hehe. cool. my friend dishi invited me to join 360, which is yahoo's version of friendster/orkut. i'm not sure i like yahoo's take on the personal networking app, but we'll see how it shapes up in the future. right now, it's invite only, so if you want me to invite you, let me know. (that means you have to give me your e-mail address, so lurkers, COME OUT AND PLAY!!! :)
i am eating junk food right now. i suddenly started craving it for some strange reason, perhaps because my lunch was inadequate. the menu said they were going to have quesadilla's (which i love), but instead it was make-your-own-burrito. not the same, and not as good.
so i've plowed through four vitasoy's, one dr pepper, a svenhard's cheese horn, and now gummy peach rings. it's a miracle i haven't been getting fat these days, although i *have* gained five pounds. yup, i'm now between 160-165.
i've been debugging all afternoon. my brain's kind of fried, and when i try to shut it off, all i can see are binary (or rather, hexadecimal) numbers floating around.
so tonight's a rare thursday without tv to watch. _the OC_ is on hiatus for one week to make room for a two-hour _tru calling_ season premiere. that show features the rather hot eliza dushku, but i've never seen an episode. it just looks a little hokey to me, a girl who travels back in time to save dead people. *snore*
damn, gummi peach rings are good. you'd never guess it, but they're 280 calories per small bag! damn, it must be all the sugar content that makes it calorific.
ok, i've finished my bag, but i still feel like chomping on food. what's wrong with me? am i pregnant?
i need to make a promise to myself. a promise to start exercising again. i mean, i dressed up today (shirt and shoes mainly) anticipating some basketball, but when lunchtime came, i balked and got food instead. but really, i haven't exercised (besides the hike a few weekends ago) at all in 2005, and i'm sure my body is deteriorating because of it. ok, next week. i WILL play basketball.
i've gotten a few wedding invites lately. i'm hesitant to go to them because travelling alone is scary and quite a hassle sometimes. i mean, one of them is in boston, and there is NO WAY i am going to rent a car and navigate that city all by myself. hm. am i being a wuss? i think so.
*yawn*
without tv to watch tonight, i am looking forward to going to bed early. ah, sleep. :)
for lunch, i had su's mongolian bbq, which i haven't had in a while. my recollection of this place was more positive than the reality, though. my last visit here must have been last summer, and i imagined the food to be more glorious than it really was. oh well. but i did have two bowls (that's four bowls of ingredients), and i got a nice food coma afterwards.
for whatever reason, sleep was really really GOOD last night. i think what made it so good was that my blankets were nice and cold by the time i tried starting to fall asleep; usually, i watch television underneath my covers, so they're all hot and stuff from my body contact by the time i really want to sleep.
i love sleeping naked. i mean, i can fall asleep just fine wearing boxers and maybe (just maybe) a light sleeveless top, but i just don't understand how people can go to bed wearing a full body set of pajamas. that's excessive clothing, and i would never wear that stuff.
so i tried watching _the office_ last night. i have to admit, i laughed (or more like chuckled) a few times, but i dunno. i mean, i get the humor and all that, but it just wasn't super-compelling. *shrug* i might still watch it (to fill up my 9:30-10pm spot) to pass time, but it's not a show that i would actually look forward to watching.
i got a phone call today while i was standing in front of the urinal taking a piss. i would have answered it (while one-handing my penis) had my boss not been at the urinal right next to me. i've gotten phone calls while sitting on the toilet (which i always try to answer), but this is the first time it ever happened in front of a urinal. i guess it's a little sketchy, because if you drop the phone, it would land in the urine-water mix.
i will always remember this saying as a mnemonic for mixing acid and water:
do what you oughta
add the acid to the water
apparently, if you do it the other way around, the mixture might explode. now, can somebody tell me why adding a drop of water into a vat of strong acid would do that? i don't understand.
while driving back from my chiropractor's office, i had a sudden bout of mortality fear. you know, being afraid of death and dying and all that. i guess i was thinking about terry schiavo and how her husband is starving her to death, and the idea of not living anymore crept into my head. i admit, i'm petrified of not living, not that there should be anything to fear if all it is is perpetual unconscious darkness. i guess i love life too much, or something like that.
ok, i better stop before i totally freak out.
so i was going to play basketball today, but laziness took over. damn, i haven't exercised since last year! luckily, i'm not getting fat or anything, but i do feel guilty for neglecting my body's well-being. maybe thursday...
instead, i went to get chinese food with some of my coworkers. we went to this place called "china way" on el camino and lawrence, and it was pretty bad stuff. i mean, they served a lot of food, and it was steaming hot when it came out, but it just tasted bad. sigh.
is it sad that the thing i look forward to the most during my days is going to sleep? hm. but i just love the snuggly warm feeling of being in bed with my three layers of blankets coupled with my cold pillows. it's heaven. :)
so tonight i'm watching _american idol_ followed by _scrubs_. and _the office_ (the american version, apparently) follows, and i'm going to check it out. i hope it's good, there's been a lot of buzz about this show.
my brother apparently drove all the way from LA back home to dallas for spring break. i find that astounding... i hate driving long distances, and after about 200 miles, i start getting ancy and stuff. i can't imagine driving halfway across the country like he did... i'd go insane! cuckoo!
my right finger has been hurting for about a month now. i think it's a sprain, although i don't how i could have sprained my finger without knowing. but anyways, it hurts a lot in the mornings (when it's stiff and hasn't been used in a while), and i'm feeling a little lazy to go see a doctor for it. but i should. maybe it's a ligament or tendon kind of thing. *shrug* it's just weird how we deal with pain sometimes like it's just a fact of life, and we don't do anything about our situation. kind of pathetic, i think.
anyways, not much going on. i'm grumpy about it only being tuesday, but the week will end when it does, i suppose.
i love the feeling of somebody running her fingers through my hair. unfortunately for me, it's been a while since somebody did that as an act of affection. but there are two places where i can get my fix: the haircutting place and the massage place. the second one is divine; fingers tracing patterns on my scalp. *yum* sometimes i comb my hair (not that i need it) over and over again; it feels good, but it's just not quite the same thing as another person's fingers.
have you ever gotten hair? (you know, instead of giving head, you give hair.) it involves a girl with long hair on top of you, running her hair all over your body. damn, that feels good, too, although i've only gotten it from k1. she had really nice long hair.
anyways, i'm starting to reminisce, so i better cut this short now. have a nice day!
i didn't take a dump all weekend, and i haven't taken one today. i swear, it's not the lack of fiber or anything... my body just doesn't generate fecal matter! either that, or it is, and i'm going to have a sphincter-busting shit ready to explode.
