man, debugging can be a pain in the ass sometimes. especially in my situation, where the stuff worked, and now that i've added somebody else's new stuff, it fails and hangs. *RAAR*
i don't watch the _american idol_ results show because it conflicts with _alias_. so i was pretty surprised this morning to find out that constantine was voted off. man. i mean, he didn't sing well, but he gave a good performance, and i was sure scott savol was going to get booted off. i mean, how the hell did this bloke make it to the top five??!
i actually taped _alias_ last night. i didn't feel like waiting up for it, so i just went to bed at 8 and let the vcr tape the show. i have really grown into a lazy sloth, haven't it? going to bed at 8 every night? sheesh.
we had lunch today at a burger joint. it's called "juicy burger," near the kiely and el camino intersection. what's odd, though, is that aside from basic burgers, they sell baklava. what, are the owners greek or something? but, seeing as how i love baklava, i had to get a piece. it was good. *smacks his lips*
i have a zit right in the middle of my forehead. since when did my skin get so bad? sigh. gonna have a great time popping it tonight, though. i love squeezing out that white squiggly matter. it's like toothpaste!
so one of my coworkers pissed off another yesterday. to make amends, the offender bought the offendee a bunch of different brands of cigarettes. and it seems today that all is well now. i find this amusing because it's like bribing a baby by giving him a toy to make him like you again. who would have thought that cigarettes would also do the trick? :)
it's not short-sleeve weather yet. oh, aside from that, it POURED last night. the rain was so loud that i couldn't sleep during certain parts of the night. it was a little sunny this morning, so i put on a short-sleeve fitted polo shirt. but man, that was the wrong choice. i am freezing here at the office; my extremities are particularly cold. i hope they won't have to amputate!
i am not looking forward to growing older. why? because from what i've heard in the company bathroom, older guys have massive bowel/GI tract problems. you should hear what goes down in the toilet stalls. lots of gas, lots of wet-sounding diarrhea, lots of smelliness. *shivers*
i'm currently wondering why it is that i take dumps so infrequently. it's not like i am constipated. i've had constipation and know how uncomfortable that feels. i just don't get why my body only feels like excreting every 3-4 days. and so far, those shitting days only occur when i'm at work, which is good, because i doubt the toilets back at my place can handle the girth of the stool.
yay. 5pm has struck. going home soon!
as far as _american idol_ goes, it's gotta be scott savol who goes. he didn't do a very good job last night, and even simon proclaimed that scott should pack up his suitcase. so hopefully, so long, pudgy-fingered chubby thug!
i've been having some good dreams lately. very involved dreams. not that i can remember any of them, but i do recall waking up in the middle of my sleep and still thinking about the dream like it was real life.
i just came back from a 2nd floor gummy peach ring and vitasoy expedition. we're all out on the 3rd floor, so i had to make a special visit to the land of the 2nd floor cubicles. grabbed myself two vitasoy's and three bags of peach rings. yum, i say.
ick. i just found a pube on my desk here. it's a little short to be mine. !!??
speaking of hairs, i've been finding a few hairs in my food during certain meals outside in restaurants. i've always assumed that they're mine because they are short and black, and who knows, i might be shedding eyebrows or something. but if they're not mine, then that's bad news. yuck.
speaking of pubes, i occasionally see a stray pubic follicle here and there on the urinal when i go pee. and using those as samples from other people, i would have to say that my pubic hair isn't *that* long, because mine are comparable in length to those. *phew* i have yet to see a pube that isn't at least one inch long.
and does anyone have pubes where there shouldn't be any? i've got some stray ones between my bellybutton and my main pubic thatch. they look lonely out there, and i am tempted to pluck them so as not to be a pubic freak. :)
earlier today, i took what must have been the guinness world record for the thickest dump. i mean, it was fucking *thick*. so thick that i could feel my sphincter almost start to tear when i strained to get it out. i swear, my face must have been all red and contorted in gruesome ways as i pushed and pushed. man!
anyways, yeah. fun times.
is it wrong that i prefer vaginas that have been shaved? i mean, that's not so different from expecting women to shave their armpits, right? hm. i think it's because of all the porn i've watched, but i just think shaved vadges are nice-looking and sexy. and they're sort of practical because when giving head, i don't like the girl's pubes to get stuck in my teeth.
ok, off for a smoke and some chip-level testing. *huzzah*
i skipped basketball today to go have lunch at a thai buffet. the food itself wasn't that good, but the desserts were GREAT. there was this coconut milk soupy thing with chunks of tapioca in it. i loved it, and had i not been stuffed with second-rate pad thai and a lot of rice, i would have gone for seconds on the dessert. (fyi, this is the thai place right next to halu ramen on saratoga.)
anyways, lunch was so hefty and heavy today that i had serious food coma afterwards. i almost fell asleep on the car ride back.
ooh! i can feel a zit coming along just underneath my left earlobe. can't wait to pop it tonight. *shivers in anticipation*
i've been seeing ads at jack in the box for this bruschetta chicken ciabatta sandwich, so i decided to try it a few days back. it's not bad! the chicken is reasonably tasty and tender, and the bread is nice and soft and warm. the only drawback is that it costs over $4. that's a lot for a sandwich at a fast food place.
wow, april is almost over. that's a third of the year. i hate to look back, because i feel like i've done nothing with my life so far in 2005. yowzers. *sigh*
last night, i had a storm of tics. in the end, i was just standing there in the hallway, ticcing like i had epilepsy. damn. 8mg of haldol isn't doing shit for my condition, and i'm pretty upset about that. i thought i was going through a panic attack or something, but luckily, i was able to fall asleep. damn. i remember last year's numerous panic attacks, and not to jinx myself, but i hope i don't go through a single one anymore.
