well, i had panic attack number 8 yesterday afternoon. i'm beginning to wonder if basketball has anything to do with it, because after i exercise, i feel all jittery and stuff. i went home at 3 and just slept.
i did, however, feel good enough to have dinner with the yujster at our venue of choice, ryowa ramen. i even bumped into grace there! she and yuji turned out to have some friends in common. small world, it is.
i am not doing well these days. work is dragging me down. every morning, though, i feel refreshed and gung ho about getting some shit done at the office, but by the time i get there, the spur of motivation is gone, and i'm depressed again.
tonight, some of the bowling gang are meeting up to have cuban food. hm. i've never had cuban food before (does mango cafe count? *shrug*), so my interest is piqued.
anyways, i am starting to dislike _the OC_. all these new characters they put on the show seem boring and plain, and i miss the seth/summer/anna love triangle. i just hope they bring back anna stern (samaire armstrong) for a few episodes at least. she had spunk, at least.
sigh. no roommates this weekend. they're off to wisconsin for ting's cousin's wedding, and i'm off to fend for myself socially. i do, however, have tentative plans to meet up with A tomorrow night for dinner, so we'll see what happens there.
i miss my family. right now, my parents are in taiwan. i worry for my mother's health, just as she does for me. both of us are nervous, anxiety-laden people, and coincidentally, we both take xanax for our panic attacks. but knowing what such an attack does to me, i am very worried about my mother going through them herself.
i added another item to the list of things i carry around in my pockets. i now carry around this pillbox (from the gap, of all places) that contains two 0.25mg of xanax. yup, my medication is mobile now!
i miss laughing. i don't think i've had a good hearty laugh in months. where is the humor?
anyways, these days i just want to lie in bed. too bad i still can't sleep when it's light outside, so i spend much of the time just dozing and cuddling, which isn't so bad in and of itself. my roommates know how much i love lying down on the living room futon, so for my birthday, they got me a nice blue soft down comforter just for those occasions. *touched*
anyhow, another week has come and gone. i hope all of you out there are doing well. *cheer*
happy friday!