man, yesterday was bad. i was ticcing so badly throughout the day that by the time i was getting ready for bed, i was all nauseated and stuff. after i got out of the shower, i rushed over to the toilet to throw up part of my dinner. ick.
so today, i am back on haldol. 4mg, and so far, i do feel a little bit better. yay for being permanently medicated. :/
not much going on today. last night, i got bored, so i pulled out my (small) stash of porn magazines. i only own one penthouse, two clubs, and one hustler. that's it. somewhere in the middle (between the oldest and newest mags), though, they allowed photo shots of penetration and contact between genitals. when did that happen? i have to say, i like seeing the real thing rather than staged "almost touching" shots. the latter feels like a tease.
i am having trouble falling asleep. last night, it took almost 4 hours. i was in bed a little after 8, and didn't fall asleep until after the final sportscenter at midnight. i know that maybe i'm going to bed too early, but that's only part of it. i noticed that i'm very jittery in bed these days, ticcing and tossing and turning. it's like i can't get into a relaxed state, and i can feel all this electricity running through my body. yuck.
i really need to get off my ass the make an appointment for a physical. and on top of that, i need my earwax cleaned out. every night, when i'm lying on my right side, i can hear/feel the earwax in my left ear settle. it makes a crunching sound, and it's really annoying. i think it's affecting my hearing, too!
it's pretty cold at the office lately. i like it. however, one strange thing is that only one of my nipples start narping. like right now, my left one is hard and pointy, but my right nipple is all mushy. what gives?
i like a decent-sized nipple on a girl. a size that's noticeable when narping. i was with a small-nippled girl once, and it was a turnoff... there wasn't much to grab or pinch or chew, and it made the breasts unattractive as a whole.
do guys like getting their nipples licked? personally, i don't care for it. it doesn't feel like much of anything. but apparently, girls have more sensitive nipples, i think. and i was surprised once to find out that the girl liked me to bite them really hard. if someone did that to me, i'd scream out in pain.
cwg just logged on AIM. i don't feel anything. it's sort of embarrassing that i had such a crush on her. and now i don't. it bugs me, how fleeting my affection is. how can i be sure that i'll stay in love with someone if i can change my mind so easily? that bugs me.