i have recently been snacking more. usually, before this current phase, the only times i would eat would be lunch and dinner, with nothing in between. however, lately, i just seem to want to be munching on random things. i went to the supermarket the other day and got two bags of shrimp chips and one thing of raspberry newtons. the newtons were kind of dry, and the seeds were annoying, but still, i finished the whole package in two days.
i need to find a place that sells wasabi shrimp chips. i found these at this pearl milk tea place in palo alto (called black pearl), but ever since then, i haven't been able to locate this marvelous snack. i found them once on asianmunchies.com, but it turns out they stopped carrying them, and they didn't refund my money until i inquired about it. *grumble* bastards!
so my mom asked the other day what my social life was like. you know, what friends i hung out with, whether or not i had a girlfriend, etc. i told her that my life was pretty bleak with all the solitude and all, and she responded that i should go to church to meet people. sigh. i don't like being pushed towards any religion (especially one that i don't believe in), so i got a bit eyeroll-y about that whole conversation.
anyways, it's time for another cigarette break. have fun, people.
lately, i've come to realize that if it weren't for me being proactive in getting in touch with certain friends, they would never call me and ask if i want to hang out with them.
it's a realization that doesn't make me happy.
i know that some of them are busy with their own lives, but i just get miffed when they never call me.
on one hand, i know that i should be able to handle life on my own just fine. but on the other hand, i would say that friendship takes work, and some of my friends just aren't making an effort.
do i make sense? i hope i don't come across as a whiny lonely person. ick. i hope not. but still, the truth out there is that if i don't call them, they would never call me. and that really sucks.
here at work, there's this person who doesn't pluralize things correctly. (meaning, this person will regularly drop the ending 's' after a plural noun.) now, being in a company with tons of fobs, normally, i wouldn't care about this simple grammatical error, but with this person, it just bugs the shit out of me.
so who am i rooting for in the nba playoffs? the mavericks (hometown, baby), rockets (go yao!), suns (steve nash is the man), and celtics (old boston pride). yes, i know that that's a lot of teams, and it also brings some conflict now that the rockets and mavericks are playing each other. but i think sports are more fun when you care about which teams win or lose.
thanks to dishi, i noticed today that my yahoo! messenger avatar smiles when i type in "haha." then again, "heh" doesn't work, and i wonder if i can make my avatar frown if i say "shit" or "fuck." somehow, i doubt they went that far. :)
sigh. monday. which means no tv to watch. i don't follow _24_, but i hear it's good. but anyways, having no television on my schedule just means that i can go to bed at 8 and fall asleep to the early _sportscenter_. and that gives me over 12 hours of rest, on a workday no less. damn, if i were another creature, i'd be one that hibernates; just imagine, i could gorge myself on food and then fall asleep for a long period of time. it's perfect for me!
i don't like it when strippers feel my crotch, looking for a boner from me. i think it's because i don't like them to be disappointed. i rarely bust a chub when getting a lap dance, and in fact, it's only happened to me once, with this girl named isa in reno. she was cool. but yeah, even though it's nice and pleasant, i don't find strippers all that erotic. they're doing it for the money!
... but yeah, even so, it *is* nice to be surrounded by naked boobs and some good ass. *bliss* haha. strip clubs are such an alternate reality.
i need to shave.
i tried growing a mustache and goatee once, but me, being of typical chinese descent, just couldn't get the density going. sigh. it's ok, though, because if i had to shave every single day, i'd go nuts. these days, i shave maybe once every three days or so.
wow, i really didn't do much this weekend. all three nights, i went to bed around 8 or 9pm, and i woke up at noon on both days. that's another 16 hours of consciousness i had during the two days.
what did i do? well, mainly i just watched a whole lot of basketball. on saturday, i caught bits or all of the 4 playoff games. i had my usual lunch of jamba juice and mcdonald's.
sunday, i saw _kung fu hustle_ with paul and his gang. the movie was attention-grabbing, but i didn't think it was all that good. the story was nonexistent (or very minimal), and the fights were just so-so. but, it was still to get out and do something, albeit a very passive thing to do.
yesterday, in a span of 24 hours, i took 3 dumps. heh, i guess i had it coming, with the 5-days of no dumping and all. it got to the point where my sphincter hurt, and wiping made it worse. but still, i wiped twice each time, and chester should be proud of me. :)
for the second time in a month, my dad's flying all the way from taiwan to dallas and back in 3 days. i don't know what business he is trying to take care of, but this seems like it's PAINFUL, doing two trans-pacific flights within a couple of days of each other. ouch. i hope he is able to handle it well.
anyways, it's friday! i don't have any real plans, except that i want to see _kung fu hustle_. i don't know if i'll like it, because it looks sort of goofy. i guess i'm just not used to kung fu and humor juxtaposed to each other.
i get annoyed at work when people leave their cubes and don't take their cell phones with them. when other people call them, i have to listen to their ringtones over and over again. i have to admit, most ringtones are annoying already, so having to listen to them go on and on is just aggravating.
i've been clockwatching for an hour already, and it's just past 3. ugh. fridays should be optional workdays, imho. it's not like i can get any work done, because i'm laden with a workweek senioritis affliction. they should just let me go home.
i have never had a lucid dream. (a lucid dream is one where you know that you're in a dream.) i've heard that during such an event, you can do whatever you want to. many people have been reported to start flying, but i would choose to have animal sex with a hot girl. :)
ick. i'm burping up this semi-spicy chicken that i had for lunch. it tasted rather good going down, but coming up, it's been tinted with the dr pepper i drank and the gummy peach rings i just ate. the result is a weird mutant flavor that doesn't taste so good.
ok, i've sat here for about 20 minutes, and i have nothing left to say. so have a good weekend, folks! i'll catch you on monday.
