not much to report today. we had our usual semi-weekly company lunch today, and it was italian this time. however, the meats (chicken, beef and salmon) were all dry and nearly in-edible, so i was highly disappointed with the meal. ick.
my skin scars really easily. or maybe it's because i mess with the scabs and insect bites. either way, they leave some pretty bad-looking blemishes. this latest one was an insect bite of some sort, and while it was healing, i squeezed it to the point where the little bite bubble burst. and now, it's a permanent dark patch on my right wrist. man. i should leave my body alone sometimes, you know?
i need to shave. i usually go 3-4 days without shaving, and at that point, i've got noticeable stubble on my face and chin. and if i'm not going to grow a mustache/goatee (which i've done once before), i should just get my facial hairs permanently removed. yes, i'm that lazy.
yeah. i had a mustache/goatee before. it was about 5 years ago. it looked kind of cool (i thought), but i just didn't have the density to pull it off. and it was also very distracting; i'd spend a lot of time running my fingers through the long hair growth.
i am craving mongolian bbq right now. for me, it's sort of a rip-off because i pay $10 for only one bowl (it's all you can eat). but it's just soooo goood, especially with all the chili sauce that i put in. *smacks his lips* i'll be looking forward to it next week.
it's friday! i have no real plans for the weekend, except for sunday lunch with mallory. maybe i'll go to stacks with her. i love stacks. it's a great place to have brunch. notice how i'm having cravings for food? it's probably because i didn't eat much during the company lunch, with its nasty dry meats. the only thing i ate was some spaghetti and some fruit cocktail.
i was watching this "competitive eating" bit on espn the other night. it's sort of gross. i mean, eating 50 or so hot dogs is one thing, but at that hot dogs aren't a messy food. this time, the first round was: cheese fries. man, people's hands and faces got disgusting because of all the cheese. and think of all the cholesterol that their bodies have to deal with! man, if i had 3 pounds of cheese fries (the time limit was 5 minutes), then i'd probably have the runs or something.
anyways, take care people, and have a STUPENDOUS weekend!
man. i ripped my asshole while taking a dump today. it stung really badly when i wiped (twice), and there was bright red blood on the toilet paper. and now, sitting at my desk, i feel it stinging and throbbing. ouch!
how can i tell if i have hemorrhoids?
i had mongolian bbq today for lunch. *yum* usually, one of my coworkers convinces everyone to go, but he had been out of the country for a week and a half, so no mongolian bbq during that time. but he just came back from israel yesterday, and no doubt he had been craving it all this time.
last night, ting was occupied, so alan, being free, called me up and asked if i wanted to have dinner. even though i had already eaten my bowl of cereal (plus half of a rather large apple fritter), i bit on the opportunity to hang out with him and agreed to meet him at boston market at 6:45. it was really cool to just talk to him, one on one. we talked until about 8:00, and i went home very happy.
i miss good conversations. i don't have them very often these days (college was the best time for them, it seems), so i jump at the chance to have one. *bliss*
i wonder if male porn stars abstain from having sex before a film shoot, so they get a large backlog of spunk to blow out. frankly, though, i am not impressed if a guy is able to shoot a very large wad. is it supposed to be a sign of virility or manliness? hm. *ponder*
i think one of the biggest turn-on for me is if the girl is wet. most porn i've seen don't show evidence of "moistness," but the few scenes that i've seen where you can see the girl's juices lather on the guy's schlong, WOW-WEE. i dig that!
so what is this matcha drink that people are raving about? where can i try it?
i am a sucker for trying out new products (mostly food and drink) that i see on television ads. lately, the one i am debating over is taco bell's crunch wrap supreme. it just doesn't look good to me. taco bell, imho, has had a hit-or-miss record in its new products. gorditas, i like. chalupas, i don't like. the spicy chicken burrito, i like. and now this, the crunch wrap supreme. hm.
ok, that's it for today. be happy! tomorrow's friday!
so last night, i was flipping between the 8pm sportscenter and the AZN (asian) channel. AZN was broadcasting one of the _project A-ko_ movies. how many A-ko movies were there? does some anime buff know? anyways, this one had a reference to _kimagure orange road_ (KOR), which i found rather cool.
i used to be really into anime, and most specifically, KOR. i was in love with the character of ayukawa madoka, and my computer monitor was plastered with various shots of her. when i got my own server back at teralogic, i even named her "madoka." kind of pathetic, huh?
but nowadays, i equate watching anime with being lonely, especially when i watch the credits, which are paired with some j-pop song. i don't know why i make this connection, but maybe it's because i used to watch anime by myself, just like a lot of other lonely otaku's out there. *shrug*
so alan and ting are back, but it doesn't seem like i'll be able to see them that much. most of our meetings are during meals, but they gained so much weight on their alaskan cruise that they're back on phase 1 of the south beach diet, which is basically no carbs. and that translates to not being able to eat out. bummer. sigh.
during lunch in the cafeteria, i was surprised to see cwg (cute work girl) walk in. i waved and asked her how long she was going to be working here, and she said until the end of the week. now, those of you who read this blog back during early 2005 know that i had a major crush on her. but now, it's gone. i mean, i still think she's attractive, but i no longer obsess over her. which is good news, i think.
man, i have a lot of fat on my back. i can seriously pinch an inch there! it reminds me of the way a cat can carry its kittens by biting the offspring down on the scruff of its neck.
i would really like to go on a vacation. get away, you know? the problem is, i don't have a travel partner(s). i'm not the type to be able to go somewhere by myself; i'd get too lonely and bored, since i'm incapable of striking up conversation with strangers in a strange land. but yeah, i'd love to be somewhere that's not the office.
i might go to taiwan, though, to see my mom. i think she's doing better, but she's not well enough to live on her own in dallas; she needs my dad to take care of her. poor mom. i hope she gets healthy soon.
anyways, hump day is almost over. tomorrow, i need to get some work done. i'm such the king of procrastination.
take care, folks! i'll see you tomorrow.
