got out of bed at 2pm, and didn't do anything (besides rest) until gombei dinner at 6. and then, it was the stanford taiko spring concert. it was really really good, although we sat in the very back row at dink auditorium. man, the group is so good now, compared to when i was playing with them.
sunday was more of the same. resting during the day, and dinner at night. this time, i met up with adam, rae and randy at korea house. we got lots of meat, and i think everyone was satisfied with the volume of food we consumed.
oh, and i did call up my old friend amy and caught up with her for 45 minutes on the phone. amy's cool. :)
and that was it. not a whole lot of social activity, but hey, what can you do...
hello. happy cinco de mayo! today was free lunch day downstairs in the cafeteria. but instead of getting mexican food, they got thai food. hm. go figure. i didn't think it was very good (here, the food never is), but at least they had mango with sticky rice. yum!
i am incapacitated with my tics. i can't do any work, because once i drop my arms to the keyboard, i start ticcing like crazy. eating is tough because i have to eat with one hand on my head. (yeah, i know it looks weird.) be *thankful* that i'm typing out this blog entry for you folks, because it is really causing me pain.
does anyone out there like the porn star kobe tai? i have one of her "best of" dvd's, but i don't really like any of the scenes in the compilation. in many cases, the guy is using a condom (why do that if it's porn?), and in other scenes, you can clearly see the scars from her breast augmentation. scars just aren't a turn-on, you know? but i think she gives good blowjobs. she does this thing where she practically swallows the guy's entire schlong, and the dude moans; no doubt she is doing some masterful tongue-swirling or something like that.
i've said this before, but i've never really liked blowjobs. most likely, it's because i've never gotten a good one. one time, i even lost my boner while getting sucked off. (the girl was embarrassed.) but i have come inside a girl's mouth, and that feels *really* good. *shrug*
so come to stanford taiko's annual spring concert! it's at dinkelspiel auditorium, tomorrow at 8pm. tonight is their dress rehearsal, and it'll be the first time ever that i won't take pictures of them in their full gear. (i have a birthday dinner to go to.) i feel sort of guilty, though, because that's my annual thing that i do for the group, and i feeling like i'm letting them down or something.
it's hard to believe that vanna white is 50 now. she still looks good, and she denies having any cosmetic surgery besides trying botox a few times.
so is anyone going to brave the crowds this weekend and try to see MI3? i used to have a big thing about going to all the blockbuster opening nights, but then i just got tired of it, i.e. getting to the theater an hour early, standing in line, stressing about finding good seats, etc.
today i had one of those dumps where i felt like i wasn't finished. don't you hate that? i mean, i dumped once, and then my sphincter just felt itchy and burning, and i kept thinking that i needed to dump some more. so i pushed and pushed, and nothing came out. it was very uncomfortable.
ok. that's it. i'm cutting this one short. gonna go home early and rest up for my dinner. that's the thing about my TS right now; i am very uncomfortable in social situations because i have to control my tics better. but when i force myself not to tic, it only means that the next storm will be worse. sigh. life sucks.
hey people. so stomp last night was pretty good. my biggest beef with the show, though, is that they keep doing the same stuff. i've seen them three times now, and all three shows were pretty much identical. so i guess i don't need to see them anymore, huh?
i'm having korean bbq burps today. i got some daeji bul kogi (spicy pork) and a beer, so that totalled around $20. pretty expensive for lunch. i think i'll stop getting beer from now on. they usually cost like $4-5 extra, and i don't get a buzz, not do i feel like it helps my tics. (fyi, i don't tic when i'm buzzing or drunk.)
i broke down today and got a massage appointment. my left shoulder is KILLING me with all the tics. i need somebody to give me a good rubdown and help loosen the area. i know i just got a massage a few weeks ago, but i need some therapy. and i rarely tic when i'm getting a massage, so it's a good 30 minutes of reprieve from the storm of tics; it's like an escape for me.
i had a dream last night that i got involved in multiple car accidents. and in one of them, i was thrown out of the front windshield. pretty violent stuff. did i not buckle my seatbelt in my dream? *ponder* there was also another bit of the dream about vampires. i wonder what caused that.
i haven't taken a dump today. i guess i'm eating very little these days. in the mornings, i'm usually down to 170 or so on my scale. i want to be 165 and get rid of this nasty gut that i've developed. it's so unattractive.
so i'm hoping the lakers beat the suns tonight (even though i like steve nash) so the lakers and clippers have a showdown at the staples center (where they both call home). who would have home field advantage? and would it really be one, if they both play at the same arena? anyways, i'm curious as to how that series would play out.
yesterday, i was getting all these hits for people looking for katharine mcphee's wardrobe malfunction. i don't get the big deal. so she flashed some panties at the camera. it's not like she was wearing a g-string or something. they were just regular, white underwear! it would have been cooler if she were wearing something skimpy. then, i would like her even more.