ah, thursday. the second-best day of the workweek. it's also the third thursday of the month, so that means our company had its monthly ice cream extravaganza. we voted on what flavors they should get, and there was apparently a large cookies n' cream (which i like) contingency, so that seemed like the most popular flavor this time around. *huzzah*
i never understood the attraction of skiing or snowboarding. i mean, i know it's about speed and gliding effortlessly across a brilliantly white backdrop of snow, but for me, it's just the fear of falling down and breaking an ankle or something. i guess i'm an overly cautious person or something, but in any case, i've "retired" from winter sports. *shrug*
i need to find out the lock code for my phone. i don't know what it is, and just in case it ever gets locked, i need to find out a way to undo it. it's weird, but i feel compelled to lock my phone without knowing the code. it's sort of like a masochistic urge, but the better part of me is winning (slightly) right now, because if i ever locked my phone, i'd be fucked.
i think there needs to be a way to consolidate usernames and passwords. i mean, there are so many accounts to sign up for (including websites, bills, other random places), and keeping track of which username and password to use can be too much. somewhere down the line, there must be a way to keep all that information in one place.
i would say that another way to get over this problem would be to use the same name and password everywhere, but that just doesn't happen that often. different places have different restrictions on name/password, and we find up having to do variations on our usual defaults. *sigh*
i'm thinking about skipping dinner againt today. despite my small post-basketball lunch, i've had a box of fruit, a lot of ice cream, two more vitasoys, and a bag of gummy peach rings. that seems like enough calories, doesn't it? (although i would submit that it's not very good quality calories)
last night was painful. i was waiting around in my bedroom for the 9pm _alias_, and but the time i was finished taking a shower and getting ready for bed, it was only 8:15 or so. so i had to kill the next 45 minutes by channel surfing, and there was nothing that was interesting on tv. ick. but i *am* curious about this arvin sloane doppelganger business in the show. it's sort of preposterous, but it's definitely intriguing.
speaking of doppelgangers, a few years ago, some random person tried to impersonate me on another blog. he set up a free website, and wrote entries pretending to be me and slandering my good name by saying that i was a pedophile. !! how did i make such enemies? and who would take time in their lives to do such a thing? *ponder*
ok, i am itching to get out of the office. i have finished my duties for the day, and thus am clockwatching.
wow, bo bice really rocked it with his rendition of "vehicle" on last night's _american idol_. he was in his element, and he sang great, in his angry rocker persona. i was impressed. it was a performance that i would almost pay to see.
sometimes i get spooked into thinking that someone has broken into my place. like last night, i noticed that my alarm clock was set to an AM channel. (fyi, i've had it on 106.5FM for the longest time.) so i was like, "shit, who broke into my house and changed the switch?" it scared me.
i saw my psych this morning, and i'm going up to 8mg of haldol a day. that dosage is getting up there, and i'm worried that i'm going to suffer some serious permanent side effects. haldol isn't the safest drug to take, and for some people, they develop tardive dyskinesia, which is a symptom where a guy develops a permanent facial twitch. the horror! :(
and in a few minutes i'm off to see my chiropractor. no doubt he'll ask me if i'm on the no-carb diet yet, and i'll have to come up with some lame excuse why i'm not on it. i just don't have the heart to tell him that i don't believe that the diet will "cure" me of my tics. *shrug* seems a little far fetched for me.
last night, i had chest pains again. i have no idea what causes this. i didn't eat dinner, so it couldn't have been heartburn. i'm a little worried that i'm getting minor heart attacks or something. *shivers* i'm too young to have chest pains!
ho hum. what else to say...
_alias_ should be interesting tonight. a sloane doppelganger! this show is now getting truly wacky and implausible.
oh, and i have taken a dump in like 5 days. another source of worriment. what changed? i used to be so regular, taking a shit every morning. and now, i go almost a week without a bowel movement. hm. can't be healthy. perhaps i will try to induce a number two later.
ok, this is really uninspired writing. i shall try again tomorrow. cya.
well, today pretty much whizzed by. i was working on synthesis stuff all day, and boy howdy, it's past 5pm already!
i plan on skipping dinner tonight. eating dinners has become such a chore since i'm by myself. it's no fun, so i'm going to stop doing it from time to time. my weight's stabilized around 162 or so, so i'll watch it carefully and make sure that i don't lose weight or anything.
i think i'm actually starting to get sick of gummy peach rings. i bought four bags on the spot yesterday, and today i bought two more. i've been devouring them nonstop, and i feel a little ill.
i can't eat gummy bears, fyi. i think it stemmed from this one incident where my parents bought a huge tub of them, and i ate probably half of the tub. i threw up in multicolor chunky glory, and ever since then, i can't eat them anymore.
and, they restocked the vitasoy. so my two addictions at work are back in full force, i am glad to say.
sometimes i wonder if being a porn star would be fun. i mean, on one hand, you get to do something that's great fun, and with hot girls, too. on the other hand, i've heard that it completely ruins spontaneity, since everything is so staged and stuff. and plus, i've also heard that being a guy is hard because you have to have complete control over your "organ." hm.
speaking of controlling the organ, do you guys out there ever try to hold off your impending orgasm? i've done it before, and it's tough. the cliche is that you think about baseball, but for me, i try doing math problems in my head. ha! honestly, though, i don't really like holding back. but sometimes i just feel that the girl deserves to have a little more; it's not really fair that a sex act usually ends when the guy shoots his wad.
which brings me to another question which i've asked before... when does sex end when it's two women? is it when they've both come? or when they just get tired of licking each other? *ponder*
oh, i need remind myself that i own _sex and zen 2_. i haven't had a chance to watch it yet. shu qi is so cute!