so i played basketball today for the first time in maybe a month or so. i made one shot, and missed all my other attempts. and i still can't play a lick of defense. sigh. i was all tired and sweaty after only two games, so i left early and went back and grabbed lunch.
i guess this is good for me, right? exercise? hm. i'm just so fucking lazy, especially during these heat wave days in the bay area. if only there were a way to get healthy by lounging. :)
not much going on today. and i'm low on energy, so let's see how far i can make it in this blog entry.
after basketball, i got really dehydrated, despite finishing off a bottle of gatorade. so now i have a headache. arrgh.
there are two awesome flavors of gatorade. one of them, i don't think they make anymore. it was a translucent white liquid, and it tasted similar to "pocari sweat," this japanese sports drink. the other good flavor of gatorade is called "cool blue." yum. too bad safeway only has it in stock only sporadically.
there are three cd's i want to get, but haven't because i don't know how good they are. they're the new albums by oasis, nine inch nails, and morcheeba. does anyone have these, and are they any good? i've heard the latest singles from the first two on the radio, and they were rather lackluster. and as for the morcheeba album, i read that skye edwards (what a name!) doesn't sing anymore, and she was at least half of the attraction. i *love* her voice.
have you ever been in an elevator with people, and suddenly have the urge to fart? man! that happened to me the other day, and i was so uncomfortable. i developed this huge gas bubble in my colon, and i was just afraid to move my legs, for fear of accidentally cutting the cheese. *hides* luckily, i was able to make it into the bathroom without offending any one.
and worse than elevator farts is stairway farts. going up stairs requires your legs to move, so you have to walk really carefully, lest you fire a fart in someone's (behind you) face. eek!
alan and ting came back yesterday. i think i'm having withdrawal symptoms from not seeing them. sigh. after they moved out of my place, i've been carrying a little bit of sadness. yeah, i know i shouldn't get too attached to my friends, but i am. *shrug*
ok, today's entry has been rather scatterbrained. i shall try harder tomorrow to write some good stuff, ok? till then...
sigh. another monday. today for lunch, will and i met up with some old teralogic coworkers, allen and steve. it was good seeing them again. we met up in milpitas, in the ABC seafood plaza. they served this honey chrysanthemum tea, which was pretty tasty. afterwards, i stopped by quickly (for the first time) and ordered a pearl milk tea. it tasted a bit chocolate-ty, and i was a bit turned off by that.
i don't like chocolate. yes, i know that is heresy among some people, but i've just never been a fan of the stuff, except for corner pieces of a brownie.
so i got a message from someone who calls herself "giraffegirl." it's in the previous entry. i do appreciate the fact that my tics didn't turn her off. i guess i'm just afraid that i'll meet people who will be freaked out by my TS. i mean, who wants to go out with someone who twitches? i know that *i* would bother myself with all the tics.
i'm gaining weight, despite my cereal diet. my guess is that i'm just not expending any calories due to not exercising, and my metabolism has slowed down as a result of the "diet." i'm 170 now! (my low was 160.) anyways, i plan on resuming my bi-weekly basketball sessions. we'll see. i tell myself that i'm going to play, but when the time comes, i just balk at it because i'm a lazy ass.
oh! get this. while driving back from the city on saturday afternoon, i heard a radio station ad for this place called power exchange. basically, it's a place where you go and have sex with people. it's targetted toward homosexual people, but i found it fascinating that there are places like this. i mean, i guess it's legal because you're not paying anyone for sex, but i just wonder at the safety of such a place. i mean, they hand out condoms and stuff, but still, it seems sort of dirty. if i had balls, i'd go visit, but in the meantime, i guess i'll just fantasize about it for now.
i am out of candy. i need to make a run to mitsuwa sometime. i love japanese treats. they're so cute and tasty! *yum*
but yeah. power exchange. what an idea! i mean, i have fantasies about no-strings purely-physical sex, on one hand. but on the other hand, i know that sex is much better when there are emotions involved, and i don't think i'm quite bold enough to go out there into the world of casual sex. sigh. sometimes i wonder if i'd be happier if i were that bold. i mean, at least, i'd be getting some. shit, i haven't had sex in like 5 years!
anyways, that's it for today. toodles!
once again, the only highlights of this weekend were my meals. during the other parts of the day, i was bored silly. sigh.
so i didn't do anything friday night. just went to bed early. i set the alarm for 11am the next day, because that's when i needed to get up to head to the city.
yup, so i drove up to the city to meet up with hr girl. she moved from geary/taylor to the hyde/union area, and i got to see the insides of her apartment. the view was amazing!
we walked around union street, and ended up having lunch at left of albuquerque. this was my second time at this chain restaurant (the last time was the palo alto chain a few years ago), and i remember not being wowed by the food. this time, i ordered the cheese enchilada with chicken. you'd think they'd put the chicken inside the enchiladas, but no, they just threw the meat on top of the enchiladas. weak sauce, man. and the rice was green, flavored with tiny specks of cilantro, which i found rather gross.
but anyways, it was great to see hr girl again, after almost a year of not seeing each other. she's as hot as ever.
i got home around 3pm, and i took a nap to a baseball game. i woke up sweaty and gross. my apartment was hovering around 83-85 degrees the whole weekend. blech.
for dinner, i met up with the bowling gang at dusita, this thai restaurant near el camino/san tomas expressway. the food was so-so. the papaya salad was really spicy (which i liked), but the plate ("angry pork") that i expected to be the spiciest turned out to be mild, so that was a disappointment.
let's see... sunday i got out of bed at noon, and within an hour, i was taking a nap to yet another baseball game. same thing happened: i woke up all sweaty and disgruntled in the heat. i just putzed around all afternoon, and for dinner, i met up with paul and leeya at, of all places, jack in the box. it was good, because it was a cheap dinner.
and that was it. i have got to plan our my in-between-meals time better. weekends can't be all about the food, you know?
so last night, i was mesmerized by the espn _sportscenter_ behind the scenes show. so much goes into that one hour of television, it's amazing! the control room looks like something straight out of NASA, and it's just so neat to see how they run the show.
