...it's all about perspective.
i miss jack in the box's pizza pockets and chicken mushroom burgers. i don't know if you remember those, but they were around in the early 90's. man, that was good shit.
i'm hungry. wondering where my next meal is going to come from. garlic burrito sounds pretty damn fine right now.
wow. my armpits really smell. funny thing is, they didn't used to. in fact, the first time i got a whiff of the "stench" was when i buried my head into my gf's armpit. i was like, "WHAT IS THAT ODOR??!!" hehe.
ok. i don't have much more to say. it's been a long fucking day, and i am OUTTA HERE.
i need peace. desperately. every waking conscious moment is like a hellstorm.
*RAAR*
oddly enough, i only feel peaceful when i'm horizontal or naked. ha!
it's all regressing. ALL OF IT. i thought i was over this fucking TS. i was like, "well, it usually gets better in the latter 20's" and BAM! i hit the late 20's, and things definitely improved. but now... it's all just... the old hell.
sigh.
i don't understand my body. or my brain.
yeah, life is hard right now. pretty damn fucking hard.
i just wonder... i wonder what i'm doing wrong. i wonder what happened to make things so bad. i wonder what i can do about it, and i wonder when it's going to get better. because i can't stand being like this.
wow, i feel like shit today. my tics are bad, my shoulders hurt, my left ankle and knee were acting up during basketball, and now i have a fucking headache. *RAAR*
have you ever had GREEN puke? well, i did the other night. drank some odwalla superfood (you know, the green spirulina shit), felt sick, and yacked it back up. it felt like slime was oozing (though at a faster rate) out of my mouth.
red puke is also quite neat... it happened to me after i vomited some hawaiian punch. yay for colors!
and let's see... cold puke is also a thing to behold. ice cream. yup.
i am a bulimic wannabe, i guess. definitely a well-seasoned yacker.
have you ever gotten the urge to just wipe your ass? because it feels good? i'm in that state right now; as soon as i finish up this entry, i'm gonna go to the bathroom and clean my sphincter.
do people still use the term "making love?" i haven't heard it for a long time now. personally, i prefer the use of the word "romp" because it makes sex sound like run, like two rambunctious animals going at it. romp romp romp!
been debugging today. not my shit, but other people's shit. this chip is so large and convoluted and complex that i am afraid that the verification environment is getting unwieldy. ho hum.
very little going on today. i think that's getting to be the norm, and that worries me. what can i blog about if nothing is happening, and more importantly, my brain isn't creating thoughts?
speaking of brains, i am thinking about changing medication and going back to the old venerable atomic bomb of antipsychotics, haldol. *shrug* we'll see after i talk to my psych about it. but abilify just ain't working for me these days.
ok, off to clean my asshole!
i voted for john stevens last night. it's toll-free, right?
jasmine didn't do so well, and i think it's time for diana degarmo to go.
last night, i tried to create my own version of mongolian bbq. no, i didn't cook, but i went to the mr chau's wannabe, got the chow mein, and doused it with chili paste when i got home. it just wasn't the same. nothing matches the noodles when they're coated with the hot sauce and made fresh right off the steaming hot iron platform. *slurps*
anyhow, i had a little thing going for summer (rachel bilson) last night during _the OC_. seeing her hold up the drill... man, it's true what they say about the "girl + power tools" fetish! hee.
but poor luke. they just had to write him out of the show, huh? i figured as such; he's done all the damage he can do, and he doesn't fit in romantically with anyone anymore, so... adieu beefcake!
and the mention of the "care bear stare" on last night's episode brought back memories. i occasionally used to call one of my ex's "carebear" (thought i spelled it differently, with a 'k' obviously :), and when she said the phrase, she would punch out her nice perky chest upon the word "stare." it was cute, even though i had never watched the care bears before.
ok, time to start preparing for basketball. more later, ok?