_american idol_ tonight. i feel as though the less performers there are, the more commercials they show. hrmph. but, it's been a week, and i'm still impressed that constantine did "bohemian rhapsody." some people say he's slimy-looking, but i think he's kinda cool. and tall, apparently, when standing next to ryan seacrest.
these days, the thing i look forward to the most is still sleep. that needs to change, i must say, although i don't know how to do it. sleep is just too wonderful.
so my company has run out of vitasoy. and seeing as how i have been drinking 4 to 5 of these a day, i am suffering serious vitasoy withdrawal. at least i caught the vending maching restocking guy and bought four bags of gummy peach rings on the spot; it would suck to go through withdrawal of *two* items, not just one.
some people may wonder how it is that i can stay in bed for up to 18 hours. holy shit, now that i look at that figure, that *is* a lot, isn't it? well, basically, for example, saturday night, i went to bed at 8pm. i didn't fall asleep until 10 or so, and in the meantime, i've got ESPN on the tv and just listen to the sports reporters. and the next morning, i wake up around 10 or so, but i stay in bed for another 4 hours just because i can. *shrug* that's 18 hours for ya.
i called my mom last night. it was pretty uncomfortable, because she just kept on telling me that i should go to church, and how i'll meet good people there, and how wonderful god is and how i should be a part of the church, etc. i mean, yes, i love my mom, but when she gets all preachy on me, it's pretty hard to take.
anyways... i wonder how disappointing and aggravating it must for my mom, to have a heathen for a son who's for sure going to hell. i feel a *tad* guilty about it, but that's not enough to motivate me to find god or anything.
i'm eyeing my third pack of gummy peach rings. i want to eat them, but i've just had two bags already. hm. maybe i should exercise some self-restraint and get something else to munch on.
...
so how many guys out there shave their pubes? how short do you leave them? or do you just shave all of it? i've never trimmed mine, and it's quite an unruly clump of hair down there. kind of a shaggy crotch mane, if you will. hm. the thing is, though, i'm just petrified of allowing sharp objects anywhere near my groin area, so that's that.
i was so excited when one of my ex's shaved their pubes. i swear it isn't an unhealthy obsession with prepubescent girls or anything, but i just loved it. it looked really good, and it was a total turn-on. *ROWR* and one big benefit of it is that i don't get pubes caught in my teeth when i chow box. :)
ok, that's enough for today. my writer's block is still plaguing me.
yup, i was awake for only 13 hours this weekend. still, i managed to do some things.
friday night, i drove up to foster city to have dinner with mallory. she recently bought a house, and it's quite nice. foster city seems like a nice neighborhood, despite being built on a landfill.
then, i hit adam's house party in cupertino. i was mainly a wallflower at this event, watching adam print out temporary tattoo's and iron-on designs for t-shirts and stuff. it was interesting the various groups of people there, but i can't say that i made any good conversation.
saturday was kate's baby shower. guys weren't invited to the event itself, but jack, jose and i all made it separately to the after-party. it was good seeing them, as well as kate (and her big belly), carolyn and jan. we shot some hoops, hung around, etc.
sunday, i watched a lot of baseball. i thought the day was a bust, but then i called up jay and margaret, and i had dinner with them at pho quyen 2. (i don't know if there is a pho quyen 1.) and afterwards, i met up with alan and ting to have some pearl milk tea. we hit verde first, and then wound up at tea era where i got my usual: roasted barley milk tea. yum.
so yeah, i wasn't awake for long stretches, but i stilll managed to see some friends. *huzzah*
so it's friday again! and this time, i actually have some weekend plans. tonight, i'm having dinner with mallory, and then i will most likely attend a house party at adam's place. i'm not too keen on the party (i'm just not in the mood), but i know i should get out more, so i'm gonna try to make it.
anyways, i don't have much to report these days. i have a terrible case of writer's block, and these entries are quite a struggle to put out.
so last night's ending to _the OC_ was pretty juicy.... tre's gonna be thrown in jail again for giving ecstasy to a girl? does E really fuck you up that much? i have to admit, i've been curious about taking E, but i'm afraid it'll mess me up since is alters neurotransmitter levels, and my tourette's is already a disorder involving neurotransmitters.
hm. my computer needs a reboot. i think it's saddled with spyware or something, because web access is horribly slooooow. i wonder what's wrong with the network and/or my computer.
anyways, tomorrow, i've got a post-baby-shower-pizza-party in los gatos. i don't get why i (being a male) can't attend the baby shower itself, but i'm glad that i'm at least invited to see my friend kate, who's due in june. her belly will probably be quite large by now. and she and jeremy are big people, so i can imagine that their kid will grow up to be six feet at least.
i think i was lucky to be 6'0". my dad's the same height, but my mom is pretty short. if i had gotten my mom's genes, i'd be quite a shrimpy dude. hehe.
somebody in the office is playing the bee gee's. it's sort of annoying.
have you heard about terrell owen's latest complaint? he's saying that he's not being paid well enough. shit, the guy's got like a $40 million contract with the eagles, and he's talking about providing for his family and shit. what the fuck? like that amount of money isn't going to spoil his wife and kids already? some people really don't get it, do they?
so today, i had lunch with the CEO of our company. i guess every so often, he pulls in some random people at the office for a discussion forum. i had a hard time coming up with an issue to address; i hate discussions because most of time, i'm too apathetic to give a shit. but this time, i dug deep down and came up with something to talk about. *phew*
is anyone out there familiar with imagemagick? i'm trying to display a .YUV file, but the colors are coming out all funky. does anyone know how to do it right? do i need three files for the three components, or just one? *help*
my morning routine is fairly quick when i get out of bed. since i take showers at night and sleep naked, all i do is take a leak, put on my clothes, and take my medication. however, this morning, i was hampered by a case of morning wood. it's hard to piss with a boner, so was just sitting there, waiting for my hard on to go away. it's weird, morning wood. it's not like i'm being sexually stimulated or anything.
ok, time for another cigarette break. have a great weekend people!
so _alias_ last night was a totally kooky episode. what, another mr. sloane? what does it mean? how did they do that? weird, weird turn of events.