you'd think the sportscenter would simply be two people reading a teleprompter, but there's so much more going on. the stories get shuffled around, the anchors go through highlights by reading (and some ad-libbing) their crib sheets, and stuff like that. it looks very stressful and hectic.
anyways, it's friday, and i'm pretty happy about that. i'm sort of bothered by my tics, though. i'm back on a full dosage of my 3 medications, and even though things aren't as bad as when i was off meds, my TS is still very prominent and thus a pain in the ass. *RAAR*
last night, sleep was wonderful. there was a hint of chilliness in my room, and i took full advantage of that, snuggling my naked body under my covers. it was awesome. sigh. if only we could have winter bay area temperatures with summer sun, that would be perfection.
i know, i shouldn't complain about the bay area weather. there are places that are scorching at three-digit temperatures, and i'm complaining about it being 85 or so at home? yeah, i should be more grateful.
i watch _seinfeld_ and _friends_ reruns practically every night during the work week, and i've probably seen each episode at least twice. i'm so familiar with the two shows that certain characters are starting to really bug me. right now, the character i hate the most is monica. she's shrill, competitive, and self-centered, to name a few pejorative adjectives. if i were with her, i'd probably wind up killing her or myself to end the torture. hrmph. poor chandler.
as far as pants go, i am rotating through 3 pairs of mavi jeans. the problem is, they're getting so worn that every few months, i have to take them into the cleaners to get fixed up. like now, the jeans i am wearing today has a right ass pocket that's ripping. i don't know how much money i've spent on repairs, but it isn't non-negligible. maybe i should just go buy some new jeans. *ponder* does nordstrom still carry mavi's?
ok. it's almost time to go home. i don't have any major plans in the works, so once again, i'll have to wing it. hopefully, it doesn't turn out like last saturday. *shiver* what a waste.
what the fuck? it's raining outside! i have never seen rain in july in the bay area. and what's worse? i just had my car washed the other day! fuckity fuck fuck.
oh well. not much i can do about it, except to get another car wash when i fill up my gas.
the temperature is cooler out there, though, and i am looking forward to a night without heat and thus, some good sleep.
to clarify, i went to the sunnyvale costco yesterday to try out the chicken bake, not the mountain view location. so the only local alternative for food would have been to sweet tomatoes, but i hate that restaurant, along with the fresh choice branches. i just can't pay good money to eat mostly salad.
my pc is acting all wonky again. the internal fan starts spinning faster and faster, and it seems like the case is going to blow up, and then the fan slows down and repeats the whole process again. do any of you computer people out there know why it keeps doing that?
ugh. i'm so tempted right now. i'm so tempted to bite my nails. like i said, i usually go through them on mondays, but by now, some of them are ripe for some good chewing. i wonder if i can hold off for another 3 days or so.
so today is the third thursday of the month, so that means: ice cream social at the office! i don't know why i was craving ice cream of late, because i usually don't eat much of the stuff. i was in a meeting that dragged a little long, so i got there late. but no worries, getting there late meant 1) the lines were short and 2) the ice cream was soft and easy to scoop. i had three large scoops, two of cookies and cream and one of pistachio nut. i'm getting attached to the latter flavor, and the fact that it's green makes it all the more enjoyable.
if a guy has frequent anal sex (and he's the guy that gets penetrated), do his sphincter muscles eventually weaken to the point where he can't hold in his poo? i think that would be bad news.
the other night, while i was brushing my teeth, the vibration in my body must have jarred some earwax loose. i felt it tumble around in my ear canal, and then it fell out. i got on my hands and knees and searched for the wax nugget, but it was nowhere to be found. drat. i wanted to take a picture of it (as well as to smell it, as earwax has a certain odor that i don't mind experiencing).
last night, i watched a part of the american idol-inspired _so you think you can dance_, which is basically ai but with dancing instead of singing. it was cool to watch the good dancers go at it. it's a cool skill to have, and you can wow people with a groovy shakedown. and i think it's very similar to singing, i.e. good control of your body vs. good control of your voice. i might watch this show again.
ok, that's it for today. i'm looking forward to going back to a moderate-temperature home. :)
so yup, for lunch, will and i went to costco. i ordered a slice of cheese pizza and... a chicken bake. the latter was still being baked when i ordered, so i had to wait 20 minutes until it was ready. and damn, it was fucking hot! i had two layers of foil and one napkin between the chicken bake and my hand, but it was still getting burnt!
the verdict? yeah, it's sort of gross. i mean, at first, the chicken and the cheese tasted ok, in a decadent way, but after a while, it got old and kind of disgusting. the these things were HUGE! i finished about half of it and threw the rest away. it's sort of like a hot pocket, except much larger and less tasty. i'm not going to order it again, fyi.
i need a massage. maybe tomorrow i'll get one.
gotta go to safeway today. i finished my box of special k with vanilla almonds last night, so i need to get more cereal. i think i'm going to stick with this special k brand for a little while longer, because it's pretty tasty.
there's this new channel on cable, called azn (channel 69, great number :), and i've been watching it lately. it's billing itself as the asian american channel, and the two times i've watched it, there was interesting stuff on. two days ago, they broadcasted the chinese movie _together_, about a young violin prodigy and his dad. and last night, they showed one of the _project a-ko_ anime movies.
the psoriasis patch on my left foot burst for some reason, so now it's oozing out onto my sock. there's a visible stain on the sock where it touches the open wound. hehe, i feel like curt schilling!
i'm not sure what's going on with my brain going back on the haldol, but cigarette breaks aren't calming me down anymore. i find this very alarming, because i depend on these smoking sessions to keep me sane throughout the course of a day.
i think i'm losing touch with what's cool out there. for example, music. i try to listen to live 105 or channel 104.9 to see what's popular as far as music goes, but i don't like a lot of what i hear, especially the newer stuff. so instead, i tune into my trust oldies station (99.7). oy. it's a sign that i'm getting old. and un-hip.