*yawn*
anyways, i dropped off my car at the dealership today for its 63,750 mile inspection. it's been almost six months since my last one; i guess i don't drive much these days. gone are the jaunts up to the city, and my work commute is only 5 miles one way.
oh shit. i forgot that i taped last week's _OC_. maybe tonight i'll get around to watching it. for whatever reason, i don't like watching tv that's been taped. i like watching them when they're actually aired. and for that reason (and others), i haven't gotten a tivo/replay yet.
i think my neck is permanently jacked up from the tics. for the past few months, i've had a stiff neck, and no matter what i do (massage, chiropractor), it doesn't seem to be going away anytime soon. shit. i can't live with this forever, you know...
i'm sad that the men's basketball season is winding down. not to mention that stanford's season ended last week. only three more games left! and after that, it'll be just the NBA for me to watch, which isn't as fun because there seems to be less passion and love for the game exhibited by the players. and after the NBA, it's all baseball for a few months. *pukes*
i'm getting a haircut today. i have to. it's been over 6 weeks since my last one, and my hair is getting to the point where it's comb-able. !! did you know that i've been going to the same palo alto supercuts for the last thirteen years now? that's over a hundred fifty haircuts!
and afterwards, i think i'm going to stop by bueno bueno and get one of their monster double-tortilla burritos. yum. the one i get is called "the charro," and what makes that stand apart from the rest is that it's got garlic paste in it. it's pungent stuff! pungent but good.
ok, gotta run. gotta pick up my car from the shop. toodles!
didn't do much this weekend except watch FIVE (count 'em) NCAA tournament games. yup. i watched all four elite eight games plus the stanford women's game. i'm all tuckered out. :)
friday night, i had dinner with alan and ting at chili's. i got the country fried steak (as always), but now i'm thinking i should try other things on their menu. the CFS comes with this chunky mashed potato thing, and i don't like it very much. but i do eat the corn and the garlic bread for a whopping number of calories.
the most compelling game this weekend for me was arizona/illinois. i was rooting hard for arizona because they're in the pac-10, and they had the game won when they were up 15 with 4 minutes left. but then, they just choked, let the game go into overtime, and wound up losing. i was pretty upset about that.
saturday night, i had dinner with paul and company at krung thai. there are two krung thai's separated by a few miles on the same street. i thought the southern one was better, but this time, we ate at the northern one, and i must say, the food wasn't bad. the jun pad poo was suprisingly spicy, and i enjoyed it despite the burning mouth and lips.
for dinner on sunday, i stopped by pho quyen in sunnyvale and grabbed two vietnamese sandwiches at $1.95 each. they were good considering the price, but the stuff wasn't as tasty as the sandwiches i used to get in dallas. maybe i'll venture out into san jose one of these days and try some other vietnamese place's stuff.
and that was it. a lot of basketball, a little bit of eating, all in 8 awake hours each day.
so i've got asymmetrical hair growth on the area underneath my chin. it's decently thick on the right side, but sparse on the left. how weird, huh?
so last night, i went to mike's birthday dinner at buca di beppo. damn, i did not know that the dinner would last almost three hours. i was sort of mad at myself, though, because my tics made me extremely quiet. i think i hardly said three sentences the entire time. but it was good to see mike and wish him a happy 29th.
there were like 19 or 20 of us, and we sat around one loooong table. i think i've decided that sitting in the middle is no good. the conversations seemed to spring up from either end, and unfortunately, being in the middle, it was hard to participate in either one. has anyone had similar conclusions about this?
i was sort of burned out yesterday, so i went home early and just crashed on the futon while watching the NCAA tournament. ah, poor washington. i was heavily rooting for fellow pac-10 teams to advance, and WU just couldn't get it done against louisville. oh well. at least arizona advanced to the elite eight.
you know what song/jingle is stuck in my head? burger king's "tendercrisp bacon cheddar ranch" song, sung by what looks like hootie of the blowfish fame. i can't get it out of my head! although, the sandwich does look good. i don't live near a burger king, so i haven't had a whopper in a long time. yum. 780 calories of goodness right there.
speaking of commercials, i think they should have a little footnote at the bottom of the screen indicating the artist and the song of the background music. i've hear some snazzy tunes from time to time (most lately is the ipod shuffle song), and it would be nice to see who sings it just in case i want to check out their music.
*poke*
guess what?
IT'S FRIDAY!!!
:)
so as it goes, of late, i haven't been very regular. like i've said before, i take dumps every 2 or 3 days. i'm not terribly worried about the ramifications that has for my body, but i do worry about one thing: the fact that these rare dumps involve very LARGE stools. you should have seen me straining to get today's dump out. i swore i almost popped a blood vessel. and when i looked down, the thing was like two inches thick. lucky, it was at the office, or else the toilet at home would have clogged up (again) for sure.
i wonder if i should start taking metamucil.
ok, i'm off for a cig. have a good weekend folks!
yeah, so i spent $5 on a plumbing snake, got home, and flushed the toilet. this time, the water went down all the way! shit, i wasted money on something i didn't need. oh well. it'll come in useful next time i clog the shitter.
i have a birthday dinner coming up today. happy birthday mike!!! the bad news, though, is that i don't feel like going. it's not that i don't *want* to go, it's just that my tics make me not want to be around people when i could be lying in bed at home instead. sigh. like i said, being all ticcy and hurt and all just makes me antisocial. oh well. i'm gonna go and stick it out, all for mike. he's a good guy. :)
my friend alex wrote me an e-mail earlier this week, talking about his addictive personality and such. like, he gets into all these hobbies and is hooked by them. it made me think... what are my hobbies? what are my interests?
and the answer to those questions, i realized, was... nothing. i have no current hobbies or passions or interests or anything! if somebody asked me what i like to do, i'd come up with a blank face and no response. sigh. i've become BORING. and that's one of the worst adjectives somebody could be. *pukes*
i am slightly happy today, though, because cwg IM'ed me out of the blue this morning. she can't hang out this weekend, though, because she has to go home for easter festivities. but still, a random IM from her made my day. :)
you know what's sort of pathetic? i was thinking the other day about how i was all suicidal and stuff a few march's ago. and i asked myself a question (merely as an exercise), "what do i have to live for? why not kill myself now?" and the answer i came up with was... "i want to see _star wars: episode III_"
!!
i think that's fucking wrong. i mean, my answer wasn't to save my friends and family grief, it wasn't anything profound like "i want to have a family," it was a fucking MOVIE that was keeping me alive! sheesh. what i cared about the most was some film that's sure to be bad.