cool underwear is sexy. it makes me excited and happy. my favorite item that an ex used to wear was a translucent bra. i got to see the nipples and everything. now that's super-sexy!
the other time where she totally turned me on was when she shaved off all her pubes. i know people say it's a schoolgirl fetish or something, but i don't think so in my case. i just think it's clean, refreshing, and utterly titillating. i couldn't stop thinking about it the first night i saw her naked. and plus, it makes giving head much more enjoyable. no pubes in my teeth! :)
i like giving head. i like knowing that i have the power over the girl by giving her pleasure with my undivided attention. i like knowing that i can give her orgasm with just my tongue. the best part is when they come, and they start flapping like a fish, i get a firm grip on their thighs and lick even more furiously. good shit!
sigh. all this sex talk, and i have no one to do it with.
ok, a few more minutes, and i'm off to my massage. bye!
i'm going to see stomp tonight. i love stomp. i've seen them two times already, and it pretty much never gets boring. i guess with taiko and stomp, i have a thing for percussion. wheee!
i am ticcing like a motherfucker. it's interfering with work, it's interfering with eating (try sitting still in front of food when your head is snapping in all directions), it's prety much interfering with everything in my life. everything except when i'm lying down, which is why i do it so often. i am a step away from being an invalid.
i'm scared for katharine mcphee tonight. i think she might get booted off the show (i won't get to watch it because i'll be at stomp), because her performance was pretty weak last night. i am hoping paris gets voted off.
anyways, not much going on today. i went to cupertino village (we seem to go there a lot) to have lunch, and my coworker C picked out a pair of eyeglasses in like 10 minutes. that's a pretty quick decision; it took a few hours and at least two stores before i picked up my last set of frames back in 2000. i love my glasses, and since i don't wear contacts, the design and style of the frames means a great deal. C wears contacts most of the time, so i can see why he didn't care too much about how they looked on him.
i have a friend who lives down south and drives all the way up to SF for a haircut. that's pretty prissy, if you ask me. i mean, i understand if you like someone up there, but how different can it be compared to what you can get somewhere close? especially for a guy; there aren't that many styles, and my friend's hair is pretty simple to do, imho.
does anybody out there practice tantric sex? or knows much about it? i'm curious to know what it's like, i.e. how good it feels, what the benefits are, etc. it all sounds very interesting and exotic, but i've never known a real life person who has achieved it. hell, i'm not even sure what "achieving it" means. so i'm ignorant. someone enlighten me!
i was really horny last night. i guess i hadn't flushed the pipes in a long time. i had this fantasy about not being the one doing all the work for once. fyi, i'm usually the one who does the work during sex; i like it that way, and somehow it feels better for me. but last night, i pictured myself lying on my back, and having the girl bounce up on and down on my schlong. good stuff, man, although in real life, i don't enjoy it that much.
for my friend P just installed satelite tv. i was surfing through his hundreds of channels (he has dish network, not directv), and i found this: channel 492. the porn station! *cheer* once the other people in the house heard the moans and stuff emanating from the tv, i got varied responses. one of the girls made an "ew" sound, and one of the guys (go figure :) came over and watched. i must say, though, watching porn with other people and without the intention of wanking off is a strange one. it feels sort of out of place.
i wish i had free porn. the newness of porn clips is what does the trick. i can't watch the same old scenes over and over again (except for that chair fucking scene); it loses its freshness, and i can't get off as easily when i know what's going to happen and stuff.
anyways, it's 4:30. gonna do a bit more work and head off. go stomp!
greetings people. today, i had a lurker come out and write me an e-mail. it made me happy. so the rest of you people who haven't contacted me, de-lurk and bask in the happiness! :)
so after all his crazy stunts, david blaine is going to try to hold is breath underwater for NINE minutes. that's insane, jack! with my poor smoker's lungs, i can probably hold my breath for like 15 seconds, but *nine* minutes? holy shit!
anyways, after going home early yesterday, today i'm marginally better. i even played two games of basketball before i left. the problem is, though, that my upper right back hurts. it hurts to have my back up straight without support, so that's an issue that bothers me. maybe i slept on it wrong?
it's getting a lot warmer here in the bay area. i had a hard time falling asleep last night. i had to remove the top layer (the thickest layer, btw) of my blankets before i felt cool enough to get some shuteye. the morning, though, was still a bit chilly, and when i woke up, i saw that the top layer had been put back on.
i had yet another dream about k1 last night. and there was a subplot in the dream about green shoes. hm. i love green shoes. i don't know why, though. maybe i'm just trying to be different, but i've owned like five pairs of green shoes, including one pair that's in my current rotation.
