so a few days ago, i was watching this dateline episode about a girl who had very severe arachnophobia. she would completely freak out if she knew that there was a spider in the room, even if she couldn't see it. they showed some of her sessions with a therapist, and she got better really quickly.
i only bring that up because the night that i saw the episode, i had a nasty dream about HUGE spiders. and this one in particular had four really large white ivory fangs. *shiver*
and just what is a "holla back girl?" i have that gwen stefani song stuck in my head. the horror!
i've been trying to pinpoint why baseball puts me to sleep. i think it's the slow pace of the game, and the resulting pauses between the announcers' commentary. there's a certain rhythm to it that just lulls me sleep. *ponder*
anyways, alan always asks me what my hobbies are. last wednesday, he asked me again, and i thought about it, and i said that upkeeping my relationships with people is my hobby. it isn't easy to keep in touch with people, and friendships take a lot of work. i am all to aware that usually, *i* am the one who makes the call to people to do stuff, and that if i stopped working at it, i would never see anyone.
part of that sort of makes me bitter. it's like i'm the more caring person or something, a person who has to make all of the effort. *shrug* but i do it anyway, because otherwise, i'd be alone all the time (just like much of my weekends).
it's bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S! damn that song!
i think loneliness is one of the biggest reasons why people get into relationships. i mean, if you have a significant other, even mundane things (like running errands) are tolerable because you have someone to be with and to talk to.
anyways, i see my psych on wednesday. i'm not sure what to tell him, except that my experiment with going drug-free was a disaster. but i'm still very ticcy (and back on the meds), so what can i do now? increase my haldol even more? i'm starting to get afraid that i'll develop some nasty (permanent) side effects like tardive dyskinesia. *shivers*
ok, i gotta take a piss really badly. have a great day!
yup. that's all i did this weekend. three good meals.
the first came friday night when i met up with dave and carolyn for dinner at gombei. i wasn't very hungry since i had a big thai lunch at krung thai, so i got the chicken katsu curry. good shit. and, of course, it was great to see old college buddies.
saturday, i woke up around noon, had a bowl of cereal, and just putzed around. i am in the habit of finding a baseball game on tv at 2pm, and falling asleep until 5 or so. yes, i sleep a lot.
around 6 or so, i hopped in my car and drove all the way to the sequoia lodge in the oakland hills for jan and shaun's wedding reception. it was nice seeing some old friends again, and the food (mexican buffet with some jordanian dish) was pretty good. there was this white bucket of sauce that was blazing hot. i loved it.
i got home around midnight, and without sportscenter, i took around two and a half hours to fall asleep. geez. i have got to figure out a way to wean myself off of sportscenter. it's getting pretty ugly.
so sunday, i had lunch with jay at pho quyen. it was good seeing him, and i was flattered to see him wear the shirt i got for him for his birthday.
unfortunately, that was the only social thing i did on sunday. i took my regular 2-5 nap, and called people for dinner, but people either weren't in the mood for dinner or didn't respond. sigh.
anyways, that was it. nothing spectacular, and i am finding that i spend too much time by myself. ugh.