anyways, i think it's time for a haircut. i looked at the top of my head today in the mirror, and damn, i have a lot of grey hair! and if you look closely at my right eyelid, you'll notice grey eyelashes as well. what the hell? is this genetic? or am i just a stresscase who fret about too much stuff? likely, methinks, it's a combination of both.
you know what's on the back of my mind? my clogged toilet. yes, after four days or so, it's still fucking clogged! what's worse, i tried flushing last night, and it overflowed. yep. luckily, there was no discernable amount of "matter," so i wasn't worried about shitwater getting all over the place.
but yeah, that's one hell of a powerdump that i took a few days ago. i'm thinking about taking alex's advice and getting a plumbing snake. it looks like an interesting gadget to use.
so i heard that _american idol_ fucked up, and they have to do a re-vote. interesting; i wonder what they're going to do tonight then. filler time!
how do you pronounce "interesting?" do you say "in-ter-est-ing" or "in-trest-ing?"
brb. gonna have a smoke.
ok, i'm back! man, if i didn't have my smoking breaks, i don't know what i would do with myself. it's not the fact that i'm addicted to smoking (which i am). it's the fact that they give me two minutes of relatively tic-free and anxiety-over-the-tics-free time to myself.
back to my clogged toilet. i'm sort of disappointed in the toilet makers. i mean, i'm not a supergiant or anything, but i don't get how the toilet can get clogged up so easily. you'd think they'd put more margin into how wide the pipes are or something, right? sheesh.
i've been better at sleeping through daylight lately. remember that my haldol dosage was so high that i got to be sensitive to light, but these days, i wake up around 6:30 (when the sun starts to come out) and am able to fall back asleep. *cheer* i'm on SIX mg's of haldol, too. they're not helping my tics, so i think i'm going to go up to eight after seeing my psych next month.
so does anybody have good friday off? we don't, and it sucks. i can't believe that the next holiday i'm gonna get is all the way out in may (memorial day). *RAAR*
i still see k4 on IM these days. and seeing her name gives me a bad taste in my mouth. it's not that i'm still interested in her (i'm SO NOT interested), but i just remember the events that unfolded between us two, and i just feel a little bit sick. yeah, maybe i should take her off my IM list.
*blech* that was a topic i didn't feel like retouching.
on a lighter note, hump day is almost over! the rest is just an acceleration towards the weekend. not that i've been doing anything smashing over saturday and sunday, but at least i don't have to work. :)
ok, sorry for the lack of interesting content. but i'm off to buy me a plumbing snake! wish me luck!
man, debugging can be frustrating. especially if you don't fully understand the design, as is my case. i HATE taking over other people's code. *RAAR*
i had a great night of sleep last night. i also dreamt that i was french kissing amie, a high school friend of mine. it's strange, because i haven't heard from her in years, and the last time i saw her was like 10 years ago. but either way, the kissing was nice. lots of tongue :)
i wish i could control my dreams. because if i could, i'd make all my dreams about amorous activities with women. *sigh* it would be so nice...
i plugged up the toilet again. it was two days ago, when i took a very very hard and long dump. when i flushed, i was prepared to quickly lift the lid on the back of the toilet and stop the flow of water. and sure enough, the water level just climbed and climbed. !!
the thing is, though, i gave it a whole day to settle, and last night, when i tried flushing again, the same thing happened. i ran up stairs to grab a plunger, and plunged for a long time, but to no avail. shit! what should i do? you'd think the log of a dump i took would have softened up by now, right?
*yawn* i'm tired.
i always thought that a good weapon to kill someone with would be a very sharp icicle. that way, the weapon melts, and the forensic dudes would not be able to get any fingerprints or fibers or whatever off of something that no longer exists. smart, huh?
i think i'm going to go home early today. grab some arby's (with the coupon, thank you very much) and lie down when i get back. it's been a stressful few days at work, and i think i need a break.
i'm a very squeamish person. in movies, i can handle most gunshot scenes no problem, but when it involves a knife or decapitation or something that shows guts, i can't deal with it. some examples are:
1) the first 20 minutes of _saving private ryan_
2) the last part of _total recall_ where the people's eyes bug out
3) the disembowling of _braveheart_
just to name a few. what are your "i can't watch" scenes?
man, it's been a crazy few hours of debugging here at work. i feel good, though, because i actually found something that was wrong with my code; i have a proud sense of accomplishment here.
what is up with the weather here? one moment it's beautiful and sunny, and the other moment, it's cloudy and rainy. temperamental, i say.
i drink a lot of liquids during the weekdays. i get my 4-vitasoy kick, plus some dr pepper, and now i'm drinking gatorade. i don't get this kind of hydration at home, though, and weekends find me terribly dry and dehydrated.
let's see here... what to talk about...
i feel bad over the fact that i had two birthday parties this past saturday (cindy's and rainbow's), but i didn't make it to either. i was just feeling all worn out from ticcing that i didn't want to go out at all. looking back, i should have gone to at least one of those parties and give a good birthday hug to the girl(s).
yeah, this is what happens when i'm in a tourette's breakdown. i get all antisocial and stuff because being out among people (and not lying down) makes me tic like crazy. and i just don't enjoy that kind of existence.
anyways, i look forward to going to bed tonight. there's no good television to watch, so i bet i'll be in bed by 8pm. crazy, huh? i am sleeping my life away.
my fingers are cold. i wonder if my blood circulation is bad. that scares me because if it gets bad enough, i'll have to get my extremities amputated. !!
i wonder how life would be if i didn't have hands. i bet it would be very difficult to navigate through the basic functions of life. like eating; i'd have to get these special devices attached to my nubbins to allow me to cut food and put it in my mouth. i don't even want to think about how i'd be able to wank myself off. hehe.
i am craving cheesecake. at dinner last night, teddy mentioned how this guy at the cheesecake factory to him that a slice of a godiva chocolate cheesecake was like two THOUSAND calories. i find that hard to believe, how one slice of cake would equal your entire days' worth of calories. maybe that's how i can gain some weight: scarf down cheesecake.
i was sort of sad at last night's dinner. i used to see alan and ting practically every day while they were my roommates, but now it takes a planned effort to just catch a glimpse of them. i miss them terribly. sigh.
ok, i'm off. take care of yourselves!
not much happened. i'm totally wasting away my weekends due to my ailing tics. sigh.
friday night, i witnessed stanford lose horribly to mississippi state. i was happy when we were up by 12 in the first half, but after msu came back and took the lead, stanford just self-destructed. we lost by over 20, i think.