i hate seeing people eating alone. i mean, i eat alone at home all the time, but outside, in restaurants or in my company's cafeteria, it just makes me sad.
anyways, i have two e-mails i need/want to write. (yes, both are to girls.) i just haven't been in the mood to think about what i want to say, so i've been putting it off. hm. maybe i'll do it tomorrow. ah, am i the king of procrastination or what?
hello folks. i don't feel like writing today, but we'll see.
my workweek and my weekends are complete opposites as far as hydration goes. at the office, i have about 6 vitasoy's and 2 dr pepper's, so i'm constantly taking a piss. what's good is that as the day gets later, my urine becomes clear. that's a good sign, right?
but weekends, i hardly drink anything except for maybe one bottle of gatorade. so i'm constantly dehydrated. lucky for me, the weekend is only two days long, so after that i'm back to drinking a lot.
speaking of drinking, it's been a long time since i've been drunk. the last time, i think, was during one of our house parties. and i haven't thrown a party in years. i'm at the point now that i don't remember what it's like to have a good buzz; i've had alcohol since then, but no matter how much i drink these days, i can't get a buzz. for example, at nicole's wedding back in may, i had SIX johnnie walker black's! and nope, i didn't feel a thing.
last night was the first in a while where i fell asleep peacefully without my trouble. i guess the temperature in my room was a bit cooler than normal. and i remember having a dream about baby chicks, but i forget what that was all about. although, i do recall explosions as well.
i need something to fixate on. like an obsession. i find that my days are very even keel, and there's nothing interesting going on, either in my life or in my head. my last fixation was cwg, but she's long gone, and i don't even find myself attracted to her anymore.
i had only six cigarettes yesterday. it's a local minimum, as i've been averaging 8-9 in the recent past. i seriously need to start thinking about quitting by the time i'm 30. i love smoking, but it's going to kill me if i keep doing it. sigh. why does it have to be so unhealthy?
i lost two of my porn videocassettes. i went to my stash the other day to watch them for old time's sake, but they weren't there! *RAAR* i fumbled around my entire closet, opening boxes (and breaking a sweat doing so), but they were nowhere to be found. sigh.
my favorite sexual positions are ones in which the two people involved are facing each other. non-facing-each-other positions (like doggy style, for instance) are just too impersonal. i think seeing the face of your partner during sex is a great and necessary thing, since it taps more into the emotional realm of sex than just the physical act. otherwise, you might as well be humping a canteloupe or a bowl of ramen (both of which are things that i have heard of).
and with that imagery, i shall sign off on this blog entry. toodles!
my memory is failing me. and i'm frustrated. i feel like my brain can be very snappy, but instead, it just sputters and putzes out. SO aggravating! it's like trying to run through a pool of molasses.
the next place i live must have air conditioning, i've decided. last night, it was yet another scorcher, and i tossed and turned until about 1am before i finally fell asleep. *RAAR* (i do have a fan, but it's very loud.)
sigh. another monday. the upcoming week looks long, especially given how i sort of wasted my weekend without doing much of anything good.
so how old were you when you first discovered a gray hair? i had some already back in high school, and now, my hair is peppered all over the place with specks of gray. it's genetic, and i remember getting paid a nickel for every hair i plucked from my parents when they were around my age.
i have a relentless desire to pluck hair. i used to spend hours in front of the mirror plucking my chin hairs (rather than shaving them like a normal person). nowadays, i just pluck my cheek and nose and nipple hairs. k2 gave me this personal hygiene set from nordstrom for one of my birthdays, and it came with these really good tweezers. ah, tweezers. (by the way, the sharper image also sells a good one, one that's diamond-coated at the tips for extra grip. i've tried it, and it rocks!)
i've noticed how some guys are really bashful at peeing in public. for example, just now, i went to go take a leak, and the urinal next to me was open. in came a co-worker, and instead of using the unoccupied urinal, he went into the stall to go do his business. hm. bashful! what is up with that? (i know he wasn't in there to take a dump because his feet were facing the toilet the whole time.)
has anybody heard NIN's latest album? is it any good? i was a huge fan of his earlier work. i also own _the fragile_, but it got stolen before i had a chance to listen to it. but that one song trent does on the radio these days, "the hand that feeds," isn't very good, imho.
man, this blog entry is just like the dump i took today: long and painful, with a lot of straining. so i'll just cut it short today. hopefully tomorrow i'll have more to say.
wow, i really didn't have a good weekend. i have got to do something about my laziness.
friday night, we met up at tomatina once again for a quick dinner before a movie at the AMC mercado. this time, it was _fantastic four_, which didn't suck as much as i thought it would. i guess i had low expectations, so i just took in the movie without my judgment. and jessica alba is pretty fucking hot.
saturday was the worst way to spend a free day. get this: i wake up at 1pm, take a nap from 3 to 5pm, skipped dinner (i had a bowl of cereal the entire day), and went to bed at 8. pretty bad, huh?
sunday was more of the same, but at least i got out to meet a few people for dinner at the cheesecake factory. that place is expensive! i got the spicy chicken chipotle pasta for $14.50, and a slice of banana cream cheesecake for $6.50. throw in a few bucks for the fried calamari appetizer, and it was a $30 meal! sheeeiiit...
anyways, that's for my weekend update. i hope next weekend turns out better.
it's friday. *huzzah*
unfortunately, i'm staying at the office later than i need to (only by about half an hour) because i'm watching _fantastic four_ at the mercado, and i don't want to go home and then come back out.
i got up at the ripe time of 8:20 this morning. i drove alan and ting to the airport. sigh. two weekends without them. i know i don't see them that often, and i know it's less than two weeks, but i'll still miss them. sigh.
so it looks like friendster moved out of some guy's basement and into a real building! yup, they have an address now. and guess what? it's the exact same building as where my old company used to be! 1380 villa street, hehe. that building has this huge gym-like place with pipes and a very high ceiling. it's like working in a warehouse. back then, we spruced it up with color kites.
