so imagine that all the characteristics of a girl can be quantified in plain yes/no questions, whose answers can be represented with one bit each. thus, a girl can be described with a single binary vector, say N qualities condensed into an N'hFFFF...FFFF value.
some qualities are supersets of others, like "is a good e-mail correspondent" encompasses more specific qualities like "responds promptly," "writes interesting shit," and "changes the subject line to something witty."
now, if the top-level quality is already a negative, it completely wipes out all the other values, (given the above 4-pronged example) resulting in a brutal level of 4'b0000 instead of possible (and better) values of 4'b1010, 4'b1101, etc.
and that is quite disappointing indeed. if you imagine that a girl has this huge possible binary expansion, all these paths to an exponential number of leaf cells marked "1," a high-level negation blocks off an entire branch of goodness, pruning the tree into a stunted lopsided mass.
funny thing is, upon first meeting someone, i give the person a benefit of the doubt, a full 2^N tree, if you will. and the more i get to know them, the more pruning i have to do. it's not something i find enjoyable. you'd think that it would be more positive if i started out with N'd0 and worked my way up. it's all about perspective, right?
i have curry breath. ick. and to my dismay, there were BEEF CHUNKS in my katsu curry! and no, i didn't pick them out. sigh. the paranoia begins!
i am always a bit hesitant to show my coworkers my online pictures, either from my blog or from my old journal. because i have a suspicion that they'll dig around after i leave and find my blog and start reading. and what then? WHAT THEN?
i dunno about cantopop. something about the language really turns me off. it just doesn't sound mellifluous! yes, best stick to j-pop.
I AM A TICCING MANIAC! OH YES I AM!
(i wonder when this two-month-old hell will end.)
i am tired of dating. you'd *think* that after being single for so long, i'd start to get desperate or something. but no. i am still picky as ever, perhaps even moreso. what gives?
*sigh*
i think it's sort of a curse to demand high standards for living. you spend more money, you waste more energy pursuing what you want, you are more likely to be dissatisfied, and for what? a fulfilment of unreasonable (and unjustified) standards?
better to get a lobotomy (figuratively speaking, of course), methinks. that way i'd be happy with whatever.
you know that scene near the beginning of _shallow hal_ where they show why hal is so, um, superficially driven? (the scene with the dad on the deathbed) i wonder what made me so shallow. i don't think my parents said anything to me of that sort.
*ponder*
i think it was k1.
yo yo yo! happy friday to you all! hope you get some well-deserved rest (or fun) this weekend.
so, alan and ting are gone on a romantic excursion this entire weekend (they left this morning), so i'll have to fend for myself socially the entire time. which is fine, i guesss. i have stuff lined up already. woot!
it's hard, though, to be social when i feel this shitty in the brain. like, today, i had lunch with two coworkers, and while they talked, i just sat there, twitching, trying o sneak a bite or two of food in between the tics. it fucking sucks, man.
i know i need to take one weekend and do absolutely NOTHING but sleep and lie down. in the past, that has provided my body the "reset" that it needs, but i guess i just feel like that's sort of a waste of time, i.e. not being social and meeting up with people.
anyways, during lunch today, one of my coworkers brought up the subject of ex-girlfriends. and he asked if we kept in touch with ours. (you should know by now that my answer was a resounding NO.) but it was weird because the other guy was like late 30's, married, with two kids. odd to hear him answer a question about an ex-girlfriend.
we also hit fry's afterwards. i was tempted to buy a maxtor external hard drive to back up my iMac, but balked because i simply don't feel the urgency to do so. my inaction might bite me in the ass later (*knock on wood*), so we'll see. but do you think this is the best option (external hard drive vs. burning dvd's)?
i just talked to our hr girl over here, and she's cool... she demands a 1.33-1.5ct diamond ring (which isn't that cool), but she says she'll willing to pay for half of it. and THAT is neat.
i haven't had an anti-diamond rant in a while. but i'm not going to start. after talking to people like this hr girl and mallory, i think i've realized that as a man, there is no choice but to resign myself to the power the diamond has over women. *shrug*