i had mongolian bbq today once again. i was all set to play basketball (though my motivation wasn't very high), but the gratification of a mongolian bbq lunch was just too good to pass up. although, lately, the last few times i've been there, i can't get the food as spicy as i want it to be, despite adding a very impressive dollop of hot sauce into the mix.
i was randomly picked (it seems) to have a lunch/discussion with the CEO to tomorrow. i'm not looking forward to it, because i have nothing to say about how to better the workplace. i think the concept is good, though, but i'm just the wrong kind of guy (i.e. apathetic) to bring into the fold.
ho hum. i'm tired of everything. i just want to go home and curl in my bed and sleep.
oh yeah. speaking of sleep, you know how i like to fall asleep listening to _sportscenter_. well, yesterday, they had two of the newer anchors: fred hickman and some random girl. it made a big difference. i like listening to anchors that i'm familiar with, e.g. john anderson, stuart scott, etc. listening to the newbies made me realize that my familiarity with their voices makes a big difference in how easy it is for me to fall asleep to them. damn! bring back the veterans!
lately my tics have been getting worse. i realize i haven't given a tic report in a while, but yeah, they're pretty bad. i can tell because the moment i wake up, i feel the urge to tic. usually lying down ameliorates my condition, but not these days. *RAAR* i'm seeing my psych next wednesday; i'm not sure what else he can do for me, except for giving me more drugs.
i get annoyed when people bum cigarettes from me. i realize it's not a big deal, but it activates an OCD side of me that tries to conserve my smokes. basically, i limit myself to N cigarettes a day, and that's *including* the ones i give out. so when people bum them off of me, that means that i have fewer ones for myself. it's sort of stressful, in a weird sort of way.
speaking of things that annoy, i find myself more irritable these days. sometimes i want to blurt out to my coworkers that what they laugh at just isn't funny AT ALL. hm. maybe i'm pms'ing? but i don't need a haircut just yet! and the weather isn't hot, either.
anyways, i'm just happy that it's thursday, which means tomorrow is the end of the week. it's not a big deal, but at least it's something i can look forward to. and that's all that matters.
note to self: dr pepper tastes like ass after eating starburst candies.
hey there people. what's up?
re: _american idol_, i thought constantine maroulis had real balls to sing "bohemian rhapsody." unfortunately, though, he had to cut it short, so he didn't get to do the wacky middle part, and instead, he just went for the first and last sections of the song. but bravo for tackling the song.
what freaks me out a little about the show is scott savol's pudgy fingers. fat digits on hands and feet sort of scare me. i can't explain why, but they just do.
so i had dinner with yuji at our usual ramen place (ryowa in mountain view). it was good seeing him again and catching up. if you click on the link, you would immediately notice that he hasn't blogged since last christmas. so it was good to talk to him again and find out what's going on in his life, as his xanga is useless.
so it's wednesday once again. after today, it's just a few days before the weekend. shit. which reminds me, i gotta get a card for jeremy.
since when are baby showers women-only? i mean, i went to one last year, and there were guys as well as girls there. anyways, there's one this saturday for jeremy and kate's upcoming babybirth, and i found out only girls were invited. hm. i though bridal showers were women-only, and baby showers were omnisex.
the other day, i picked a piece of tartar off of the back of my lower front teeth. gross. i hate the way it crumbles.
i need to take a physical; i haven't done so in about 5 years. but i'm afraid of the prostate exam. can people tell me if it's uncomfortable? i don't really stick things up my ass at all, so i have no idea how it would feel. but i would definitely be embarrassed if the doctor stuck his fingers up there and got shit all over his gloves.
i have heard, though, that tickling a guy's prostate is a very pleasurable thing. can anyone back that up?
wow, do i have a case of writer's block. they happen much more often these days than before. i can't believe i used to write so much in one sitting (back in the geocities days). my theory is that it's the medication; it slows down my brain so i don't get any cool random thoughts.
earlier today, i was going through total gummy peach ring withdrawal. i don't know why they're not refilling them in the vending machines. maybe the guy doesn't remember which slot is for which snack, but man, i am craving some of that gummy goodness.
ok, i'm off. sorry for the lack of inspired blogging. will try again tomorrow. :)
hey there people. i decided today that i really dislike ham. at lunch today, they were serving this thick cut of ham coupled with diced pineapples. i thought it was hella nasty, but apparently a lot of people were fans of it. i just don't like the salty taste, ick.
i skipped dinner last night. after my massage (which felt really good, despite the fact that the masseuse had to leave for a while to pull needles out of this acupuncture patient), i decided that i wasn't hungry at all, so i just drove home instead of getting some takeout. so today, i am right at 160 pounds. sigh. all of my work at trying to gain weight has gone down the drain.
i have been realizing lately that my closest friends aren't reliable sources of interaction. and that the only source that's potentially reliable is a significant other. it made me kind of sad. i mean, i love my friends, but i have to drill it in my head that they have their own lives, and that often times doesn't include me. sigh.
i just surfed through 926 friendster entries. i don't have a headache, which is good, but i'm sort of unimpressed by the number of cute asian girls in said 926 profiles. how many did i find? three. yup. that's 0.32% hit rate. hot damn! i must stop being so picky.
itching get out of here. the yujster and i are meeting up at ryowa for some ramen glory. and i might get gyoza as well, so i'm looking forward to the meal and catching up with him.
but yeah, re: my friends not being there for me, i'm sort of bummed out about that. i think it's living alone that's made the reality so *real*. up until then, i had always lived with someone, pretty much, and i could count on having a roommate for some basic social stimulus. but now, especially on my weekends, i find myself bored and lonely, and those are two of the worst adjectives that i can use to describe my life. :(
i really need a girl. word.
anyways, i booked my plane tickets for an upcoming wedding over memorial weekend. it turns out i only have two weddings scheduled for that weekend; i wasn't invited to one of them, and i'm not sure if i feel slighted. i'm not that upset or any thing, so i guess it's their loss. but anyways, i'll be spending memorial weekend in LA.
