things aren't going well for me, at least at night. for the second night in a row, i needed to pop a few pills of xanax to get me to sleep. i know this is old news, but the thing is, panic attacks are hitting me very frequently now. the good news is that they're not happening at work, but of course, the bad news is that i am having a hell (literally) of a time trying to fall asleep.
so word is that the cooks at the company cafeteria are going to be replaced at the end of this month. i feel bad, because even though the food isn't spectacular or anything, the people are very friendly, and they cook in a competent manner. i have no idea what kind of stuff we're going to get from the new folks.
so tonight, alan and ting are hosting a _so you think can dance_ finale pizza party at their place. it should be fun. i was just on fox.com perusing the dancers' biographies. some of them have been taking lessons for 10 years! wow, it just goes to show that homegrown (never been taught) dancers like the cool kid ryan just can't compete with a guy who's been learning how to dance for over a decade.
i really admire people who move well to music. i just to love dancing (back in my early days in college), but lately, i just don't dance anymore. i don't like doing it. i guess i'm self-conscious, not wanting to look like i'm having a fit of epilepsy. :) ha!
i'm having ramen tonight with the yujster tonight. an early dinner. i look forward to catching up with him; he's so passionate about stanford sports, and i always get the scoop on how the cardinal are going to do.
so now that J is coming to visit for a weekend, i got to plan on what we're going to do. i'll have to spend some time mapping out where we're going to go, what we're going to eat, etc. of course, one day will be spent in SF, but i'm not sure where or what we're going to do. either way, i am just happy to finally be able to see her again, after losing touch for 8 years. i hope she won't get bored, though.
is it weird that one of my ear canals smells different from the other canal? i pick my ears pretty often, and i usually smell the tips of my insertion finger afterwards. the left ear doesn't smell much like anything, but man, the right one has some *funk* to it! i wonder if it's infected or something.
anyways, life is just ho hum right now. night time has totally flip-flopped for me, i.e. i used to look forward to going to bed, but now i dread it. it really sucks, but sleep was a huge thing for me and my escaping my tics. and the worst thing is, i don't know how to change my situation. and i hope i don't become dependent on xanax (or benadryl when i get it).
ok, that's it for me today. see ya!