google phrase of the day:
"bukkake work wanted"
hm. is there a job market for this stuff? like, is there a listing on monster.com for "willing to get bucketfulls of spooge dumped on my face?" how odd!
i am full. we had our ice cream social, apparently every 3rd thursday in the month. i had some cookie dough, some cookies and cream, and some buttered pecan. damn, that's a lot of ice cream. but yesterday, i weighed myself, and i was 160, so that's a good sign that i'm gaining weight.
i thought for a moment about inviting cwg to join us. they don't know about these ice cream events because they don't get company e-mail. but i balked at the last minute because from her brief IM today, she seemed really busy. and she looked tired, too, with her hair in a ponytail. i wonder if she had a late night yesterday.
my tics are flaring up to the point where i'm sort of paralyzed. i've been having cigarettes very often these days to combat the anxiety (over the tics). hm. and the extra haldol (i'm on 4mg a day) isn't helping either. i wonder what's up.
my neck isn't doing much better, either. i got my massage yesterday, and there were a lot of sore spots on my neck. i didn't feel much better afterwards, and i almost asked for acupuncture, despite my fear of needles. yuck.
the water at my place is very kooky. sometimes, there's enough hot water for a nice long hot scalding shower, but other times, like last night, there was only a few minutes worth before it got lukewarm. *RAAR* i like my showers hot!
i need to look for a roommate soon. if any of you out there has a friend who is looking to rent a place in mountain view, send them my way! the empty room i have right now is very nice... it's big, has its own balcony AND its own double occupancy bathroom (meaning two sinks and a large shower space).
i'm tired. tired of the chase. hell, my chases the past half decade have never worked out, so i have spent all this energy and time and emotion... all for nothing. sigh. i mean, it's one thing if the chase actually produced some results, but i've struck out so many fucking times! it's getting old.
ok, that's enough from me today. i'm spent.