so i met up with mike last night on castro for dinner. we went to ryowa, where i got a large order of fried rice. it's pretty good! it's a bit salty, but then again, i love salty foods. the thing i gotta stop doing, though, is ordering the gyoza. their gyoza sucks; it has no flavor. but anyways, i was nice catching up with mike. he's going to be underground for the next two weeks or so working, so i wish him good luck and for him to resurface sooner rather than later.
so congrats to my mavericks for sweeping the memphis grizzlies! it's the first time they've swept a team in the playoffs, so that's a good sign that they're playing well. now i'm hoping for sacramento to win so the mavs don't have to face san antonio. anyways, playoff basketball is fun to watch; the intensity is higher, and the games mean more.
so last night, when i got home early, i caught some of the montel show. they featured the tourette's guy who had brain surgery to implant electrodes in his head. after that surgery, he didn't tic at all! i was jealous of him. they showed footage of him before the surgery, and man, he had it bad. he couldn't even walk down a hallway!
apparently, his story was that he tried all sorts of meds, and they worked for a while and then stopped being effective, sort of where i'm at. and doctors said that he'd never have a chance at having a normal life (imagine him driving, there's no way he would ever be able to do that), but he kept on fighting for a cure, and thus he volunteered for this radical brain surgery.
man. tourette's sucks. it's embarrassing, and what people don't get is that the motor tics can really hurt. imagining yourself snapping your neck hundreds of times a day. the muscles, nerves, everything just gets all fucked up. sigh. i'm seeing my psych in two weeks, but the problem is, i don't know if he has any solution for me. *sobs*
anyways, that's that. i'm headed out shortly to have a beer with T, my ex-coworker who was my smoking buddy. he's back in the states for a week. bye!
hey people. my tics are HORRIBLE today. i think i'm going to go home early and just rest up. i had hoped that lying down a lot during the weekend would have helped, but it didn't.
anyways... to tim and other readers of my blog, if you see me somewhere, please come and say hi! i promise it won't be an embarrassing situation, as i'm a pretty friendly guy. so come on up and introduce yourselves!
i've had two solid dumps these past two days. i'm pleased. they feel much more satisfying than the fibrous little shits that i've been having. after i push them out, i feel all relieved and happy and stuff. and plus, it takes less wipes because less of the stuff gets on my sphincter. (although, weirdly, last night, i discovered some dingleberries during my shower.)
since i graduated when i was so young, i've been used to being the office baby. my, how time has passed. now, i'm 30, and there's a 20-year-old who works full time here. now, *he* is the office baby. sigh, i guess everybody's run at that title must end sometime, eh?
another one of my coworkers is going to israel for two weeks. man, i would never agree to go there. it's just such a dangerous place, and not to mention the marathon commute there and back. i can't sleep on planes, so the travel time would be almost unbearable.
i desperately need a vacation. i can feel my body/brain aching for a break away from work. my tourette's is getting worse, and the only thing that's going to heal that is maybe a week or two off. usually, this kind of stuff only happens at the end of the year, so i can use the christmas/new year's shutdown as my break, but this time, no such luck. *sobs*
ok, that's it for today. i know it's short, but i'm gonna take off early and rest up. have a nice monday!
i had a pretty uneventful weekend. most of it was spent lying down, because my tics are totally ruling me.
friday night, nelson, leeya, paul and i went to southland. we seem to be going there a lot. anyways, i ordered the combination over rice with gravy. it sucked. not only was the gravy not tasty, but they gave me liver. ick. i hate liver. so dinner was disappointing. at least we got ten ren afterwards.
saturday, i got a quesadilla from la bamba (with extra cheese, yum!), and bought a new battery for my cell phone. i've had the battery for over two years now, and it wasn't working well. i spent the rest of the afternoon lying on the futon, even taking naps while watching sports.
then i drove to paul and leeya's place for their housewarming/paul's birthday party. the two of them served up some fantastic food, and paul even put big chunks of garlic into his burgers! yum. i love garlic. even though i was having a pretty good time (despite the tics, though), i have to leave early to go catch sportscenter. yeah, i know that's a totally lame excuse ot leave a party, but without SC, i can't fall asleep.
sunday was more of the same. i went with alan to look at lawn chairs at target, but even the shitty ones were like $20, which was more than alan wanted to pay. we also wound up eating there at the taco bell. my gordita wasn't very good, and i also got a chicken quesadilla. i guess i have a thing with cheese, huh?
at 7, i drove to stanford to watch stanford taiko's song showcase, where they played a song and then set aside time for comments. their sprint concert is this weekend, so if you want to see some good collegiate taiko, come! and then you can say hi to me, ha!
but again, i had to leave early for sportscenter. i was kinda bummed out because i only got to see like 4 songs out of their playlist, but again, i needed SC.
so yeah. i'm disappointed that i have grown so dependent on ESPN; it cut both of my nights short. i think that one of these days, i'm going to stop taking seroquel and also try to fall asleep naturally without drugs or tv. it's gotta happen some day, right?