you know what annoys me? people who laugh (loudly) at stuff that isn't funny. i think that is also the reason why laughtracks during sitcoms also irritate the hell out of me. i mean, pay good attention to the dialogue during any _friends_ episode. half of the shit that the "audience" laughs at doesn't even deserve a response! ugh. *shivers*
anyways, it's past 5, and want to go home. i'm looking forward to sleep. *yum*
so it's another monday, and i think have hemorhhoids or something. i took two dumps today, and both of them really hurt, like this burning sensation. yuck. maybe i'll have to go buy some preparation h.
looking back at this past weekend, i think i really need a big shakeup to short circuit me back into life. i am pretty much an idle zombie during my weekends of late, and i'm not happy about that. i've lost interest in everything, i'm antisocial, etc. it's not a good existence.
google phrase of the day:
"giving a guy a handjob is so much easier"
huh? easier than what? a blowjob? that may be so, but a blowjob definitely feels better than a handjob, and it's much more intimate as well. personally, i've never gotten off by either method alone; for me to jizz, i need to do the work. *shrug* i actually start to feel guilty if the girl's been sucking me for too long, and in most cases, it doesn't feel that great either. yep, i've never experienced great fellatio, so maybe that's why i'm not such a big fan of it.
oh, by the way, alan called me last thursday, and we whimsically decided to go see _sin city_ on a workday. i had very high expectations for this movie, but in the end, i was only so-so about it. i'm not much of a film noir person, and this one seemed to go over the top sometimes with its corny dialogue.
BUT. carla gugino has a GREAT body, and she's also got a heavenly set of boobs. WOW! *claps* so plump! so round! they make me want to stick my head into her cleavage and start munching away. like syndromes says, (oYo)
anyways, with all these weddings surrounding me (i know of 4 of them in the coming months), i'm starting to fret a bit about my own situation. that is, my situation of being single for such a long time. i agree that it's sort of a problem, but i'm not sure what remedy for the situation is. what can i do to "resolve" this issue? *confounded look*
oh, and while i was walking through the oval on stanford campus yesterday, i got admonished for smoking by this little girl who couldn't have been older than 10. that made me feel bad.
yeah, i really should quit, sooner rather than later. i told myself that i'd quit when i hit 30, so that gives me six more months of enjoyment. we'll see. i know that smoking is terrible, but for some reason, i can't seem to give it up. (yes, i consider myself addicted to them.)
oh well. speaking which, i'm gonna end this entry now and go for a cig break.
yup, i'm a hermit these days. it's actually pretty pathetic, really.
friday night, i met up with jan and company for a long-awaited rendezvous. i mean, jan's been in town since august or something, and this was our first get-together. we ate at el calderon, where i ordered the chicken encebollado, which was really nasty. sigh. i should just stick with the basics next time i go to a restaurant.
afterwards, we stopped by kapp's pizza for drinks. they didn't have my jameson, so at the recommendation by cliff, i ordered a maker's mark whiskey instead. that thing had bite! ick.
as for the weekend itself, i did pretty much nothing except eat, sleep, and watch tv. on sunday, though, i drove to stanford campus and walked around and reminisced a bit. they were having a community day event in the front part of the quad, so naturally i gravitated toward the sound of the taiko, where my old group had a booth set up.
after i got home, i watched golf for the first time. (that is, i watched it for longer than a few minutes.) the last few holes and the playoff hole with tiger woods and chris dimarco were actually really exciting! and i was happy that tiger won... go asian golfers! (although people say he's more black, but that's not true.)
and that was it for the weekend. sigh. i definitely feel like i wasted this one.
greetings! it's friday! *woot*
i'm on my third bag of gummy peach rings, and the only thing stopping me from eating even more is the fact that i cleaned out the vending machine. *smacks his lips*
it's been raining off and on (more on than off) all day, and the weather just really sucks. i hate the rain. sure, it's got a fresh smell, but it just makes it undesirable to go anywhere outside. *RAAR*
i've got a dinner with jan tonight. she's been in the bay area for about 8 months now, and this is the first time we're meeting up. the bummer, though, is that it's a big party of people (semi-big, around 6 or so), so i might not get the chance to really *talk* to her.
i like one-on-one conversations the best. for whatever reason, they allow you to go deeper in subject matter. like i won't be able to ask jan about the state of her mental health, for instance. it's like being in a group limits the topics that the people can talk about. and i don't like that.
once again, i've got no plans for the weekend. but hell, if it rains like this the rest of the way, then i'll probably just hole myself indoors for a good part of the two days. pathetic, i know.
it seems tiger woods is mortal after all. he's not doing well in this year's master's tournament. and the more i think about it, the more amazing his tiger slam was back a few years ago. so what happened? why isn't he playing superbly any more? (my theory is because he has a woman now.) they say that the rest of the playing field just "caught up." how does that happen?
the internet rules. i was watching to a broadcast of the giants/dodgers game last night, and the guy said that it was a "rubber match." what the hell does that mean? so i go to trusty old google, type in "rubber match baseball," and lo and behold! the first entry is an explanation of what the term means. god bless the internet.
i need to exercise more. mike just bought a new tennis racquet recently, so if it doesn't rain, maybe i'll ask to play with him. i've gotten what it feels like to hit a tennis ball around... the last time i rallied with someone was back last year with k4.
speaking of k4, a few months ago, i friendster'ed one of her friends. (it was a coincidence that they were friends.) then, k4 got upset, and she offered to pay for half of the masa's dinner we had (which was the most expensive meal i've ever had) if that's what i wanted her to do. i said no, but it brought up a point.
so if you're a girl, and a guy takes you out to a meal that costs several hundred dollars, should there be any expectations? i mean, i'm not saying that the girl should be expected to put out, just that she be interested in the guy and not leading him on and getting a free meal. what do you guys think?