saturday, i watched some more of the ncaa tournament before heading out to san jose to catch a film in the asian american film festival, _the year of the yao_. it was a documentary of yao ming's first season in the NBA, and i enjoyed it.
they were really paranoid about people in the audience recording the movie, and the ushers sported infrared binoculars the entire duration, looking for people who were illegally taping the film.
sunday, i didn't do much either. watched some more basketball, took a nap, and met up with alan, ting and company for dinner at sneha. i didn't eat much because i had a late lunch, and i was pretty uncomfortable the whole time because of my tics. sigh.
the bottom line here is that i have got to get out of his tourette's funk. it's ruining my life, and i don't know what i can do about it. *RAAR*
google phrase of the day:
"does an East Indian girl's vagina smell like curry?"
hahaha! a pretty funny concern, if you ask me. i do wonder if it might be true, though. i mean, i have worked with a lot of indian people, and some of them have an interesting smell. i wonder if it's because curry (like garlic) can seep through a person's pores.
i like curry, but i wonder if i would chow a girl's box if it smelled like it. hm.
man, my tics have been HORRIBLE of late. i look like a twitching fool, and i have been smoking a lot to calm myself down. i have a few social activities going on for this weekend, but i don't know if i'll be able to go in this current state. :( damn, i hate tourette's sometimes, and that is an understatement.
why is it that we like the smell of our own farts? even when it's rancid, i don't mind my own flatulence. when it comes out of another person's ass, sometimes i just can't take it. why is that?
i am so looking forward to lying down when i get home. i'm sorry of worried about myself, though, because wednesday i saw my chiropractor AND my masseuse, and neither of them could do anything to help me. so what the fuck am i going to do about the pain in my neck? from the way it looks, it might be permanent. *RAAR*
i miss march madness. what i mean is, there have been years when i wasn't working during the tournament. one time was when i was clinically depressed, and another time was during my east coast tour. both time, i was in front of the tv during the first and second rounds, and all i did was watch basketball. this time, i feel so far removed from the action. although, tonight is the stanford vs. mississippi state game, and i plan on watching it.
i went with my coworker T today to mitsuwa to get some japanese fast food. we both got pork katsu curry, and it just demonstrated why i don't like tonkatsu: the pork is overcooked and dry! chicken katsu is the way to go, i've decided.
so my chiropractor is pushing me hard to go on this special no-carb diet. he truly believes it'll eliminate my tics. and while that is an attractive thing to do, i just don't have the faith that it'll do anything for my tourette's. he even found a guy on the web to cook for me. and while i want to thank my chiro for his concern and his proactiveness, i just want to tell him to shove off and leave me alone.
i don't know why i am so against this diet. surely, it would be something to try, and the upside is that i might be "cured" of my tics. however, i just don't believe that an allergy to food is the root cause of my disorder. something about this whole situation annoys me; i can't pin down the reason, but i'm just bothered by it all.
anyways, i'm heading off soon. have a good weekend, folks!
during our monthly ice cream social today, they didn't have cookies 'n cream (my favorite flavor), but they did have rocky road. even though i don't like chocolate, there's something exquisite about marshmallows in ice cream. yum.
shit. i just checked the americal idol website, and they vote off lindsey cardinale! *RAAR* i admit that she do a good job on tuesday night, but i thought there were worse performances. sigh. there goes one reason for me to watch the show. :(
oh, the reason why i don't watch the american idol results shows is that they conflict with alias. yup, i'm still faithfully watching alias, even though the show kinda sucks nowadays. and last night's "big secret weapon" turned out to be nothing more than a toy helicopter fitted with two machine guns. lame. and it's also just absolutely silly how sydney managed to run faster than bullets.
my neck really hurts these days. they don't hurt as much when i'm lying down, but the problem with this is that after a long period of inactivity (like when i sleep), the muscles actually stiffen up so that they hurt even more when i wake up in the morning. sigh. i need a way out of this tourette's downward spiral.
so cwg is gone, as you all know. she's still on IM, but i find it sort of odd to ask a girl out over IM. so i haven't done it. what do you guys think? is it awkward to do it over instant messaging? what other options do i have now?
but anyways, now that she's gone, i can start playing basketball over lunch again. haha. it's silly how i sacrified my only exercise routine just to be able to catch a glimpse of her in the cafeteria. :) i'm quite pathetic, no?
does anyone have any good stock tips? i have some cash in my etrade account that's just sitting there, not doing anything. i feel like i'm doing something terribly wrong, i.e. neglecting my investing activities.
i think it's supposed to rain over the weekend. drat. although, that just means i can veg out in front of the tv watching college basketball the entire time.
do cars nowadays come with cigarette lighters? i haven't seen one in a long time, but they used to be very prevalent in older cars, right? i remember one time, i punched the lighter in, and after it got hot and popped out, i touched it to my index finger. DAMN. that hurt, and my finger smelled oddly like fried chicken. it turns my skin white and sort of crackly, too. yeah, i've done some stupid shit in my life.
hey there. i just got back from my chiropractor appointment. i still don't know if this stuff is for real or not. i mean, after he did whatever adjustments were deemed necessary, things felt better for a while, but now, it's all back to the way it was before: sore and tight and painful. hm. is chiropractic a crock of shit?
in light of the fact that i've had a stiff neck for a few months now, i've scheduled a massage tonight. looking forward to it.
i feel like my body has broken down. aside from my neck pains, it hurts to lift my left arm, and when i'm sleeping, my lower back hurts. the other night, i started also having chest pains, which scared me because it could have been a heart attack.
nothing much to report here. i had japanese food today, and the chicken teriyaki was SUPERDRY. i mean, it was like chewing soft pieces of wood. *blech* at least they didn't ruin the tempura, although they didn't give me any of my favorite vegetable tempura: broccoli. something about deep-fried battered broccoli just makes it delicious.
as far as _american idol_ goes, i didn't think anthony fedorov did such a bad job. it was sort of weird to hear him sing a slow version of "breaking up is hard to do," because i'm so used to the original version. but anyways, the judges railed on him, and i actually sort of liked his rendition. on another _ai_ note, i think anwar robinson's voice is really good.
what's weird is people doing google searches for porn involving _ai_ contestants. i've already gotten a few "lindsey cardinale naked" hits from search engines. i mean, it's not the fact that these people are searching for them that gives me pause, but i just think they're a little stupid to think that contestant porn is available on the web. *shrug*
my two smoking buddies just both bummed cigarettes off of me. damn. my daily quota is usually 10, and i take cigarettes given to others in consideration. so that means two less that i can smoke today.