i am pondering a trip to taiwan. i really need to go back there so see my mom. poor mom, wracked by depression, menopause, and empty nest syndrome. it's weird, because lately, i've grown to love my family a lot more. i know time spent with them is precious, and i have developed a lot more affection for those three. sigh. if only we were immortal.
i'm wearing one of my two oasis t-shirts today. but if i had more forethought, i should have worn my paul frank t-shirt. why? to get a rise out of mike, of course! :) that boy doesn't understand that men as well as women can wear paul frank clothes. it's cute!
i got some sort of weird bug bite on my right wrist. it's like a circular red patch with a dot in the middle. what is this? i remember reading something about this configuration being a sign of a certain kind of bite, but i forget what it is. is it a tick? do i have lyme disease? *shiver*
alan keeps asking me if i have a hobby. and i always shake my head and say no. yes, i am a man with absolutely no hobbies, unless you call watching sportscenter a hobby. and i need to fix that. i don't want to be a boring person.
i keep flaking out on basketball. i mean, every tuesday and thursday, i tell myself i need to get back out on the court, but by the time i should get ready to go, i always balk and go get lunch. i'm not getting any exercise, and i think that's the reason why i'm gaining eight, even with my cereal diet. i'm almost 170 now.
oh, and the cereal i got yesterday was special k with vanilla and almonds. i love vanilla, and i think i like this better than the special k with red berries.
anyways, it's time to respond to some of my e-mails. take care and have a wonderful weekend!
hello folks. i'm munching on my gummy muscat candy. they're good, and what's better is if you eat more than one at the same time to get a bigger gummy experience. i ate five at once a few minutes ago, and i really enjoyed it. it was a mouthful of bouncy flavorful fun!
it've got an unpoppable zit on my face. it's on my left cheek, and i went into the bathroom with the intention of popping it. so i squeezed and squeezed, and it hurt, but no poppage. *RAAR*
the indian food (at sneha) i had with alan last night wasn't going down very well last night. i kept on burping, and i could feel the food makes its way back up my esophagus. i didn't puke or anything, but it was just really uncomfortable.
sigh. so no alan (and ting) for the next two weekends. i have to get up early (read: 8:20 or so) to take them to the airport tomorrow. i hope traffic isn't too bad; i've rarely ever driven on the 101 during rush hour, since i go to work so late that i miss the normal commute times.
i had a gruesome dream this morning where pierce brosnan got stuck in this big contraption. the machine spun him around (sort of like a potter's wheel) and shaved him to death with huge blades. there was blood everywhere. ick. i wonder how that dream came about.
uh oh. i've developed the hiccups.
/five minutes later/
ok, now they're gone. i'm not sure what i did to get rid of the hiccups, but i did try deep breathing and holding my breath.
i've recently discovered that pinching my nipples is a sure-fire way of getting them hard instantly. not that there's any benefit of having narps or anything, but i find that reflex sort of interesting.
i'd love to be a girl for one day just to satisfy my curiosity of how certain things feel on my body. as a guy, i just can't understand how sex or nipple play feel, you know? if i were a girl, i'd play with my breasts and my clitoris constantly. and the biggest curiosity would to see how an orgasm feels. (or better yet, a g-spot orgasm) it's not fair that a girl's orgasm lasts much longer than a guy's. i mean, it still feels good to the guy, but it's like over in a few seconds.
and yes, i've witnessed a g-spot orgasm first hand before. so it's not a myth. :) the first time it happened, though, i thought the girl had pissed all over me. !!
i was pleasantly surprised that alan called me today to see if i wanted to have dinner. usually, i'm the one who does the calling; it seems like people forget about me if i don't remind them. but anyways, we're having dinner at sneha. they leave on friday for a wedding in canada, and then they're off to an alaskan cruise. so i won't see them for the next two weekends.
my hair is out of control. i must look like i got electrocuted or something, because there are tufts of it that poof in all sorts of weird directions. i will get a haircut tomorrow, i think. it's about time, over a month since i got my last one. i will wear a hat to dinner so alan doesn't make fun of me. :)
damn this weather. last night, it was 81 degrees downstairs, so it must have been at least 85 or something in my second-floor bedroom. i was all squirmy and uncomfortable for a long time, even though i was naked. the weird thing is, i can't sleep without my blankets over me, even though it's too hot with them on. so when it's too hot for blankets, i just can't get any sleep at all.
i am digging this calpis candy. it's a hard candy, so i flip over and over in my mouth, and after a while, there is a lot of fluid buildup in my mouth from the dissolved candy. then i swallow. and repeat.
i wonder how they shoot porn for magazines. i mean, now, since they are allowed to show penetration and stuff, what happens? are the models actually having sex? or are they sort of having sex, pausing once in a while for the photographer to snap a picture? the latter would seem to be a turn-off... it must be hard to the guy to maintain his boner if he has to stop frequently.
i wonder how i will react when i find my kid's porn stash. will i freak out or will i just smile knowing that he's going through a normal phase? what actions will i take? will i talk to him, or say nothing? hm.
parenting seems like it would be a tough job. do they have classes for this sort of topic? i hope i turn out to be a good dad. with my parents, sex-ed was sort of nonexistent. i remember them telling me that i could ask whatever questions i had, but i was so shy and embarrassed by the topic that whenever it would come up (like a love scene in a movie), i would run away. thank goodness for porn!
ok, time for a cigarette break. bye!
we went to mitsuwa (the japanese supermaket on saratoga and 280) for lunch today, and after i had my mediocre tonkatsu curry, i bought some japanese candy. of note, i got some lychee haichews, and boy, are they tasty shit. i also got some muscat gummy's, calpis hard candies, and wasabi shrimp chips. yay for japanese snacks!
i am feeling a little restless these days. i get to a point where i'm sitting still, and i feel this impending eruption starting in my lower diaphragm area going up. and then, i have to move or tic, or else i feel like i'm going to explode. hm. i wonder what's going on over there.
