been feeling listless today. not unlike other days, i suppose, but the impending two-week break is giving me a serious case of senioritis.
what bothers me, though, is that i'm banking too much on this break, and after that, it's a whole long stretch of work ahead. i'm worried about that, i.e. the idea of working for a long time without a break. sigh. it looks bleak after december is over.
so! anyone travelling for the holidays? anyone going to be around here? i guess i'm going to have to occupy myself for a long time. if anyone is going to be around and free, i'll be sure to get in touch with you so we can hang out.
anyways, _scrubs_ is a repeat tonight, so i can skip that and go to bed early. ah, sleep... *bliss*
i've made the decision to cut down on my haldol dosage to see if it'll make me less sensitive to light. i don't know how i do it (i.e. i don't get bored or restless), but waking up at 7:00am every day but not getting out to bed hours later is sort of a drag. i bet my body is atrophying as we speak; i spend my days either sitting in a chair or lying down.
a weird thing happened today after lunch. i was with a coworker, and after we ate, we just drove all the way to mountain view, made a u-turn and drove back. seems like this dude likes to delay his return to work, for which i can't blame him. :/
that's the thing about this company. no one seems to be happy, to be excited to work. there's a lot of negativity, and it just weighs me down.
i'm back to doing this silly chironeuro exercise where i wear my old glasses, but part of my view is obstructed by a piece of paper taped to the lens. this time, i'm blocking off the left side of my left eye, and it wouldn't be so bad if i didn't have to do it for TWO hours a day! and seeing as how i can't do this at work, i'm relegated to doing this after work, which sucks most of my night in 1.5-eyed vision.
anyways... i'm still feeling a bit bummed out about A; hopefully i'll get over it soon enough.
well, a bomb got dropped on me yesterday. it turns out A is seeing someone.
man, that sure as hell sucks. i mean, i've only hung out with her four times, but it was under my assumption that she was single! yuck. i hate it when stuff like this happens (it's happened to me before, obviously).
i mean, i think she's cool, and she has been growing on me, so this is a total setback. damn, and i was beginning to think that there could be something between us.
so now what? i think that's what's bugging me now. in fact, upon finding out her relationship status, i got hit with yet another panic attack yesterday and had to go home early. *sigh*
anyways, don't worry. i'll be ok. it'll just take a wee bit longer to get over this.