so fyi, yesterday was cwg's last day at the company. she's started work at some other client, and i already feel a little sad. it's not that our IM's were terribly long, or our lunchroom smiles and waves amounted to much, but just her presence made my life seem better. *sigh*
man, this is a slow week.
been a decent day. i started debugging my stuff, and it partially works! we'll see how long it takes me to get it fully functional.
ok, some dude asked me about my "diet" and how i lost nearly 50 pounds. basically, i just ate a lot less. sometimes i substituted a bowl of special K cereal for a meal, othertimes i just skipped meals entirely. i know it's not healthy to skip meals, but i did it anyway. and going to italy/spain for two weeks also made me drop 10 pounds. i guess i just wasn't as hungry in europe.
anyways, this getting up at 10 thing is making me groggy and sleepy. i hope my body is able to adjust to getting up earlier.
i took a huge log of a dump this morning at the office. damn, was it huge... i was afraid it was going to rip my sphincter in half! heehee. luckily, it didn't clog up the toilet drain, although it did leave some skidmarks on the bottom of the bowl.
and whoever told me about the arby's coupons, thank you! i used them last night. got a chicken filet sandwich, a beef 'n cheddar, and four mozarella sticks. yum. that last one is a great thing to behold... deep-fried battered cheese! what could be better than that?
yesterday, i was surfing the american idol site, and i noticed that nikko smith was there. i remembered that he got cut last week, so i did some sleuthing. so it turns out that mario vasquez dropped out due to "personal reasons." i wonder what that was all about. i mean, he was pretty into the competition, so what would make a person voluntarily quit? *ponder*
i have a fondness for good pork eggrolls. they had them today downstairs in the cafeteria. shit, i only had one... i should have gotten more.
you know who surprisingly does a good eggroll? jack in the box! yup. i routinely get eggrolls from there, at $1.09 a pop. they're a good way to supplement my caloric intake. once again, deep-fried foods rule. :)
what's the point of a penis pump? i've seen ones that claim to make your schlong bigger, and others that claim to feel like a blowjob. so which is it? or are there two "flavors" of pumps? has anyone out there tried one? how does the blobjob simulation feel?
one time, we got this love sheep for a drawmate's birthday. it was a black blow-up doll that took the form of a sheep. "ana the love ewe" was its name. hehe. i wonder if my friend still has it somewhere.
that's the thing with objects that are lost. they're *out* there somewhere, and it's just that i don't know where that place is. i think about my favorite abercrombie hat, one that i wore all the time, and i lost it. it's gotta be somewhere in the universe, and i'll never find out what happened to it. very sad, very troubling, and very astounding at the same time.
ok, i've run out of things to say. time to drink some gatorade.
i've been snacking today. i'm finally taking advantaged of the subsidized vending machine that we have. so far, i've down a small bag of bbq lay's, and a pack of gummy peach rings. that's a decent number of calories right there.
i'm hovering around 160 pounds right now, but i only had two meals the entire weekend, so i'm trying to make up for lost calories.
so the stanford men got an 8 seed in the ncaa tournament. that bums me out because it means that if we win our first round game, we'll have to go up against #1-seeded duke. it just looks really bleak. i think the same thing happened a few years ago, when we were an 8 seed and had to play kansas in the 2nd round. ouch.
and on the women's side, i'm disappointed and sort of shocked that they didn't get a 1 seed even though they're ranked #1 in the polls. what the fuck is up with that?
i've been avoiding going to see my chiropractor because i'm afraid he'll bug me about going on that no-carb diet. but he called me yesterday, and i made an appointment to see him on wednesday. on one hand, i'm sort of hopeful that he'll be able to work out the kinks in my (still) stiff neck, but on the other hand, i know he's going to ask me why i haven't gone on the diet yet. ick. i hate letting people down.
i still can't believe that a vagina can stretch wide enough to expel a baby. that is some crazy shit! if i were a girl, i'd be petrified of having kids. i am a wuss when it comes to pain. hence my fear of needles and knives/blades.
i don't know why i brought that up. hm. i think it's because a decent number of my college friends are having kids right now. i know that birth is a miracle of sorts, but realistically speaking, it frightens the bejeezus out of me.
speaking of vein-poppers, i get scared every time i take a dump that's hard to push out. after i wipe and put my pants back on, i flush very cautiously, eyeing the water level and trying to detect any hint of it rising. after i flooded the downstairs hallway a few months ago, i've just been paranoid of doing it again. shit water is so nasty!
one time freshman year, during our dorm ski trip, somebody flooded the toilet. i didn't get to see what was in the toilet bowl, so my first instinct was to help clean it up. we used our bare hands and paper towels to soak up the water. then, somebody lifted the toilet bowl lid, and i saw that it was filled up to the top with SPP. (that's shit, piss and puke.) i felt sick afterwards.
ok, enough of that talk. on to happier things!
i wonder what i'm going to eat tonight. i have a hankering for sushi, but i am in a cheap mood and don't want to spend the money. eating dinner during the weekdays is such a sad affair these days, now that i don't have any roommates around.
have any of you ever gone to a restaurant by yourself? i've done it a few times (back in college), and i always felt a little pathetic. i dunno. i guess i expect meals to be prime social interaction times. *shrug*
ok, i'm off.
wow, i pretty much wasted this weekend.
friday night, i joined alan and ting at togo's for a quick dinner before watching _hostage_, the new bruce willis flick. it was pretty bad, i have to say. afterwards, i went home and caught the end of stanford's loss to washington. oh well. we put up a good fight.
saturday was the biggest waste. i was up for a total of SIX hours. yup, i got up at 2pm, watched college basketball, and went to bed at eight. i had one meal, which consisted of a big mac coupled with a jamba juice smoothie.
sunday, i got up at 9:30 or so and met up with mike and the gang for a hiking expedition at portola redwoods park. we hiked for three hours, and it was a bit steep in places, and i was huffing and puffing at times.
i wish i could have enjoyed the hike more, but i was preoccupied with my tics the whole time. sigh.
we did have to wade across a creek. the bridges were moved out for some reason, and when we came back, we met the creek. so the option was hiking backwards for another 4 miles or so, or taking off our shoes and socks and just crossing the creek. i was tired, so i relented to the potential ugliness and waded across. it was quite an adventure!
i went home, took a nap, grabbed my only meal of the day (a la bamba burrito), and went to bed early.
man, work is stressful right now. :(
so getting up at 10 today was sort of painful. i could tell that my body needed more sleep. it protested loudly as i dragged myself out of bed.
anyways, not in much of a mood to write today. it's friday, but it has the feel an earlier weekday.