i'm supposed to go to stanford tonight and attend the taiko group's dress rehearsal. i don't think i'm going to go, though. i feel a little tired, and it's not like i'm going to give any constructive feedback to the group either. they'll do fine in LA. i am so proud of them. *bliss*
i've got like three dark bumps on the back of my neck. and every few weeks or so, i'm able to scratch at them and peel a dark piece of skin off the bumps. does anyone have this skin problem? i used to have what a dermatologist called a "scaly spot" there, but instead of a large spot, now it's like three dots.
so i'm going to finish my box of special k with red berries tonight. what kind of cereal should i get next? what's tasty out there? so far, in this stretch of my cereal diet, i've had quaker wheat squares, crispix, life, honeycombs, and special k.
the weather's getting hot out there. last night, it was about 79 degrees at 8pm. that's pretty bad, because my bedroom, which is on the 2nd floor, is even hotter. after my shower, i just lay on my bed naked and watched tv. it was a while before i was able to get underneath the covers and not be too hot.
i hate the heat!
i think i need to get some nose hair trimmers. every few weeks or so, i get one or two nose hairs sticking out of my nose. my current solution? i pluck with them tweezers. it HURTS, and sometimes i even tear up after plucking them out. yech.
i am petrified that when i renew my driver's license (which expires this november), they'll make me take the written test. one of my friends took it recently, and i looked at his questions, and they were hard! and you can only miss like 3 questions before you fail. *shivers* don't tell me i have to study before i take the test!
sigh. it's only tuesday. this week is going by at a snail's pace.
howdy there, folks. my left shoulder is killing me right now. whenever i try to raise my left arm, this pain explodes in my shoulder. i don't know what happened. maybe i slept on it funny. the problem is, i usually see my chiropractor for this (and he's been able to perform minor miracles), but i don't want to see him because he'll bug me about going on that diet. i hate guilt trips.
i wonder what sportscenter will be like tonight and tomorrow night. usually, during the summer, it's all about baseball, but with the all-star game coming up tomorrow, there will be no other games happening today. so how are they going to fill an hour-long show with no highlights? that's what i want to see.
i think i am getting fat because of what i drink during the workweek. let's see here... six vitasoy's and two dr peppers equals about 1080 calories per day that i consume. yikes!
so i'm back to my regular dosage of haldol (8mg a day). i still tic, but they're not as relentless compared to when i was completely off the drug. and cigarettes are starting to calm me down again, even though it's not at the level where i was before.
i've noticed that my turds aren't as hard as they used to be. they're kind of soft these days, which is bothersome because i have to wipe harder. i still fold my toilet paper and wipe twice.
i need to do my hair more. saturday night, i looked at myself in the window at cafe verde, and i didn't like what i saw. my hair was all fucked up, and it made me look really bad. i guess i don't care what i look like during the workdays, but at least on weekends, when i go out, i should gel my hair. i'm just hesitant to do it because it takes a decent amount of gel to do it right, and that stuff (american crew) is expensive.
re: the snowballing comments in my post last friday. yeah, i think it shouldn't be a problem to swallow somebody's spunk. i mean, yeah, it doesn't taste like a vanilla shake, but at least it doesn't taste bad in my opinion. i don't mind it. so if a girl were to take a load in her mouth, and she doesn't want to swallow it, i'd rather her snowball it back to me rather than go to the bathroom to spit, which i find to be a turn-off.
one thing that i find rather gross is when a girl takes the load in her ass, and she tastes the spunk. that is downright unsanitary! who knows what kind of funky deadly bacteria (e coli?) live up there, and to ingest it is just a bad idea, isn't it?
i am not a big fan of penne pasta. even with sauce, it's hard to get any flavor into the noodle for whatever reason. it always tastes bland to me. i was bummed out to find that pasta pomodoro no longer carries the gemelli dish; instead, they replace the gemelli pasta with penne, and that causes a big drop in the tastiness of the dish. sigh.
all righty-o, that's enough for today. bye!
shit, i typed this whole thing out, and it disappeared on me. *RAAR*
friday night, i went to bed early. i called around a bit for dinner, but alan and jay weren't around, so i just had my bowl of cereal and called it a night.
saturday, barden and i drove down to san jose for the annual obon festival. we met up with dishi, sharon, steve and linda (and kimi-ann of course). i ate twelve mediocre potstickers and one imagawa-yaki. and then, we watched paul for dinner plans. i headed over to his place early to hang out a bit, and i watched an HD recording of jay leno with jessica alba. damn, she is hot. i'd do her. :)
dinner was 8 of us at korea house. i felt a little bad for ordering non-communal food (kim chee dol sot bop), but to my credit, i didn't touch the communal meat and just ate my entree in peace.
afterwards, we went to the cafe verde in cupertino. i don't know if i like cupertino. i can't believe i'm saying this, but there are too many chinese people there. i was a little uneasy among all the young chinese teenagers coming in and out. fob city!
i got back after midnight, and without sportscenter, i didn't fall asleep until 3-4am. damn. it sucked. so i let myself stay in bed a little longer, and i got out of bed on sunday at 1:30pm. and then, i took another nap! yup, i was a lazy butt.
i stopped by safeway, grabbed two fruit trays, and then headed over to steve and linda's place for a taiko potluck. this was a send-off to the group as they inch closer to performing at the big taiko jam concert in LA next weekend. it was nice hanging around these young, rambunctious college folk, but i felt a bit out of place and just a tad old.
i went back around 8:30 and just prepared for bed. man. all this taiko stuff really makes me wish i was still in the group. but i guess there is a time to do it, and a time to say goodbye to it and make my peace.
howdy people. cheer up, it's friday!
i don't have that many plans in place yet. i might go to the san jose obon festival in j-town tomorrow, and sunday night there is a taiko potluck that i'm thinking of going to. i'm not that psyched about the potluck, though, because i've pretty much grown away from the current group. i'm really proud of them, though, because they are the first collegiate taiko group ever to play at the big conference in LA. go stanford taiko!
my nailbiting schedule is all out of whack. i usually trim them with my teeth on mondays, but lately, they haven't been in "bite-able" form on those days. so i let them grow out, and i chew them off whenever they're nice and ripe. right now, i have some really short nails and some decent long ones.