ok, that's my question of the day. i'm out!
somebody stop me. i've just finished my second bag of peach gummy rings. i'm awaiting the dreaded sugar rush and the head-wracking low that will follow. *shiver*
i thought last night's _alias_ was better than average. something big is looming over these characters, i.e. sloane and jack bristow have something evil (perhaps) brewing about. should be good, the next few weeks.
i've been sleeping very well recently. i don't wake up as often, and in the mornings, the light doesn't affect me as much. i pretty much sleep straight until the alarm clock goes off, and that's a first for me in a few months. yay!
i have this weird zit thing on my right cheek. so yesterday, i went into the bathroom in front of a mirror, and squeezed the hell out of it. i felt this little crunching thing, and suddenly several microdrops of blood exploded out and onto the mirror. very satisfying stuff!
i got a ton of hits today from people searching for "thug grilled tuna sandwich." i really don't get it. i mean, what's the context of this phrase? where does the "thug" come from? i don't get it, but seriously, people all over the place are looking for this. very strange phrase indeed.
you know what tv show i miss? _ally mcbeal_. i miss the relationship themes and the goofiness of john cage. it seems david e. kelley isn't doing so well these days; what shows of his are still on the air? a few years ago, he tried _girls club_, which i dug because it featured chyler leigh in HOT glasses, but the ratings were terrible, and they pulled the plug.
i'm not so enthused with basketball these days. yes, i fulfilled my promise to myself and started playing this week, but it just hasn't been fun. hm. i am a lazy wuss, and i hate doing chores. and right now, bball seems like a chore to me. but i guess i need the exercise, so i should keep on playing.
i crave mongolian bbq. i go crazy with the garlic and the hot sauce when i'm there (i eat at su's), and it's just so fucking TASTY.
i'm trying to trace back when i started ending my nights at around 8pm, and i think it's either 1) when my tics got bad or 2) alan and ting moved out. i know, it's pretty pathetic to get ready for bed at 8, but i just don't have anything to do, and besides, i feel better (less ticcy) when i'm lying down.
aw hell, i just had an endianness argument with my coworkers. it seems like i've been doing everything backwards. *RAAR*
ok, gotta go. work awaits.
hey there. i've been debugging all afternoon. *phew* it's tough work! very brainful, as opposed to "brainless" work.
i had a dream about alex last night. it was very involved and plotful, and i remember waking up once and trying to remember the details so that i could blog about it when i got to work. but, alas, i fell back asleep again, and now i can't remember anything about the dream. all i know was that it was nice.
wednesdays are my least favorite weeknights. this is because i have nothing to do when i get home, and i have to stay up until 9 to watch _alias_. yes, maybe i should get tivo, or i could just tape the show, but no, i wait and putz around until _alias_ comes on. how sad, huh? most people would kill for free time, yet i'm sitting here whining about having too much of it. i really should to something more with my life. *shrug*
i went on a small expedition to find my new addition: peach gummy rings. the vending machine on my floor was out of them, so i ventured around to the other floors' snack rooms. and eureka! i found some in the main cafeteria vending machine. *yum*
i think this weekend i'll feel the full brunt of not having any college basketball to watch. for the past three weekends (and then some, as there were games on thursday and friday as well), i've camped out in front of my tv, watching the games intently. i don't know why i like the tournament so much; i guess it might have something to do with the kids having more passion for the game than pros do.
two sports i can't watch are golf and car racing. as for that latter sport, sometimes i wonder if the drivers ever get bored. after all, all they're doing is going straight and turning left and going straight and turning left, ad nauseum. maybe they should shake things up for once and have them going the other way, so they can turn right for a change. :)
shit. my simulation hangs after 5 million ns. this is gonna be ugly to debug.
*ponders*
ah hell. i'll deal with it tomorrow.
i've forgotten what scroll lock does on a keyboard. num lock and caps lock i understand, but what the hell is scroll lock?
last night's _scrubs_ brought up the topic of the "friend kiss." you know, platonic kisses. i've never gotten a platonic kiss on the lips (i've gotten them on the cheek before). and are they always close-lipped? is there such a thing as an open-mouth platonic kiss? or a french platonic kiss? hehe.
when i get home from work, usually i just veg out in front of the tv while eating my dinner. and up until 8pm, it's usually just _seinfeld_ and _friends_ episodes. my problem is that i've now seen so many episodes (i dare say them all) that i'm getting annoyed with the repetition, especially with certain characters. in particularly, i'm referring to george and monica. george grates on my nerves, and i just HATE monica. hm. maybe i should find something else to watch.
ok, time for a cig. have fun, people! hump day is almost over!
man, last night's ncaa men's basketball championship game was pretty good. unc went up by 15 in the 2nd half, and illinois stormed back. it was a pretty evenly matched game, except for sean may dominating in the paint. i was very happy for roy williams (unc's coach).
and thus ends the 2004-2005 season.
afterwards, on espn, they kept showing the interviews with the players and the coaches. reporters ask the stupidest questions! i got really annoyed listening to the post-game conference. heh.
i played basketball today for the first time since early january. i didn't do that well (i lost the ball a few times, and i only scored one point), but it was nice to get some exercise finally. i think i'll keep playing.
because of bball, i skipped lunch. (yes, it's a bad habit.) so in the meantime, to keep myself from getting hungry, i had a snickers bar. i guess it's from all those snickers commercials about them holding you over due to hunger. but yeah, i don't really like chocolate, and the candy bar was way too sweet. but it's doing the trick, i.e. i'm not hungry yet.
anyways, i had a nightmare last night. i don't remember what it was about, but i do distinctly recall waking up and being scared and telling myself that it was just a dream. unfortunately, the knowledge didn't help, because i fell back askeep and back into the nightmare. *shiver*
i like daylight savings. once i get past the fact that i lose an hour of sleep for one night, it's nice. it get bright later, and the sun stays out later as well. it's a win-win situation for me on both ends of the day. :)
it's sort of bad how i consider the city (sf) to be a complete different region of the united states compared to where i live. i mean, it's only 40 miles away, yet i only see my friends who live there maybe once a year. that's pathetic! friends like jan, who's been up there since last august, and we're still struggling to meet up for the first time. sigh.
