yeah. you know that means. panic attacks! i'm sitting through one right now, and it fucking sucks. it's work stress (couldn't be anything else, right?), especially since my boss told me yesterday that i need to put in more hours. hm. i think i have a fragile brain.
last night's loss to LSU (women's tourney) was a shame. if we had made our free throws, we would have had a chance at overtime or winning the game outright. and that charging call on candace wigging was a killer.
i took a dump today, and afterwards, i noticed that there were little bubbles of air coming out of the turds. fascinating!
it's been a busy day today, and some of the things i'm working on (like synthesis of some of my modules) aren't working. the computer craps out, and i'm not sure how to resolve this. no doubt another reason why i'm stressed out. the tools we use are so complicated these days. *shrug*
basketball today was a thriller. for my third game, we were up against a better team, and we won it 7-6. i'm usually not very competitive (at anything), but the win felt really good. some of the guys really like winning, though. one dude slammed his fist into the wall after losing. i'm like, "why?" it's just a game, right? as long as i get good exercise, i'm happy.
i really don't like being medicated all the time. right now, i've got a mixture of five drugs coursing through my veins. luckily, i don't have any major side effects (that i can tell), but the idea that i have to rely on drugs for the rest of my life really bugs me. i guess some of us aren't lucky enough to have healthy brains.
ok. i feel calmer now. i think the xanax is working.
man, it's quiet in the office. it's past 6, and i guess things are winding down here. i don't remember the last time i was in the office this late, and it feels kind of spooky. i feel like i have be quiet. it's like the 24-hour study rooms back in college, where everyone was slaving away reading up on their material. i never studied there; the few times i went inside, i felt like screaming to break the silence.
anyways, i'm gonna go home and rest. it's been a hell of a day, and i hope tomorrow is better.