i'm just really tired. part of it may be because i started taking these muscle relaxant meds as prescribed by my psych. or maybe a part of it is staying up later than usual watching the stanford/washington state basketball game last night. man, that was a tough game, and i'm glad that we pulled it out. bring on washington!
no plans for the weekend. tonight was supposed to be a dinner with jan and her fiance shaun, but people couldn't make it, so the evite was cancelled. that sucks. i feel bad that jan has been here all this time (moved out here from michigan last summer), but i haven't seen her yet. *RAAR* phooey on my laziness!
i haven't taken a dump in two days. it's weird. i used to be so regular, but i've started lately to miss dumps. at least it isn't as bad as missing periods if i were a girl.
so how about that _star wars_ trailer during last night's _OC_? i know not to expect much from george lucas in terms of dialogue and acting, but i'm interested in the plot and how anakin kills everyone with his lightsaber. at least those scenes should be good. :) don't fuck it up, george!
speaking of the _OC_, i don't think ryan and marisa should get back together. why? because i hate marisa. i mean, she's sort of good-looking (the more i see her, the i don't think she's hot), but there's a terrible actress. and more importantly, there's nothing good about her character on the show. marisa just doesn't have any redeeming qualities for a viewer to like her.
i need to shave. i use electric shavers because i'm afraid of blades. in japan, when i got haircuts there, they would use one of those actual flip-out/folding blade thingies. i was always afraid that i'd tic, and the blade would slice me up. luckily, that never happened, but still, those were scary moments.
biting your tongue off is a terrible thing to do. it must hurt like a mofo. sorry, random thought.
ok, i'm off. have a great weekend people!
it seems that for me, the weeks start slowly, and then they accelerate once i get through wednesday. woot! it's thursday already!
got some important tv to watch tonight. first up is _the OC_, and before that episode ends, the stanford/washington state game starts. i hope we don't get beat by wazzu for a third straight time, that's all i can say.
i'm gonna have to get up earlier to go into work for a few months. yup, originally they scheduled a DAILY 9am meeting, but after my protests, they pushed it back to 10am. man, that's still early for me, and we'll see how groggy i can be when i get up at that time.
yes, i know. i'm a lazy ass for thinking that 10 is early, but it is! especially for a guy who can sleep well into the pm.
i'm sorry that nikko smith got booted from _ai_ last night. he did a good version of "georgia on my mind" on monday. i thought scott should have gone instead.
i'm excited for the _star wars_ trailer during _the OC_ tonight. i want to see more light saber action! really, that's all that makes me happy... seeing people fight it out with glowing sticks. i love the sounds that they make, that low-buzzing woosh and stuff. if the whole movie were light saber fights, i wouldn't mind. :)
oops. i just plucked out a hair while picking my nose. i hope that i never get a stuffed up pore in my nose... that would hurt, and i bet it would be damn hard to pop!
i love popping blisters and zits. i get blisters from time to time at night when i scratch furiously at the soles of my feet. the next morning, if a blister shows, i take my nail clippers and puncture it. yeah, it hurts for a while, especially when i walk or take showers, but it's worth the satisfaction of the popping moment. and zits, man oh man! i mean, i don't get them that often, but when i get a juicy one, it feels so good to squeeze until the thing gives way. blood on the mirror!
the weather's been gorgeous out. i think today they're supposed to reach record highs in some parts of the bay area. weather like that makes me rue the fact that i work indoors in a cubicle with no windows.
i sort of miss my european vacation. i mean, i was miserable during parts of it, but looking back, as is always the case, things seem better than they actually were. the best part about it was not having to work. my tics got better during the course of the two weeks i was out there, and in the tic-induced-funk that i'm in right now, i long for those days of not worrying about office-related happenings.
ok, i'm off. have a good rest of the day everyone!
i had dinner with alan last night. i always feel bad these days about hanging out with friends because i'm not myself. my tics make me very anxious and quiet, and my friends are only getting half of me, if that. sigh.
i saw my psych today. i got three prescriptions. two of them were the usual (haldol and benztropine), although the haldol has now been upped from 4mg to 6mg a day. he also prescribed me a muscle relaxant to combat my aching neck. i hope this shit works and doesn't just put me to sleep.
i saw cwg today. she looked good in her grey/pink argyle sweater. i LOVE argyle! i used to collect argyle socks from the gap and banana republic, and now i have over half a dozen pairs. but anyways, we did the usual eye contact + smile + wave thing, and that made my day because i haven't seen her in a while.
i think girls look good in pink. *bliss* guys, i'm not so sure. it takes a special man to be able to pull off pink, and i haven't seen too many of those around. heh.
like mallory, alan said i need a shakeup. i do. but i just don't have the courage or energy to find something that provides such an inspiration in my life. mallory suggested that i move to china. alan says i should get a hobby. either way, i'm not so inclined to do either.
i did, however do something out of the ordinary today. i purchased something from amazon.com. yup. last year, i think i bought one thing off of their website, and the previous year, i made THIRTY-EIGHT such purchases. so what did i get? the new erasure album and the final season of _sex and the city_. yes, i know that the latter is sort of a lame purchase because i haven't even gotten through seasons 3-5 yet, but they were on sale, so i said why the hell not.
it's warm today! in some places in the bay area, they're projecting a high of 80. imagine that. 80 in winter still! anyways, the wonder weather outside just makes me want to go home and take a nap.
has anybody had this experience? you sleep without the covers on, and the next thing you know, you've got the runs? it happens to me without fail; some nights i'll accidentally kick off the covers in bed, and BAM! i get diarrhea. it sucks.
i wonder if kids are getting exposed to sex more and more because of the internet. i mean, porn sites are everywhere and easily accessible, spam e-mails contain sexual images, and even a google image search can turn up naked people doing all sorts of nasty deeds. man, i feel bad for parents right now if they want to keep their kids away from porn.
anyways, my life is in a rut right now. a tourette's induced rut of hell. man, i have got to get this sorted out. hopefully the haldol works, but i'm not too optimistic about it.
wow, i was in a two-hour meeting today, from 2:30 to 4:30. now i'm exhausted.
i can't believe that dude in the suspenders and the beret sang a bobby brown song on _american idol_ last night. what was that, from the movie _ghostbusters 2_? it was very painful to watch and completely unenjoyable. even his dancing looked bad; he did the moonwalk!