i have been driving less lately, which translates into seeing less of my friends who live further away. it took six months to drive 3750 miles, which is the distance between my two latest car checkups. six months! that translates to only 156 miles of driving a week, and even that still seems high for me.
and in the end, i get to blame it all on my tourette's for making me antisocial. how convenient. :/ it's nice having a scapegoat to blame all of my problems on, but in the end, i need to get past that and figure out ways to make my life better. *RAAR*
ok, i'm spent, and i'm craving a cig.
so tonight is the final college men's basketball game of the season. looking back, it's been interesting. stanford men started out horribly, then came back to win like 7 in a row, and then had an up and down year. they made it to the tournament, but got bounced in the first round. oh well. i hope they can get some good recruits and make a comeback next year. *fingers crossed*
every year, my OCD personality forces me to remember the entire tournament bracket starting with the sweet sixteen. this year is no different, as i have memorized every game and who the winner was. silly, isn't it? i mean, what possible way can this information serve me?
anyways, i just finished doing some hardcore integration for the code that i had to incorporate into my block. it wasn't terribly brainful, but i feel like i accomplished something good. :)
i am craving a massage. even though it doesn't do anything for me long term (which is disappointing), it just feels sooo good during the actual event. it's not cheap, though, so i only indulge myself once a month. if i ever go to a place like thailand, where massages are like $10 or cheaper, then i would get one every single day.
living with chronic pain has been quite an experience. my tics started getting bad a year ago (last march), and since then, i have been in constant pain every single day. it makes me appreciate good health (mental and physical), and damn, if i'm ever good again, i'll make sure i don't take it for granted.
one thing i don't get is why the guys use condoms in porn. i mean, in the porn industry, the women are all on birth control, and they get tested for HIV and other stuff quite frequently. so why bother with condoms? i don't get it; it's an eyesore and quite a turn-off. *RAAR*
so can a pope resign? i mean, if he gets so old that he becomes useless and incapacitated, isn't it better for the church to fire him and get someone who can actually *do* something? just a thought...
do people still collect stamps? i used to do it when i was a kid; my late grandmother knew someone who worked in a post office, so i'd get all these stamps to add to my collection. it held my interest for only a little while, but it's curious how there are people who horde these seemingly mundane items.
for a while, i used to collect sugar packets, too. different ones had different designs and came from various sugar manufacturing places. (being from texas during those years, the vast majority of the packets came from a suburb of houston called sugar land. go figure.) i would also eat sugar packets. i never got sugar highs (that i could tell), but once, my friend eugene copied me, and he felt sick afterwards. ha!
hm. i am hitting a major writer's block. i think it's a sign that i should go. bye!
my weekends are now bare of all social contact. this weekend was yet another example.
i didn't do anything friday night. saturday, all i did was watch the two final four basketball games. both weren't that interesting, as both teams (illinois and unc) won by at least 15 points.
sunday, i woke up at 1 (after time adjustment) and just watched some nba games. my only meal of the day was a wet burrito with mike at taqueria los charros. after that, i putzed around a bit, and then i went to bed at 8.
yup. i was up for no more than 8 hours either day, and this has been a trend that i've developed over the last couple of weekends.
pathetic, i tell ya.
so i think this is the weekend to set you clocks forward by an hour? am i right? it amazes me that everyone in the country somehow finds out about it, because there isn't a central way of communicating daylight savings. but either way, i'm not very happy about losing an hour of sleep. *RAAR*
the positive note about daylight savings, though, is that it'll get light later in the day. i am still a little sensitive to light, and this will delay the moment when i wake up due to a later sunrise.
i think i'm going to get some more gummy peach rings now. brb
so i don't have any real plans for the weekend except for watching the final four. i'm rooting for north carolina to win it all because i like roy williams. which is odd, because i don't even know him at all. i guess i just feel bad for him because he's won like the most games without ever winning a championship.
i am interested in seeing _sin city_. visually, it looks cool, you know, that whole comic book effect with some accents on certain colors. and the fact that ebert gave it a maximum of 4 stars means something in my book, although i don't always agree with his reviews.
yesterday was a day of futility when it came to buying stuff from our vending machine. here everything is 25 cents, and i just happened to have two dimes and four pennies in my pocket. yup, i had only *24* cents, and i found that to be a cruel twist of fate.
so i borrowed a quarter from a coworker, and punched in the code for a svenhard's cheese horn. the mechanism ran its course, by my horn didn't fall out! it was suck in the spirals! even crueler twist of fate! so in the end, i just sucked it up and fed in a dollar bill. sigh.
have you ever had a sugar high? in high school, i did an internship at this company DSC, and my mentor mark had a whole shitload of peanut butter m&m's. so ignorant of the effects, i munched down dozens of those little candies. i got all lightheaded, and after about half an hour or so, i just felt like shit. dammit, mark should have warned me about the dangers of getting a sugar high.
i wonder where mark is right now. he was a nice guy.
anyways, i am itching to go to the cheesecake factory. why? because i crave a good cheesecake, of course! but the problem is, there's always a long line there. i hate waiting in line to have a meal. and i don't know if the food there is any good, and i don't want to wait there forever just to have dessert, you know?
ok, so i've finished my peach rings, and now i'm craving some more. this might just be the start of an obsession. gotta be careful.
so it turns out, i have been invited to THREE weddings (most likely) over memorial break. and none of them are in the bay area. hm. which one to go to? *ponder*
ok, time to grab some more snacks, a drink, and have a cig. go home already! it's friday!
have a good weekend people!