i am craving an apple fritter right now.
i can't tell for sure, but i think the haldol is making me feel a little better. and now, i am afraid to say that i'll stay on this med for a while. i just don't want to go through what happened to me on wednesday, when i was a mad manic ticcing machine. ick.
i know that this was a short workweek, but it just felt really long. i'm glad to make it to friday, but i am afraid that the weekend will pass by too quickly, and i'll be facing a full week coming up on monday. sigh.
i am behind on e-mail. if you've written me and i haven't written back, i apologize. i haven't been very e-chatty recently, but i promise i'll get to them. maybe after i finish this post.
i don't think this cereal diet is working. you'd think that if all i ate was a decent-sized lunch and a bowl of cereal for dinner, i'd be able to lose some weight. but in fact, i've gained like 2 pounds. i wonder if it's because of all the vitasoy and dr pepper i'm drinking. i don't snack, but i do drink a lot of liquids, calorie-wise. i must say, though, special k with red berries is pretty damn tasty. maybe my bowl of cereal is too big. *ponder*
i really need to deal with my earwax. i got like a twelve-pack of ear drops from one of my doctor friends, but i am reluctant to use them. the last time i used something (i think it was called "murine') to dissolve my earwax, the liquid got stuck in my ear, and i felt like i was underwater or something. it was really aggravating and annoying, and on top of it all, it didn't work.
i don't like ham.
i keep getting spam about this product called "SPUR-M," which supposedly increases the volume of ejaculate a man can produce. i wonder how it works. i mean, how do you stimulate your body to create more spunk? the ad tries to sell the product saying something like, "be like a porn star! shoot a big load!" but why would you care how much spooge comes out? is it more "manly" to shoot a big wad? personally, i'd rather make less of a mess.
anyways, that's it for this week. have a great saturday and sunday folks!
man, yesterday was bad. i was ticcing so badly throughout the day that by the time i was getting ready for bed, i was all nauseated and stuff. after i got out of the shower, i rushed over to the toilet to throw up part of my dinner. ick.
so today, i am back on haldol. 4mg, and so far, i do feel a little bit better. yay for being permanently medicated. :/
not much going on today. last night, i got bored, so i pulled out my (small) stash of porn magazines. i only own one penthouse, two clubs, and one hustler. that's it. somewhere in the middle (between the oldest and newest mags), though, they allowed photo shots of penetration and contact between genitals. when did that happen? i have to say, i like seeing the real thing rather than staged "almost touching" shots. the latter feels like a tease.
i am having trouble falling asleep. last night, it took almost 4 hours. i was in bed a little after 8, and didn't fall asleep until after the final sportscenter at midnight. i know that maybe i'm going to bed too early, but that's only part of it. i noticed that i'm very jittery in bed these days, ticcing and tossing and turning. it's like i can't get into a relaxed state, and i can feel all this electricity running through my body. yuck.
i really need to get off my ass the make an appointment for a physical. and on top of that, i need my earwax cleaned out. every night, when i'm lying on my right side, i can hear/feel the earwax in my left ear settle. it makes a crunching sound, and it's really annoying. i think it's affecting my hearing, too!
it's pretty cold at the office lately. i like it. however, one strange thing is that only one of my nipples start narping. like right now, my left one is hard and pointy, but my right nipple is all mushy. what gives?
i like a decent-sized nipple on a girl. a size that's noticeable when narping. i was with a small-nippled girl once, and it was a turnoff... there wasn't much to grab or pinch or chew, and it made the breasts unattractive as a whole.
do guys like getting their nipples licked? personally, i don't care for it. it doesn't feel like much of anything. but apparently, girls have more sensitive nipples, i think. and i was surprised once to find out that the girl liked me to bite them really hard. if someone did that to me, i'd scream out in pain.
cwg just logged on AIM. i don't feel anything. it's sort of embarrassing that i had such a crush on her. and now i don't. it bugs me, how fleeting my affection is. how can i be sure that i'll stay in love with someone if i can change my mind so easily? that bugs me.
hello all. i am having a horrible time with my tics. they are almost constant, unless i prop up my arm on my head to relieve the tension in my neck. :( so i'm sad today.
i'm sad that if i'm not permanently medicated, i can't function with my tourette's. sigh. i was going to take a week to see how i would be, but this is really unbearable, and i think i'm going to go back on my drugs pretty soon. *RAAR*
well, now at least i know. before, i wasn't sure if the haldol was doing anything for me, so that's why i decided to get off of it. it was a little experiment. and even though i still tic on 8mg of haldol a day, at least it's not as frequent. and, as an added bonus, smoking has been shown to help accentuate the effects of haldol, so my cigarette breaks will be more peaceful. these days, cigarettes do nothing for my tics, and i'm lucky i haven't burned myself. !!
i'm having ramen with the yujster tonight. it should be fun catching up with him. we usually meet up for ramen on tuesdays (don't know why, but it just happens that way), but today's an exception. and besides, it's only one day off. :)
so i'm finally done with my huge box of honeycombs cereal. next up, special k with red berries. i usually try to peace my cereal eating such that i finish the box and the half gallon of milk at the same time. yesterday, i was able to achieve that, except that i had way more milk than cereal. i drank all the milk anyway, and i wound up farting all night in bed due to my milk overdose. luckily, it was just gas, and not the runs.
my knees are getting better. they're only slightly red now, instead of the crimson glow that they had the day they got burnt. so i'm going to switch back to wearing pants tomorrow to work and look more presentable. i am still puzzled, however, as to why other similarly-exposed parts of my body didn't get burnt. (my nose is peeling, though.)
i must remind myself not to get sprouts in my ramen tonight. i hate bean sprouts.
back to the ticcing topic. even though i am ticcing a hell of a lot more, my brain feels "freer" without the medication. there's no cloud over my mind, and i feel like things are clearer and more vibrant. shit. i hate to give up my sharp mental state, but damn, i just can't function with all these tics. i guess there's a give-and-take to this whole disorder. whatever. life sucks.