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i'm not sure how much i'm going to write today. it's almost 5pm, and i have got some stuff i need to get done.
the weather's been great out here. for the first time in a while, i'm in a short-sleeved polo instead of a long-sleeved t-shirt. of course, i'd rather be naked, hehe. yeah, these days i've been watching the bulk of my nightly tv sans clothing. :)
i think i'm a closet nudist.
mondays and tuesdays are my nailbiting days; during the rest of the week, i let my fingernails grow, and come the beginning of the workweek, i whittle them down with my teeth. hehe.
my parents used to try to stop me from biting my nails. they would do all sorts of things to keep me from biting, from dipping my fingers in hot sauce to putting on nail polish. that last one was really traumatizing, because what boy wears fucking nail polish? yeah, the kids at school used to make fun of me for that. :( (and, fyi, the nail polish was hot pink!)
it's been a long day. sigh. i'm supposed to have dinner with alan tonight (because ting has a dinner date), so i'm looking forward to that. :) now if i could only get my tics under control so i could actually *enjoy* my meal with him.
it's wedding season coming up. i've got potentially three of them to go to, and two of them are on the same memorial day weekend and in different non-californian states, so i have no idea how i'm going to swing that one. maybe i'll go to neither? we shall see.
i am stingy when it comes to weddings. i don't like the fact that i have to pay lots of money for a plane ticket, hotel, car rental, etc. i'm mainly just afraid of driving around and getting lost in a strange land. call me a wuss, i know it's true.
ok, that's enough typing for the day. i'll catch you guys later (tomorrow), ok?
wow, i am tired today. very strange, given the amount of time i spend in bed. or maybe that's the reason i'm tired: i just sleep too fucking much.
tics are pretty bad. they's gotten to the point where i still tic when i first light up a cigarette. which is pretty alarming because my smoking breaks are the only conscious thing i can do to combat the tics for a few minutes. i'm seeing my psych this wednesday, so i'm going to ask for an uppage of my haldol medication.
my lifestyle has shifted to the point where i am in bed by 8 or 9. man! a few years ago, i used to stay up until 2am for whatever reason. looking back, i have no clue what i used to do or how i spent my time that late. sort of weird, huh? nowadays, if you ask me what i have in my life to stay up for, i wouldn't be able to give you an answer. hence going to bed early. yes, i'm one sad mofo.
boy's night on _american idol_ tonight. the way i see it, none of the girls will be able to challenge the boys this season. i would be very surprised to see a female win the competition. the talent on the girls' side just isn't there. not to say that i think there's one guy who clearly outdistances the rest, but i just think the guys as a collective group heavily outshine the girls.
i feel like drinking a beer right now. what IS it with me and beer?
ok. i'll have a dr pepper instead. hold on.
we went to tomi sushi for lunch today. on one hand, it was good to get away from the cafeteria food that i usually get (mondays usually is pasta), but on the other hand, that meant that i couldn't have my run-in with cwg. usually, we just make eye contact, smile, and wave to each other. it isn't much, but it makes my day to know that we're friendly to each other.
fyi, there is not much going on pertaining to cwg. she's simply too busy to chat on IM, to chat in person, even on weekends. in fact, for the past two weekends, she's worked both saturday and sunday. not a good time to ask to hang out, i guess. we'll see what happens when her gig is up at the company come mid march.
all of this just means that i'm procrastinating with my potential lovelife. which isn't surprising, given my wussy nature. we'll see if i actually have the balls to ask her out when i run out of excuses not to. :)
wish me luck! give me encouragement!
didn't do a whole lot this weekend, especially on sunday.
saturday, i woke up at 12:30pm and waited for cindy to come over to watch the stanford/washington game. washington was ranked #10 in the nation, so i didn't have high hopes for us winning. that said, we played pretty well, and won! i was still nervous when we were up with a few minutes to go, and i got excited only when there were seconds left on the clock. you never know when a team gets super-hot and scores 10 points in 60 seconds, you know?
we split a sausage mushroom and jalepeno pizza, which was pretty good considering it was from domino's. and cindy left right after the game. after that, it was off to the office to do my taxes. i did a haphazard job, and it took an hour. i'm getting $3000 back! woo-hoo! i just hope i don't get audited. *knocks on wood*
i had dinner with jay at pho quyen, this awesome place in sunnyvale that offered an $8.99 combo that came with appetizers, a bowl of pho, and a beer. i don't like beer, but having said that, i've had two beers this past week. go figure. and, on a related note, in 2004, i never got drunk once. perhaps i should kick up my drinking a notch, eh?
sunday was completely boring. i watched the unc/duke game, and the heat/cavs game and took a nap in the living room on the futon. i talked to alan for a bit, and he (once again) chided me for living alone, paying an exorbitant rent that i can't afford. sigh. and i also talked to carol for a bit; it was nice to hear her voice again.
and that was it. i skipped dinner, which explains why all i could think about last night (while trying to go to sleep) was food. sigh. i need more stuff going on in my life than television and sleep.
well, actually, it's entry number 2700-something, but i thought it was still a landmark number.
i can't remember how it was that i used to put up 5 entries (or even more) a day. my brain just doesn't come up with stuff to say anymore. no random thoughts, no interesting anecdotes. maybe i've said all that i've needed to say by now, with all this typing.
i miss alan. he's busy, caught up in his own life (with ting, as well), and i haven't seen him in about a week. it's so strange, given that we roomed together for so long, and i'm using to him being around all the time. sigh. i think i'm still suffering from roommate-type empty nest syndrome. gotta get over that shit.
anyways, my wingman W took me to this vietnamese place in san jose. lion's plaza is what i think it's called. we ate at this food court that served some pretty good noodles. i got the regular pho, but W got this crab ball tomato-based soup that looked pretty good. and all for under $6 per person! no tax!
we also had these bao (buns) filled with ground beef, chinese sausage, and a hard-boiled egg. interesting, and decently tasty.
not sure what my weekend plans are. i think i'm watching the stanford vs. washington game tomorrow with a friend. i'm really anxious because we lost to washington state last night in a horrible showing of offensive ineptitude. (we scored less than 50 points!). i am really fretting about stanford not getting into the NCAA tournament.
i'm waiting to get an e-mail from my old company's hr girl regarding my stock options exercise so i can do my taxes this weekend. yup, i think this is the weekend to do it. usually, i'm done with my taxes by mid-february, but i've just been lazy this year. but i think i'm coming into work over the weekend and doing the deed using turbotax online. it's so convenient! paperless and everything.
i need to find some more friends, i think. aside from getting from R&R, i'm sort of not looking forward to weekends anymore because no on is every around to hang out with me. sigh. i used to be pretty independent, but nowadays, i crave social interaction. what happened to me? what happened to the virtual only-child that used to be able to entertainment himself all the time?
