man, what a frustrating day at work. basically, i got assigned this monster task of re-coding some c-models. originally, it was assigned to somebody else, but that person just threw it over the fence to me. motherfucker.
sorry for not blogging yesterday. i was feeling a little shitty (probably remnants from my illness over the weekend), so i went home at 2pm and just slept to the sounds of espn.
i've been having trouble sleeping lately. i'm in bed by 8pm usually, but i don't fall asleep until past midnight. that's FOUR HOURS of tossing and turning in my bed. hm. maybe i'll have my psych prescribe me some sleeping pills or something.
i've been in a sad mood lately. i think it all started when i went to jay's birthday party on saturday. i realized that of the dozen or so people there, i was the only single person in the entire house. and that just made me feel really down about my life. i mean, all of these people have somebody to share their lives with, and what do i have? a relationship with my tv? bah. :(
anyways, not much going on. i feel oddly compelled to finish this bag of pretzels on my desk, but they've worn out their welcome. the first bite (the crunch and the saltiness) is good, but after a while, i just start to get thirsty, and they no longer taste good anymore. but what to do? do i just throw the bag away? nope. i just force myself to finish it. what a martyr i am!
i've had a weird relationship with food i don't like. as a child, if i told my parents i didn't like to eat something, my dad would force me to eat more of it, as some sort of weird punishment. and this is why he used to buy slices of swiss cheese and force-feed them to me, even though i hated it. heh. because of that, sometimes i dare myself to eat something, even though i know it's nasty. weird, huh?
sigh. television is so boring in the summer. i know there are some new reality shows, but honestly, that stuff is getting boring. i want to stuff with high-quality writing! give me a good drama, a sitcom, anything that isn't about real-life people getting eliminated from some sort of contest.
i need to expand my circle of friends. to my sadness, peter has gone. (he's off to bethesda for two years to do medical research.) and next summer, jay will head off to alabama for his one-year facial plastics fellowship.
i'm not so sure when i became so dependent on my friends for social stimulation. when i was a kid, i was an only-child for my first ten years of existence, and i occupied myself just fine. but, it seems, sometime during college, i realized that i needed other people around me to be happy. i lost my independence. and it's only gotten worse ever since.
anyways, that is all i have to say today. have a good day!