so i'm completely off haldol now. i am ticcing a lot more, and what's worse, smoking doesn't help, and neither does lying down. i'm going to give myself one more week of this before deciding if i should get back on the medication.
the bummer (if i do get back on haldol) is that i seem to be peppier. my friend will noticed today that i have more of a bounce in my step, and i seem to be happier instead of all lethargic and shit. sigh. i guess there are trade-offs, huh?
yesterday, i bought this rice krispie treat. it wasn't made by kellogg's, but some third party. it was very big, like a brick of rice. i ate the whole thing in about half an hour, and it was a whopping 690 calories total! man. i don't think i'll be getting it again, because it tasted a little salty. ick.
not much going on today. because of my frequent tics, and all the energy it takes to combat them, i'm feeling a little tired today. i just want to go home and sleep. hm.
yesterday, espn aired a story about this guy walked all the way from his home in arizona to wrigley field in chicago. it took him almost 6 months. it's a wonder that he didn't get bored, because i surely would if i did that. and what's amazing is that he walked those 2000+ miles on one pair of reebok's!
my tongue is out of control. it keeps coming out and licking all these areas near my lips. it's like the bottom half of my face is constantly covered with my own saliva. i wonder if this is tardive dyskinesia, a side effect of the haldol. either that, or i just like licking things. :)
i wore shorts to work today. that caused a bit of head-turning, since very few people (if any) wear them at the office. but i was afraid that if i put on my standard pair of mavi jeans, they would chafe my sunburnt knees. they're still red, although not glowing red like they were two days ago.
i saw a semi-cute girl at the day at the meadow on sunday. she was wearing this short navy blue skirt. i love skirts (and dresses) on women. it's so feminine, you know? not that i mind girls wearing jeans or pants, but once in a while, it's nice and refreshing to see a girl in a sundress or a nice flowy skirt.
has anybody seen _war of the worlds_ yet? is it any good? it got only two stars from roger ebert, and not that i agree with him 100%, but i used his judgment as a baseline for seeing how good a movie is.
i can't believe it's july already. man, where did this year go?
well, i'm back! not that i went anywhere, but i'm blogging again.
friday night, i had pho with alan and ting. they were going to be busy both saturday and sunday with a wedding, so i didn't expect to see them during the weekend. sad.
saturday, i was completely bored out of my mind. i called a few people looking for stuff to do, but the search proved to be fruitless. so i took a nap on the couch with the usual baseball game to lull me to sleep. i did have dinner with paul and mike c at pizza chicago. mike got ravioli, and paul and i each ate half a pizza (the great chicago fire). it was hearty but good, although i was disappointed they didn't put enough garlic.
during dinner, paul invited me to channel 104.9's "day at the meadow," this benefit music festival in san jose. as i was lacking anything to do on sunday, i happily agreed to go. we were there from noon until 6pm, and the bands (mostly small unknowns) weren't very good. we left while bowling for soup was setting up. i would have liked to have seen them, but i was tired of the sun.
my knees are badly burnt from sunday. they were glowing bright red for two days, and only now is the color slowly starting to fade.
anyways, after the day at the meadow, four of us hit a pho place (my third pho dinner in 5 nights) in san jose somewhere, and i went home and hit the sack.
monday was another boring day. i did call jeremy up, and we chatted for half an hour. i had previously talked to him on saturday, but their newborn daughter started screaming, and i had to let him go. i love jeremy, and i hope he and kate return to the bay area someday. i took another nap to a baseball game to while away the time.
i had dinner at chili's with jay, margaret, alan and ting, and it was so nice to see the group again. i showed off my knees, and alan kept on asking me if i needed some aloe. i got the cajun chicken pasta, which i must remember to never order again. it wasn't very good. afterwards, we hung out at alan's new house for a bit, and then i went home and went to bed.
all in all, a decent weekend, although i really need to find some things to do during the day. we'll see. maybe i'll start reading books or something.
so i was surfing orkut yesterday, and i found a cute girl. the thing is, though, is that she's got a tongue piercing. hm. i would be hesitant to have her give me head, for fear of the piercing getting jammed into my penishole. OUCH. *shivers*
anyways, it's friday! yay! and what's better, it's a long weekend! double yay!
i was planning on going to mike's santa cruz beach bbq, but i didn't want to drive myself there. so i was looking for rides, and it seems that everyone i know is getting there early, like FIVE AM or some ungodly hour. why are they going to early? one, they want to stake out a spot on the beach, and second, they want to fish. so now i don't have a ride, and i'm wondering how the hell i'm going to get there.
for the past two nights, it's been oven-hot in my bedroom. it cools down around 10pm or so. but before that, i'm just lying naked on my bed without the covers on. it's not very snuggly at all; i need blankets to snuggle with in order to fall asleep. i hope there aren't many more hot nights, but with summer just starting up, i'm afraid of the reality of the weather.
is it normal to have apples in cole slaw? lunch today was a bbq theme, and i was excited that they had cole slaw. i don't know that many people that like the stuff, but i sort of dig the horseradish-y flavor. well, today's cole slaw didn't have much horseradish, and to top it all off, there were chunks of apples in it. ick. not that i have anything against apples, but they just don't belong in cole slaw.
i hope i get to hang out with some people this weekend. for the past few weekends, i've been idling at home, and it's starting to get very old and boring.
hm. i had a childhood anecdote to share with y'all, but i forgot it. damn, i am really getting old and senile. memory retrieval takes a lot longer lately, if it completes at all.
so i can't really tell if i'm ticcing more now that i'm almost off haldol completely. but i don't feel any different. in fact, i think i've been having more random thoughts lately, which is a good sign for this blog. i sort of miss my old self, posting up to 10 blog entries a day about random subjects. my theory all along was that the haldol was killing my brain's spontaneity, but we shall see if my blogging pattern changes in the coming days.
so that's it. have a STUPENDOUS 3-day weekend, folks!