anyways... i guess i'm feeling osrry for myself. not a good thing. i better get off this self-pitying before it starts to drag me down.
so have a good weekend everybody! i'll see you on monday!
well, it's thursday, and i'm feeling ok. not totally ok, because of my tics, as usual. sigh.
yesterday, i had dinner with ben. we went to giovanni's pizzeria. damn, that shit is good, except when it gets cold. so there's only a small window of time where the pizza tastes delicious. it's too bad it doesn't last. hm. oh well. just eat it really quickly, and it'll be all good. :)
so apparently celena rae was one of the girls that got voted off last night. (i can't watch the _american idol_ on wednesdays because it conflicts with _alias_.) that's too bad, because i thought she was kinda cute. i mean, i dig her short hair and everything, although i have absolutely no recollection of her performance, which is a bad thing. they should have booted janay castine off, though, instead of celena.
these days, my life consists of sleep and work and television. that's it. you can throw in a little food in there, but really, that's all that i've got going on. i do love sleep, though. and i'm eating enough food to have gained around five pounds. yup, i'm back to 160 now, which i think is a better weight than 155.
sometimes i wonder how much better i'd look (naked) if i worked out. i mean, if i really dedicated myself to lifting weights and stuff. a buff dardy would be really cool, i bet, and i'd be tempted to walk around topless and stuff in front of people. but nah, i think weightlifting is a self-imposed form of modern torture, so it's not like it'll ever happen for me. but i just wonder, though.
maybe i should do steroids. hehe.
the latest espn bracketology report has stanford being an 8th seed in the upcoming tournament. i think that's a little too generous, and i'm hoping it won't happen, because that means if we win in the first round, we'll have to play a #1 seed. that's bad news. remember kansas a few years ago? they just ran us over!
in the men's bathroom, there are two small stalls and one big one in the back. of course, everyone goes for the big stall, so when it's occupied and other needing-a-dump people come in, they always check that door first. i don't know about you, but i need my space when i take a dump. i get a little claustrophobic in the small stalls, and the worst thing is, people can see my shoes and know who i am.
at least they're not japanese toilets. do you know about those? instead of a standard toilet that you sit on, it's a fixture in the ground where you have to squat over to take a shit. being that close to my own defecated mass really grosses me out. i avoided all japanese toilets when i lived in japan, except for this one time when i *had* to go and there was no choice. ick.
my poor dad. he flew out from taiwan to dallas today, and he's flying back in two days. he's mainly here to pick up medicine for my mom. that's one hell of a commute just for some drugs, man. :( poor mom. i hope she gets better soon. it's a heartbreaker seeing your parents (or anybody) get old.
and on that note, i shall leave you. have a good day folks.
hey there people. i'm writing an hour early because i've got the time.
so last night's _american idol_ featured the 10 remaining girls. to be honest (which is a catchphrase of simon), none of the performances wowed me. i was hoping that cute girl lindsey cardinale would put up a good perf, but in the end, she disappointed just like the rest of them. and i really don't like mikalah (or however you spell it). her voice bugs.
i took my first dump in like 5 days today. it was a rather hefty one, no doubt due to all the crap (literally speaking) that's been backlogged in my system. it felt good to get rid of it, though; i feel lighter on my feet now that i've expunged the stuff.
it's amazing how cigarettes calms me down. i don't know whether it's the nicotine alone or it mixing with the haldol that's in my system, but i feel all peaceful and stuff when i'm smoking. which is good, because i need these breaks from my tics very badly.
cwg was wearing a nice shirt today. it's really cool how good clothes can make a person even more attractive... it's like good wrapping paper around an already good gift... yum!
so i have tv shows around 8 or 9pm, so what i do is take my nightly shower before then and watch the shows naked in my bedroom. it's been pretty comfortable (being without clothing), although the angle of the tv from my futon bed make my neck uncomfortable and sore. oh well. i do like lounging about naked, so i think i'll keep this routine up. tonight it's _alias_ at 9.
_alias_ hasn't been too good, though. there's not much of a main plotline running through all the episodes. it's more like a serial where each episode is self-contained, and you don't need any backstory or anything to understand where the show is going. i miss the old rambaldi plotline.
yesterday, i spent nearly $10 at arby's. damn, that shit is expensive! i got a chicken sandwich, a beef 'n cheddar, and a small order of mozarella sticks. all of which was good, but i am just wary of spending that much on fast food. i think i'll have a wet burrito tonight; lunch consisted of some bad fish and an even nastier attempt a chicken cordon bleu.
does anybody out there have a lot of experience with vcs (synopsys simulation tool)? i'm running one, and it crashes out because i use up too much memory. is there a way to increase the amount of memory i can use to run a sim? much appreciated if you can help me.
things with cwg are stalling a bit because she's so busy. i want to ask her out over the weekend, but like this past weekend, she worked both days. so hm. i might have to wait until her gig at my company's all finished up before she has time to see me.
in the meantime, though, i'm just trying to make some daily or semi-daily contact. this is mainly over IM, although during lunch, we usually make eye contact, smile, and wave. you have no idea how much this makes my day, especially when i have to suffer through the occasionally nasty food that they serve.
anyways, she's very cute. i don't know if everyone would agree with me, but i find her to be pretty cute. and that's all that matters. :)
not feeling like writing today. my tics are getting so bad that i can't sit still in my chair. the only reprieves i get are during my 2-minute cigarette appointments. arrgh.
anyways, last night's _american idol_ (the guys were singing) was actually decently good. the guys didn't sing as many cheese ballads, and i enjoyed their performances for the most part. we'll see if the girls can do the same tonight.
i really need to go home and just relax.
more and more people know about cwg. it used just be wingman W, but now it's gotten to the point where two of my coworkers were discussing me and her in the hallway. i don't want this publicity! i gotta make an effort to tell these people to keep it on the down low.
wow, it's only tuesday. this week has been going by very slowly.
have you ever burped and accidentally regurgitated some of food you had just eaten? that just happened to me now. unfortunately, it wasn't anything tasty; instead, it was the bad "indian" food (note the quotes) they served in the company cafeteria. ick. eww.
i'm tired of having tics. i don't know what happened. i was doing fine, and then last march they just came back in full force. and now, it's steadily degenerating to the point where i'm useless. sigh.
maybe i need to go back to seeing my chiropractor. i'm sort of afraid of calling him up because he'll bug me about going on that no-carb diet, but maybe i can just tell him to lay off of me and just give me a fucking adjustment. *shrug*
ok, that's enough out of me today. gonna have a smoke and just calm down.